Surviving Summer Break in a COVID-19 World

surviving-summer-break-in-a-covid19-world
summer break during covid-19

Most kids love summer break from school – a relaxed schedule, sleeping in, fun places to go and lots of time outside. But we are in a new reality with the COVID-19 pandemic. Kids – and parents – are coming off nearly three months of adapting to distance learning. Additionally, many of the typical summer activities are closed or modified. So for a child with autism (and their parents) the end of distance learning, limited or cancelled therapies, no places to go, facing summer break probably seems daunting!

As autism parents know, having a predictable schedule helps kids on the autism spectrum make sense of their world, knowing what to expect from day to day and sometimes hour to hour. So even in your exhaustion from the past few months, it’s time to prepare for summer break.

Are you wondering how do you facilitate a summer break that provides the structure your child with autism needs? Not to mention doing this during the new world of social distancing, closed playgrounds and pools, cancelled summer camps and vacations? It may seem overwhelming. But we’ve got some simple tips to help you and your child survive summer break in our new COVID-19 world! (And these can help typical kids too.) Whether you will be home with your kids, you have someone coming it to care of them while you work, or they will be doing summer therapies, these ideas may help.

Celebrate the End of Distance Learning!

Let’s face it, this school year has been like no other! So it’s definitely something to celebrate the end of distance learning and all the extra responsibilities you’ve taken on. You can start off summer break with an activity or treat. From something simple like getting take-out from their favorite restaurant or going out for ice cream – yes many are open here in Michigan! Or you could throw an “end of school year” party with balloons, games, fun snacks and a dance party. What you and your children have been through is worthy of a celebrating!

Create a Summer Schedule

As you may have done during this time of distance learning, use visuals to show what your child’s “typical” weekdays and weekends will be on a calendar. And then create a “typical day” schedule to show when they will get up, get dressed, eat meals, activities, and outings. So if they are able to resume some in person therapies, or you take a daily walk or ride in the car,  put them in the schedule to show them what to expect. And for days at home, read on for how to have a schedule on those days too. 

Help reduce anxiety of “the unknown” by reviewing the schedule each day, or even the night before, so they know what will be happening. Here is one example you can download. A quick Google or Pinterest search will offer a variety of options.

Sticking to a Schedule Has Benefits

Traditionally summer break is an easy time to get too relaxed and let go of any set schedule. But the more you can stick to a routine for bedtime and wake up time, meals and limiting screen time, the more well-regulated your child will hopefully be.

Online Therapies & Camps

Not that we want to encourage even more screen time, but there are some great opportunities to make your child’s screen time purposeful! If they are able to attend and engage with short amounts of screen learning, you can look into some online camp opportunities. There are so many programs popping up due to in person camps being closed. From educational classes to keep their learning progressing, to Lego camps, coding, dance, art, music, and more!

And if your child typically receives ESY (Extended School Year) services, but are missing out on important therapies over the summer, consider telehealth speech and occupational therapies. Many providers are now offering them, including our team!

Have A Summer Break Rules Chart

The never-ending requests for the iPad, video games and TV can be managed to a degree with a Summer Vacation Rules list that details out the things they need to do BEFORE they get to use any technology. The rules can include chores like getting dressed, brushing teeth, making their bed, cleaning their room, and more advanced chores for older kids. You can also have a rule for playing – inside and outside for specific amounts of time, as wells as a bit of academic work that is age appropriate – reading for 30 minutes, writing a story, art or coloring for 20 minutes. Here’s one example from Thirty Handmade Days.

Back Up Plans Teach Flexibility

For some kids, they may have learned to be more flexible with change during the Stay Home order and learning a completely new routine. But if not, work on teaching your child about a backup plan or “Option A” and “Option B”. If your schedule is to go visit their cousin’s house, but someone in the house isn’t feeling well, talk with them about a backup plan in case you can’t go that day. Reviewing with them what you will do if they can’t do what’s on the schedule will help reduce behaviors associated with a “change in plans”.

We hope these ideas help you create some structure AND fun for you and your family during this summer like no other! Remember to take it one day at a time.

What are some ways you survive the summer months with your child with autism? Let us know in the comments! And if you’re looking for help for your child with autism this summer, learn how we’ve adjusted our programs for our new COVID-19 world.

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How to Manage Your Stress in Uncertain Times

As the Coronavirus global pandemic continues to be a major crisis, we all are in uncharted territory in our lives and our country. The stay at home orders continue and schools are closed through the end of the school year here in Michigan. The unknowns can be very stressful, where do we even begin to manage this stress? In addition, taking on new responsibilities of becoming teachers to our kids, managing the complete shake up routines, some have lost jobs and income – these are all incredible stressors. We are navigating being in close quarters with the same people day after day, as well as the fear of getting this novel virus. Social distancing also causes us to miss out on important socialization and support of our community. And on top of all of this, families of kids with autism and other special needs have additional unique stressors to manage!

So where do you even begin to manage your own stress so that you can be a more effective and present parent and partner to your family? Let’s first start with understanding how stress impacts our bodies and what it can look like so you can identify it. Then we’ll look at our perspective in stressful situations and how we can direct it. And then finally we’ll provide a variety of tools and techniques to help you manage your stress.

Stress and Our Bodies

Our bodies were designed to engage in the stress response for life-threatening situations – fight, flight or freeze response. Think lions in the brush. So, even when the stressor is not life-threatening, our bodies react inside like it is. Hormones in our bodies lead us to the fight, flight or freeze response. When our stress response kicks in, our behaviors and thinking patterns becomes less flexible. Also, chronic stress breaks down the body leading to a weakened immune system and an increased likelihood of disease.

What Stress Might Look Like

Mental

  • Trouble thinking clearly
  • Memory problems
  • Can’t concentrate
  • Short attention span
  • Poor judgement
  • Anxious or racing throughs
  • Constant worrying

Physical

  • Tightness in muscles
  • Aches and pains
  • Headaches, trembling, sweating
  • Nausea, dizziness
  • Chest pain, rapid heartbeat
  • Loss of appetite
  • Lack of sleep, nightmares

Emotional

  • Moodiness
  • Easily upset or hurt
  • Irritability or short temper
  • Agitation, unable to relax or keep still
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Sense of loneliness and isolation
  • Depression or general unhappiness

Behavioral

  • Eating more or less
  • Sleeping too much or too little
  • Isolating yourself from others
  • Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
  • Using alcohol, cigarettes or drugs to relax
  • Nervous habits like nail biting, pacing, etc.

5 Myths About Stress

The following are some common misconceptions regarding stress:

  1. Myth: In an ideal world, there would be no stress.
    Truth: A little stress is natural and healthy and can help motivate us.
  2. Myth: What is stressful to me is stressful to you.
    Truth: Perspective, culture & personal history play a role.
  3. Myth: Only unpleasant situations are stressful.
    Truth: New job, new home & a new love can all be positive AND stressful.
  4. Myth: No symptoms, no stress.
    Truth: Symptoms are a warning sign but might not be present or you might not be tuned into symptoms.
  5. Myth: Stress is inevitable, so you can’t do anything about it.
    Truth: Techniques can be learned to prevent some stress & be less impacted by stress that you can’t control.

Perspective Is Key

Our perspective of the situation we are in is KEY. Worrying about things we cannot control is not only fruitless but can be self-destructive. There are certain behavioral patterns associated with interpreting events less stressfully:

  1. Viewing potentially stressful events as interesting and meaningful
  2. Considering change as normal and an opportunity for growth
  3. Believing oneself as capable of having influence on some events

You Have a Choice in How Your Respond to Stressful Situations

In most situations, stress begins with a thought. We may not be able to control the event, but we can control our response to the event. Our choice is to respond with curiosity, interest, and an open-mind  (solution-orientated) or to respond with a closed mind, negative, dismissive & hopeless.

More effective ways to respond to a stressful situation include:

  • Gratitude: “I appreciate….”, “I am thankful for…”
  • Acceptance: “It’s ok….”, “I can go with the flow…”
  • Discovery: “I wonder…”, “What can I learn from this?”
  • Observation: “I am noticing….”

Identifying and Understanding Your Values

80th Birthday Party Exercise

A great way to identify and understand what your values are is to think about what you would want people to say about you at your 80th birthday part. Write down the qualities and characteristics you want people to know you for. Assess what is most important in your life. When your choices are guided by the values and goals that are most important to you, your life can be full and active, yet not stressful.

The Choice Point

Your choices either take you toward who you want to be, or away from who you want to be. The Choice Point is being in a difficult moment and experiencing difficult sensations and making a choice to move towards your values or away from your values. Taking action at a point in time that leads you towards your values, leads you to a more fulfilling life. Take a look at this video – The Choice Point: A Map for a Meaningful Life.

Psychological Flexibility

As mentioned earlier, our stress response kicks in, our behaviors and thinking patterns becomes less flexible. So here are some ways we can train ourselves to have psychological flexibility.

  • Being here now means being in the present moment (as opposed to thinking of the past or the future).
  • Accepting the way I feel means not avoiding unpleasant thoughts or feelings. Instead, sitting with them, experiencing them with compassion, curiosity and acceptance until they pass.
  • Noticing my thoughts means seeing thoughts as just thoughts. They come, they go. They are just what the brain does, makes thoughts. I don’t have to buy into my thoughts. They do not define me.
  • Doing what I care about means taking action to live life in accordance with my values.

Are Your Thoughts Helpful?

Check in with your actions or ‘away moves’ that take you away from your path, sometimes they are “good”, but not for long periods of times. If you are buying in to the story your mind is telling you, first take a moment to check out its WORKABILITY. Workability is when we see if our story helps us follow the path toward our meaningful life or does it move us away?

Thank your mind for your thoughts. This means you don’t have to buy into your thoughts. You can see them for what they are, thoughts. It also means you are not trying to replace your thoughts with more desirable thoughts, nor are you trying to stop or reduce your thoughts.

Avoidance

Avoiding our negative feelings and thoughts will not lead us to our values but to more suffering.

Avoidance of thoughts actually increases those thoughts in both frequency and strength and therefore their burden upon us.

Mindfulness

Instead of avoiding our thoughts and feelings, embracing the present moment and sitting with those thoughts and feelings, in a non-judgmental way, with curiosity and acceptance, helps us move toward our values. Mindfulness is the intentional, accepting and non-judgmental focus of one’s attention on the emotions, thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment.

A few mindfulness resources to check out:

5 Myths of Mindfulness – Dr. Russ Harris (3:25 min)

Body Scan – Dr. Joseph Ciarrochi (27 min) http://josephciarrochi.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/body_scan.mp3

Awareness of the breath – M. Rassmusen (10 min)  https://contextualscience.org/files/Mindfulness%20of%20Breath%20Rasmussen%20mp3.mp3

Managing Your Stress

It’s important to find some relaxation methods that you can incorporate into your life for better management of your stress, which leads to better health!

Taking care of yourself

Some of these seem like a no-brainer, but it’s a good reminder that during stressful times, these basic elements can help tremendously in managing your stress.

  • Exercise – Even minimal exercise leaves you feeling better!
  • Good Food – Fuel your body with healthy foods. Whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies.
  • Sleep – Find ways to get that 8 hours of sleep. Get creative if needed.
  • Be realistic with your expectations for yourself and others.
  • Have patience and grace with yourself and others.
  • Use perspective taking to help understand other people – How you express your emotions, might not be the same as others.
  • Take a moment away for yourself when you need it.

Guided Imagery & Meditation

Guided Imagery & Meditation are essentially methods of focus. Focus on the breath, on a light, on a mantra. Benefits include decreased stress, increased focus, better sleep, improved heart health and immunity. Many exercises can be found on-line. Find one that resonates with you and find a quiet place to focus on yourself.

Yoga

Yoga has many variations. Find the one that fits your needs and a quiet place to practice. Yoga increases strength, flexibility and mindfulness and improves balance, focus and posture. It has been demonstrated to decrease stress, anxiety, improve health factors such as heart and immune health, improve sleep and focus. Many apps and YouTube resources are available for your quarantine time.

The Joys of Quarantine?

It may seem like an oxymoron but try to find the joys of quarantine. It could be any number of things.

  • More time with your children
  • More time to connect as a family
  • Getting back to basics
  • More time to be mindful
  • More time to ponder our values

How to Manage Your Stress Recap

Check in with your stress levels during this unprecedented time. Look to see how your perspective is influencing your thoughts. Look at your choices to respond. Remember your values and what actions lead you toward them and which ones lead you away from them. Be psychologically flexible: “I am here now, accepting the way I feel, and noticing my thoughts, while doing what I care about.” Avoidance of negative thoughts just gives them more power, acceptance is more adaptive. Utilize stress management techniques like intentional focus on taking care of yourself, mindfulness, yoga, guided imagery and more! We hope these recommendations and resources are helpful as you seek to manage your stress during these challenging days.

Need Additional Help?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Resources

ACT books

  • Get Out of Your Mind and into Your Life by Steven C. Hayes
  • The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
  • Act Made Simple by Russ Harris
Counseling Services

Seek out professional support. We and many others have telehealth counseling services available during this time. And our counselors understand the complexities of being a parent to a child with autism. Contact us today for more details.

This content is from a webinar Dr. Jennifer Thomas, PhD, BCBA-D, LBA, Director of Clinical Standards at Healing Haven, and Danielle Harrison, MA, LPC, Counselor at Healing Haven presented to parents. You can download a copy of the slides here.

Shelter in Place Resources for Parents

resources-for-shelter-in-place

We are in a rapidly-changing, unprecedented time in our world as this global health crisis spreads throughout our country. As more drastic measures are taken each day to slow the spread of COVID-19 (Coronaviurs), to “flatten the curve”, we all are scrambling to figure out this new normal. Kids are out of school, many are people working remotely, or have been temporarily laid off. And in our case, our clients are not receiving therapy until we can roll out some support to our families through telehealth services.

So what are we to do as parents, caregivers and professionals? We’ve compiled a list of resources for parents to help you navigate this extraordinary reality we are now in.

Talking with Your Kids About Coronavirus

First, some of your kids may be asking specifically about coronavirus, or the results of it – why they are not in school or going to therapies? Here are several resources to help.

  • PBS Kids has tools to help you talk with your children about this novel virus.
  • This Psychology Today article provides some great resources and tips for explaining this global health crisis to children with autism.
  • This Washington Post article is written by a Mom of with an autistic 8 year old son.
  • And for those who may be experiencing anxiety, here is some help for addressing that too!

Creating New Routines

We all know how important routines are for kids with autism, Down syndrome, and even typical kids! And now those routines are turned upside down. So here is a free downloadable routine schedule that you can customize for your child and situation. And here are some timely activities from the same resource – A Next Comes L – with activities to do at home in the month of April.

Homeschooling

One of the biggest changes the Coronavirus has brought on us is the closing down of schools. Parents are now tasked with continuing the education of their kids! For some that may come easy, but for most, it’s a whole new world, especially if your child has an IEP! So, in addition to whatever your child’s school is providing, we’ve compiled a list of resources that address this new educational reality facing parents. (*Note: Full disclosure, I have a daughter in 3rd grade. She also has Down syndrome. We already tried a few of these resources. I highly recommend you check them out!) If you’re wondering how to structure their day, or need worksheets to keep them busy, or want some interactive online lessons, and more, take a look at these tools.

Educational Tools:

And here are some fun entertaining, while educational resources – watching webcams of animals at the National Zoo, or of sea life at the Georgia Aquarium.

Therapy Resources

If your child is not receiving their typical therapies like OT and PT, definitely check out The OT Toolbox. From fine motor activities to sensory processing resources, they have some amazing supports in their Parent Toolbox! And OT/picky eater expert and blogger at Your Kids Table provides some survival tips for parents during this social distancing time.

Get Moving

Being cooped up inside all day every day will make anyone go stir crazy. So you definitely will need to work in some time to get moving. Whether you go for a walk or play in the backyard, or use one of these online resources, these are great tools to keep kids moving during this self quarantine period. Stretch, move and bring a sense of calm through yoga from Cosmic Kids. A favorite “brain break” in many schools, GoNoodle, can help get the wiggles out to focus on their next task. And Fluency and Fitness combines academics with movement, reinforcing learning, while getting up and moving!

Specific to Autism

In addition to the social story linked above, here’s a list of activities to keep a teenager with autism busy while they are out of school. And above we included resources from A Next Comes L. Sign up for her newsletter to get lots of great resources during this Coronavirus shelter-in-place!

We have some additional resources we will be providing our client families in the coming weeks, too. We are developing a stress management webinar to equip parents during this understandably stressful time. Additionally, we’re planning on a companion stress management blog post. So stay tuned for that!

We are in this together and are developing unique ways to support our community and network during this unique and trying time.

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