6 Ideas for Practicing Social Skills with Autistic Children

Learning and practicing social skills can be challenging for anyone. But as a parent of a child with autism you may feel nervous when it comes to your child engaging in social activities at school and in other settings. We know how important it is for autistic children to practice social skills – it is something we work on every day in our clinics. It is important for children to know how to: 

  • Communicate in different situations (such as conversing with family or talking to their teacher) 
  • Identify and manage emotions
  • Make and keep friends
  • Listen to and learn from others
  • Cultivate interests and hobbies
  • Develop independence

Though socializing is a challenge for many children on the spectrum, kids are adaptable and resilient. Practicing social skills is a terrific way to ensure these important skills are being strengthened regularly. We have compiled a variety of ways you can incorporate social skill-building in your weekly routines. 

1. Daily intentional social engagement

Aim to socially interact with your child at least once a day. Set this time aside intentionally. You can “sneak” in working on social skills during this time—it does not have to be “work” if you set it up as fun! Suggest an activity you can do together or ask to join them in whatever they are engaged in. One example is reading a story together and talking about how the characters feel, relating it to your child’s life. Or compile conversational questions on slips of paper and pull one out each night at dinner. Ask the question of everyone at the table so your child has models of how to answer the question. Getting on their level can open doors to positive communication which they can carry out into the world. 

2. Practice play

More specifically, practice social skills by getting involved in pretend play with your child, such as shopping at the store or pretending to cook together in a play kitchen. Think of what social encounters your child might experience in these settings and provide opportunities for social interaction. For example, if you are “shopping at the store,” your child can be the clerk and you can be the customer asking how much something costs. Additionally, games such as simple board games or Hide and Seek provide social opportunities like taking turns and having good sportsmanship. 

3. Set up play dates

In order for your child to learn how to connect with other kids and build self-confidence, encourage practicing social skills  similar  to their neurotypical peers. Connect with parents and set up play dates. Whether the kids are on the spectrum or not, there are benefits for your child hanging out with them! Neurotypical kids offer great examples for appropriate socializing, play scenarios, following the rules of a game, etc. While socializing with fellow kids with autism allows them to connect with someone who has a similar mind and skill level. 

4. Watch a video of a social activity

If your child tends to get anxious before going somewhere where they’ll interact with others, it may be helpful to show a video of the place beforehand. If your child has a tough time doing social activities, such as going to the theatre to see a play or musical, find a video of another kid going to the theatre. Discuss what is happening in the video with your child, what to expect, and how to act when at the theatre. Pay attention to any concerns they might relay or what specific parts of the place or activity make them nervous. Whether it’s going to the theatre, ordering at a restaurant, or playing at a water park, giving your child some context through a video or even just pictures can ease their mind. 

5. Practice social skills learned in ABA sessions (if applicable)

Since social skills are worked on consistently in ABA Therapy, if your child is enrolled, it’s crucial that skills are generalized outside of therapy. Ask your child’s BCBA what social skills to work on with your child and how to practice them at home. Kids can practice with parents or siblings, and even pets. For example, talk about how a pet might feel in a particular moment. You can even set up the same reward system as they have at the clinic, such as a token board, to encourage the generalization of social skills. 

6. Take breaks and create a “safe space”

We all need breaks from socializing, especially kids with autism. Children with autism tend to get overstimulated and overwhelmed much more than neurotypical kids. Create a safe space free from sensory or social overload, where your child can take a break when needed. This space could be a room or area in the house, or a favorite outdoor spot. Whatever the location, make sure it is clutter-free, calm, quiet, and stocked with any comforting items such as toys, special lighting, comfortable furniture, etc. 

Keep in mind that you do not need to jump in and try all these ideas at once. Slowly test them out and see which ones seem to help your child. As with trying anything new, time is needed to figure out what will stick, and some things will take more time than others for your child to adjust to.  

If you’re needing additional help in teaching your child social skills, ABA and Speech Therapy are wonderful ways to provided additional support. Contact us for more info.

Strategies for Managing Challenging Behaviors for Children with Autism

“Challenging behaviors” are defined as “behaviors that can be disruptive and/or difficult to manage.” Challenging behaviors may manifest in several different forms including avoidance, aggression, self-harm, destruction, eating inedible items (otherwise known as Pica), elopement, tantrums, screaming, and more. These behaviors can happen in any setting, whether it’s in a public place or in the home. But depending on the cause (or “function”) of the behavior, there are ways to lessen the likelihood of behaviors happening. Likewise, there are ways to respond when they do occur. We have gathered strategies for managing challenging behaviors for children with autism from our Director of Clinical Standards, Dr. Jennifer Thomas, Ph.D., BCBA-D, LBA. 

Why Challenging Behaviors Happen 

While behaviors often have a driving reason for their occurrence, they can sometimes be dangerous. If your child is engaging in behaviors that put them or someone else at risk, we strongly recommend you seek professional help.  When it comes to managing challenging behaviors in children with autism, it is important to remember that behavior is communication.

There is always a reason for a child’s behavior. For example, the behavior may be the result of the child wanting to get something or to get away from something. This, in simple terms, could be a person, place, activity, or type of internal/external stimulation. Dr. Thomas says that challenging behaviors “often have more than one cause,” making it difficult to pinpoint why they occurred. A Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) has the expertise to help parents. Through careful observation and data collection, BCBAs can determine why a behavior is occurring. Based on this, they can craft an individualized plan to help teach parents how to respond in a way that will minimize behaviors and maximize success. 

How to Prevent the Likelihood of Challenging Behaviors Occurring 

While specific expertise is needed to craft a plan to decrease severe challenging behaviors, there are some tips that can help parents plan ahead to decrease the likelihood of these behaviors occurring in the first place. It is important to remember that having good communication between yourself and your child is a great starting point! While this is no easy task, there are ways you can prepare your environment(s), and your child, so that these behaviors are less likely to occur. 

“Set your child up for success,” says Dr. Thomas, by recognizing the components that are likely to cause behaviors. This can be done by being observant. Look for patterns such as similarities in context or environment that a behavior happens, similarities in reactions to certain events, and changes in setting and mood before, during, and after a behavior occurs. Physically make note of these patterns, if possible, to reference and help yourself to make mental connections. Doing so can help you identify and plan ahead to possibly prevent a behavior. This is also great information to provide to your BCBA. 

The following are some tools to help prevent challenging behaviors: 
  • Having a consistent communication method (AAC device, PECS, signs, gestures, vocal language). 
  • Carrying sensory toys or snacks with you.  
  • Having headphones or sunglasses available in public places to reduce sensory irritations. 
  • Prepare your child’s expectations before doing something difficult or novel. 
  • Bring fun activities or snacks to make undesired activities or outings a bit more fun. 
  • Make trips short, if possible. 
  • Avoid areas that you know may trigger your child, if possible. 
  • Use timers and countdowns. 
  • More ideas are available through the Autism Research Institute. 

How to Respond When Challenging Behaviors Occur 

How you respond to your child’s challenging behaviors depends on the behavior that is occurring and what the trigger is. The cause of behaviors, Dr. Thomas emphasizes, oftentimes lies at the root of a communication struggle, impulsive behaviors, or issues with emotional regulation. Dr. Thomas says it is helpful to think about what the child is trying to communicate and to be observational. This is the first step in figuring out how to respond when a behavior occurs. As every child’s situation is unique, professional expertise is necessary when formulating a specific way to respond. It is also helpful to teach your child calming strategies, in addition to focusing on some of the other areas of struggle.

Some coping strategies may include:  
  • Squeezing hands 
  • Stomping feet 
  • Counting 
  • Taking deep breaths 

Some children are easily redirected if you can draw their attention elsewhere during a behavioral episode. This may be effective in the moment but is not a long-term solution. The most important thing to remember when trying to manage a challenging behavioral scenario with your child is to “get safely through that moment and know there is another learning opportunity to come,” says Dr. Thomas. Also, remember to have compassion for your child and yourself as you’re going through this tough and often stressful situation.   

Where to Get Help with Managing Challenging Behaviors 

ABA Therapy is a very effective resource for addressing challenging behaviors. In ABA Therapy, we focus on teaching ways to communicate and behave. “Children should always have a functional way to get their needs met,” Dr. Thomas says. This is where Functional Communication Training, or FCT, comes in. Functional communication can be as small as the child pointing to something they want, as a means of asking for it, or handing over a picture icon of an item. 

“We begin by teaching a communication task that children find easy, this varies based on skill level. The idea is to give children another, more appropriate skill to use to communicate in lieu of using a challenging behavior.” If your child is already in ABA Therapy, their Board Certified Behavior Analyst, or BCBA, is a great resource.  For children enrolled in a school program, an Individualized Educational Program, or IEP, can be a great resource to reference. If your child has not had a developmental evaluation, and is exhibiting challenging behaviors, it may be time to seek out a pediatric or developmental psychologist. From there, a psychologist would be able to perform assessments that could determine if there is anything underlying the child’s behaviors. Healing Haven’s Testing & Assessments services can help with this process, as well as contacting your child’s pediatrician.  

In addition to these resources, there are several organizations that can help, such as: Autism Alliance of Michigan, Autism Support of Michigan, Michigan Alliance for Families, National Autism Association. 

Challenging Behaviors: Finding Community 

The behaviors you encounter from your children can sometimes be difficult to manage, but keep in mind that you are not alone. In addition to the professional resources we have shared, there are other parents who understand. Finding community is important in helping share ideas and reducing your own stress.   

If you’re thinking you need more help in how to manage your child’s challenging behaviors, please contact us for information about our ABA Therapy for kids with autism. And our testing and assessments services can empower you with information on how to best support your child.  

We hope that throughout this article you were able to find useful information that can be utilized going forward. Don’t hesitate to share this piece with others, as well as comment, if you found it helpful!