Strategies for Managing Challenging Behaviors for Children with Autism

Child exhibiting frustration as they cover their eyes.

“Challenging behaviors” are defined as “behaviors that can be disruptive and/or difficult to manage.” Challenging behaviors may manifest in several different forms including avoidance, aggression, self-harm, destruction, eating inedible items (otherwise known as Pica), elopement, tantrums, screaming, and more. These behaviors can happen in any setting, whether it’s in a public place or in the home. But depending on the cause (or “function”) of the behavior, there are ways to lessen the likelihood of behaviors happening. Likewise, there are ways to respond when they do occur. We have gathered strategies for managing challenging behaviors for children with autism from our Director of Clinical Standards, Dr. Jennifer Thomas, Ph.D., BCBA-D, LBA. 

Why Challenging Behaviors Happen 

While behaviors often have a driving reason for their occurrence, they can sometimes be dangerous. If your child is engaging in behaviors that put them or someone else at risk, we strongly recommend you seek professional help.  When it comes to managing challenging behaviors in children with autism, it is important to remember that behavior is communication.

There is always a reason for a child’s behavior. For example, the behavior may be the result of the child wanting to get something or to get away from something. This, in simple terms, could be a person, place, activity, or type of internal/external stimulation. Dr. Thomas says that challenging behaviors “often have more than one cause,” making it difficult to pinpoint why they occurred. A Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) has the expertise to help parents. Through careful observation and data collection, BCBAs can determine why a behavior is occurring. Based on this, they can craft an individualized plan to help teach parents how to respond in a way that will minimize behaviors and maximize success. 

How to Prevent the Likelihood of Challenging Behaviors Occurring 

While specific expertise is needed to craft a plan to decrease severe challenging behaviors, there are some tips that can help parents plan ahead to decrease the likelihood of these behaviors occurring in the first place. It is important to remember that having good communication between yourself and your child is a great starting point! While this is no easy task, there are ways you can prepare your environment(s), and your child, so that these behaviors are less likely to occur. 

“Set your child up for success,” says Dr. Thomas, by recognizing the components that are likely to cause behaviors. This can be done by being observant. Look for patterns such as similarities in context or environment that a behavior happens, similarities in reactions to certain events, and changes in setting and mood before, during, and after a behavior occurs. Physically make note of these patterns, if possible, to reference and help yourself to make mental connections. Doing so can help you identify and plan ahead to possibly prevent a behavior. This is also great information to provide to your BCBA. 

The following are some tools to help prevent challenging behaviors: 
  • Having a consistent communication method (AAC device, PECS, signs, gestures, vocal language). 
  • Carrying sensory toys or snacks with you.  
  • Having headphones or sunglasses available in public places to reduce sensory irritations. 
  • Prepare your child’s expectations before doing something difficult or novel. 
  • Bring fun activities or snacks to make undesired activities or outings a bit more fun. 
  • Make trips short, if possible. 
  • Avoid areas that you know may trigger your child, if possible. 
  • Use timers and countdowns. 
  • More ideas are available through the Autism Research Institute. 

How to Respond When Challenging Behaviors Occur 

How you respond to your child’s challenging behaviors depends on the behavior that is occurring and what the trigger is. The cause of behaviors, Dr. Thomas emphasizes, oftentimes lies at the root of a communication struggle, impulsive behaviors, or issues with emotional regulation. Dr. Thomas says it is helpful to think about what the child is trying to communicate and to be observational. This is the first step in figuring out how to respond when a behavior occurs. As every child’s situation is unique, professional expertise is necessary when formulating a specific way to respond. It is also helpful to teach your child calming strategies, in addition to focusing on some of the other areas of struggle.

Some coping strategies may include:  
  • Squeezing hands 
  • Stomping feet 
  • Counting 
  • Taking deep breaths 

Some children are easily redirected if you can draw their attention elsewhere during a behavioral episode. This may be effective in the moment but is not a long-term solution. The most important thing to remember when trying to manage a challenging behavioral scenario with your child is to “get safely through that moment and know there is another learning opportunity to come,” says Dr. Thomas. Also, remember to have compassion for your child and yourself as you’re going through this tough and often stressful situation.   

Where to Get Help with Managing Challenging Behaviors 

ABA Therapy is a very effective resource for addressing challenging behaviors. In ABA Therapy, we focus on teaching ways to communicate and behave. “Children should always have a functional way to get their needs met,” Dr. Thomas says. This is where Functional Communication Training, or FCT, comes in. Functional communication can be as small as the child pointing to something they want, as a means of asking for it, or handing over a picture icon of an item. 

“We begin by teaching a communication task that children find easy, this varies based on skill level. The idea is to give children another, more appropriate skill to use to communicate in lieu of using a challenging behavior.” If your child is already in ABA Therapy, their Board Certified Behavior Analyst, or BCBA, is a great resource.  For children enrolled in a school program, an Individualized Educational Program, or IEP, can be a great resource to reference. If your child has not had a developmental evaluation, and is exhibiting challenging behaviors, it may be time to seek out a pediatric or developmental psychologist. From there, a psychologist would be able to perform assessments that could determine if there is anything underlying the child’s behaviors. Healing Haven’s Testing & Assessments services can help with this process, as well as contacting your child’s pediatrician.  

In addition to these resources, there are several organizations that can help, such as: Autism Alliance of Michigan, Autism Support of Michigan, Michigan Alliance for Families, National Autism Association. 

Challenging Behaviors: Finding Community 

The behaviors you encounter from your children can sometimes be difficult to manage, but keep in mind that you are not alone. In addition to the professional resources we have shared, there are other parents who understand. Finding community is important in helping share ideas and reducing your own stress.   

If you’re thinking you need more help in how to manage your child’s challenging behaviors, please contact us for information about our ABA Therapy for kids with autism. And our testing and assessments services can empower you with information on how to best support your child.  

We hope that throughout this article you were able to find useful information that can be utilized going forward. Don’t hesitate to share this piece with others, as well as comment, if you found it helpful! 

The Benefits of Organized Space For Individuals With Autism

organized child's space
organized child's space

Have you ever tried working in a cluttered area? Or been distracted by noises or lighting while trying to focus? Most of us would not feel very successful if we were attempting to be productive in such an environment. For individuals with autism, distracting, messy work and play spaces can only magnify the struggle of focus when gaining new skills. Whether it’s your home or your child’s play area, keeping an organized space for individuals with autism reaps many benefits.

Why Organized Spaces for Individuals with Autism

A clean environment is an important element to the success of individuals with autism. In fact, it influenced the design of our clinics.  Our Executive Director Jamie McGillivary intentionally chose the colors of the walls, the use of natural light and artificial natural light, simple layout and organized spaces. And these principles can carry over into the home environment too.

Less Distraction

Many individuals on the autism spectrum experience excessive sensory input. Consequently, distraction is common. Too much unnecessary clutter and detail can derail a child’s focus. Even minor messes that may be easy for a neurotypical child to ignore could cause attention issues for those on the spectrum. Minimizing unhelpful sensory experiences aids in their ability to focus for individuals with autism.

Specifically, consider visual and auditory senses when designing a distraction-free space:

Visual

Keep walls simple in decoration to prevent overwhelm. Many kids with ASD notice minute details in the area around them. Tucking away supplies and toys in bins or cabinets out of sight reduces temptation to interact with them while also reducing distractions. For colors, utilize solid, soft tones such as green, blue and pink and avoid yellow as it can be overstimulating.

Auditory

Sensitivity to noise is a common symptom for kids with ASD. While neurotypical children may function easily with sounds considered background noise, those sounds may be incredibly distracting for children on the spectrum. Keep your child’s space as free as possible from traffic noises, humming machines, loud ticking clocks, and other potential “noise clutter.”

Enhances Organizational Skills

Organizational tasks that we deem simple may require more effort and practice for individuals with autism. A clean work environment promotes organization and productivity, which in turn helps a child acquire new skills. Designating organized areas helps individuals with autism predict what will take place in their workspace. Labeling areas such as drawers and cupboards can help kids practice putting their supplies and toys away when finished. This also helps reduce long-term clutter and ensures smoother transitions to new activities. Color coding is another fantastic way to make organizing easier for kids on the spectrum, as different colors represent different purposes for an area.

Reinforces Routine and Expectations

Organization helps an individual’s success and independence in following instructions. If a space is cluttered and messy, they will likely get more confused when trying to learn skills and complete routine tasks. According to research, organized and structured learning spaces aid kids in staying on-task and performing well academically. Structure helps you as a parent as well, as it can reduce the need for your assistance.

children's workspace

If you believe your child could benefit from some decluttering and organization at home, here are a few ideas to get started with over the summer. And remember, you don’t have to try all of these things at once!

  • Organize toys, art supplies, school materials, etc. into labeled areas and bins
  • Paint your child’s room a new, calming color
  • Tackle one room at a time and identify items you can remove or put away for a simplified and, hopefully, less stressful setting.

These ideas may not only benefit you, but your whole family may begin to feel some stress lift as a result of creating organized spaces for your child with autism.

Autism Acceptance and Finding Community

autism acceptance and finding community
parents meeting for coffee

April is here again, which means it is time to celebrate and honor Autism Acceptance Month. Previously called Autism Awareness Month, the recognized period was started in 1972 by the Autism Society as National Autistic Children’s Week. It evolved from that into an entire month of recognition. In 2021, it was renamed from Autism Awareness Month to Autism Acceptance Month.  

The Difference Between Awareness and Acceptance 

The evolution of this nationally celebrated month’s name is due to the need to move beyond “awareness”. Today, many people are already “aware” of autism, and have been for some time. This elevated awareness has led to an increase in autism diagnoses since the disorder’s discovery. Currently, autism is prevalent in 1 in 36 children aged 8 years old, according to the CDC. With that said, being aware of autism is vastly different than accepting individuals with autism. This month, we emphasize the ability to accept individuals with autism. One way this can be done is through meaningful action with a focus on parents of individuals with autism.  

Taking Action by Finding Community

Something that many people do not consider when they think of a child receiving an autism diagnosis is the toll it can have on the child’s parents and family. The impact of an autism diagnosis is that it can feel isolating. And that feeling of “being alone” can make it challenging for parents to find the support and community they need. In addition, support is not always readily available. That is why for this Autism Acceptance Month, we want to focus on the importance of finding community for people with autism and their families.  

How Support Groups Can Help

Support groups are wonderful because they can serve multiple different purposes at once. But helping people connect with others who share similar experiences is what makes them essential for families impacted by autism. Support groups provide an abundance of resources. They also are filled with people who can relate to what you may be feeling. The people in these groups can help give advice for managing the unique ups and downs that come with raising a child on the spectrum. You, in turn, can help others who may have questions. Support groups also provide a wonderful place to share accomplishments along with challenges and create friendships for both you and your child.  

Where to Find Support

In Michigan:  

Michigan Alliance for Families has many resources for families impacted by autism. Parents can search for local events, get information on ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) services, educational services, and other supports. Their Navigators are available by phone to help families find autism assistance throughout Michigan.  

If your child is receiving therapy services, other parents are a great place to start to find those who are understanding of your situation. Ask your child’s BCBA or Therapist if there are some parents you can connect with. Or, stop and strike up a conversation with another parent when you are at the clinic. You never know what kind of friendship may develop! 

In All States and Online: 

Parents Helping Parents offers an online support group that meets once a month to discuss autism resources and stories. As the website explains, this can be a terrific way to connect and learn from parents who may share a similar story to your own. In addition to parents, anyone who works with children on the spectrum is encouraged to check it out.  

Healthline has an abundance of autism resources, ranging from general information to education and government benefit resources. They also specify resources for specific age groups and list multiple support groups and organizations for autistic individuals and their allies.  

Facebook is a place where you can find a group page for about anything. And that does not exclude support groups for parents of autistic children! This can be a wonderful place to meet other parents and discuss ideas, struggles, and accomplishments. Facebook groups are a place you can learn more about the autism community. Healing Haven even has their own private group specially created for parents of clients only. 

The Benefits of Autism Acceptance

An important thing to remember is that an autism diagnosis does not define a child or their family. Additionally, those with autism should never be underestimated. No one knows what the future holds.  

The more parents find a community and the support they need, the more likely they are to accept their new circumstances, which helps communicate autism acceptance to our broader communities. Through acceptance of our personal situations and finding others who understand, we can reduce our stress levels and bring richness to our lives. Additionally, it is important to note that acceptance applies to everyone. Parents who accept their child’s diagnosis can be fully present to support them. In addition, all of us learning to accept our neighbor, nephew, child’s classmate, who has autism, will set an example to others. And simultaneously, we will help create a community for that family to feel included. Through acceptance we help spread empathy and kindness of others’ differences. By living out acceptance we can make an impact far beyond the autism community. 

We hope you have found these resources to be helpful and we encourage you to share any information discovered here with your friends and family. Please feel free to leave a comment if this impacted you in a significant way. Happy Autism Acceptance Month! 

How to Explain Death to a Child with Autism

image of grave headstone, explaining death to a child with autism

Losing a loved one, whether it is expected or not, is hard for anyone to navigate. It’s a process that involves accepting reality, seeking support if necessary, and allowing yourself time to feel natural emotions. So it’s not surprising that explaining the death of a loved one to a child with autism may bring some additional challenges.   

Death is a difficult concept for any child to understand, let alone those who may have a hard time grasping abstract concepts. But death and loss are also unavoidable. That’s why we put together some tips to help your child with autism or special needs understand and deal with the process of losing a loved one.  

Be literal and thorough when explaining the loss 

When explaining the death of a loved to your child with autism, use literal terms. This may help the death make more sense to them.  Avoid using terms such as “passed away”, “gone to sleep”, or “gone to another place”. Using these terms risks your child taking them literally and becoming frustrated when their loved one doesn’t wake up or come back.  

Be direct when you are explaining the passing of a loved one to your child. The more direct you are, the easier it will be for them to understand. Allowing room for questions is key here and answering them honestly to the best of your ability should take priority.  

Keep routines as unchanged as possible 

Change in routines can be particularly challenging for individuals on the spectrum. The death of a loved one is a major life changing event. That’s why it is best to keep everything else within their routine as consistent as possible. People with autism find comfort with routine, and comfort is something we all strive for while grieving. Bedtime routines, playdates with friends, school and therapy may be part of daily routines. You should try your best to maintain these activities if they bring your child peace. 

Involve them  

When helping a child (with or without autism) through loss and grief, it may seem best to exclude them from certain parts of the process, like attending a funeral with an open casket. While it largely depends on your child’s level of cognitive understanding, as well as your expertise in making the best-informed decision for your child, many professional sources suggest that shielding a child with autism from the complexities that come with loss will likely confuse them more. These sources suggest being transparent and asking your child if they would like to be part of a certain aspect (like the funeral, wake, or burial). With this, allow them to ask any questions they might have.   

Another good option, as Alicia says in The Mom Kind, is “to have a celebration of life that they can attend instead of the funeral”. Doing this, Alicia says, “allows involvement without having to see all the grief”.  

Prepare them, if possible  

If you know that a family member or loved one is terminally ill, try and familiarize your child with all the places they will be during this time. This could be places like the hospital, funeral home, or cemetery. Remember to talk about the emotions they will see from others throughout the process. A great way to do this could be through pre-made “social stories”. Social stories use photographs to help explain and show the child what will happen before it happens in real-time. These photographs and descriptions of the photographs can include emotions that they will observe of others. More information on constructing a social story can be found here.  

As we know, children who are on the spectrum can have an especially difficult time dealing with the unexpected, so it is a good idea to make the loss as “expected” as possible. Of course, this may not always be possible and sometimes a loss can be sudden. In this case, you can still do your best to show and tell your child what to expect. Use any photos you have available or pictures online to do this. More ways to prepare your child for loss and help them understand it can be found in this article from Child Bereavement UK. 

Utilize books that help explain loss 

When it comes to bereavement and children with autism, a lot can be gained from books that are specifically made for this life event.  

The 2017 book, I Have a Question about Death: Clear Answers for All Kids, including Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder, is a straight-forward, color-filled read that addresses the questions that concrete thinkers might have surrounding death. It answers them in a simplistic manner. This book has an abundance of good reviews from parents who have had to explain this topic to their children. We recommend it as well!  

Another book that is a good choice for the topic of grief is the interactive workbook, Finding Your Own Way to Grieve by Karla Helbert. This book is unique in that it encourages expressive techniques and exercises to help your child identify and process the feelings that accompany loss. This book is perfect for children and teens to work through on their own. They can also use it with the help of a parent or professional. Find this book here. 

Lastly, How People With Autism Grieve, and How to Help: An Insider Handbook, is best suited for teens and young adults who need security and affirmation after losing a loved one. Though the book only bases suggestions off one person’s unique experience, it can prove helpful in relating to what your child might be feeling emotionally. Find out more about it here. 

Takeaway

We all have different ways of dealing with loss. It’s important to make it known to your child with autism that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to respond to the death of a loved one. The most vital thing, though, is to ensure that your child knows there is support around them and that they have people to talk about it with when they feel sad or confused.  

Your 2023 Autism Reading Guide

Find out about the latest books on autism to add to your reading list!

With the chilly months upon us again, many have started looking for new books to read this year. To help you build out your reading list, we’ve researched the latest books about autism published since our book list in 2020 to create a new autism reading guide for the year. There are several books for parents as well as books to help autistic kids, tweens and teens. Take a look at some of the latest books about autism to add to this year’s reading list.  

For Parents 

We know that navigating the world of autism as a parent can present many unique challenges. Parents of all kids don’t always know how to handle the needs of their children. But having a child with autism adds unique needs that can be difficult to navigate. However, there are several new books about autism released in 2021 and 2022. These are written specifically to be beneficial to you as a parent of a child with autism. 

Navigating Autism: 9 Mindsets For Helping Kids on the Spectrum by Temple Grandin and Deborah Moore 

Joined by psychologist Debra Moore, Dr. Temple Grandin explores various mindsets that are effective when working with kids and young adults on the autism spectrum. You’ll find personal stories from Grandin with anecdotes from parents who have sought her insight. You’ll also discover advice from Moore who has 30+ years of experience in psychological work with kids on the spectrum. Not only is this a good read for parents, but helpful for anyone who impacts the lives of children on the spectrum. Check it out on Amazon. 

We’re Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia 

Writing from personal experience, Washington D.C. reporter and journalist Eric Garcia helps give readers a better understanding of life from the perspective of an autistic person. Through this, he informs them on effective ways to help those on the spectrum. In this book, Garcia breaks down popular myths surrounding autism and uses historical facts to support his claims. For anyone who is interested in learning more about autism to better help a loved one, this book is available here.  

It Takes a Village by Amy Nielsen 

Educator, writer, advocate and mother of four children, including one with ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder, Nielsen uses her experience as a chance to help parents and family members of children with exceptional needs learn to build a strong support system. Nielsen covers how to make these important connections. In addition, she takes time to explain the importance of them in the special needs community. Having an emphasis on family involvement, the book includes worksheets to help readers track their progress in creating a support system for their loved one(s). To find out more about this book, go to It Takes a Village. 

For Kids, Tweens and Teens 

We are thrilled to find so many new books about autism specifically written for kids, tweens and teens! Here are a few released within the past couple of years to build out a reading guide for your tween or teen with autism. 

I am Autism “In the classroom” by Blake Carter Desiree 

Written by a child who has an ADHD and an autism diagnosis, Desiree delves into what school life is like. He goes on to explain how his diagnoses makes life difficult for him as a different learner. This book provides perspective that could be impactful for helping neurotypical children better understand neurodiverse peers. Desiree’s story can also help a neurodiverse child feel more understood and supported in a classroom setting. I Am Autism is available here.

When things get too loud: A story about sensory overload by Anne Alcott 

This book is an excellent option if you are seeking an educational, vividly illustrated story that can be read to both neurodiverse and neurotypical children. This read is created specifically to help children understand and learn emotional regulation skills. It beautifully explains coping strategies for any child who may struggle with overstimulation and sensory-processing issues. This book is highly rated for its inclusiveness and thoughtfulness. Find When Things Get Too Loud here.

This Is Me! I am who I’m meant to be by Amy Pflueger 

With her knowledge and experience, Pflueger, an advocate and mother of two autistic sons, wrote this book primarily for autistic children to relate to and help them better understand why they might be “different” than their peers, as they learn to engage in a world that’s already full of challenges and surprises. It promotes self-acceptance and is also a great source for siblings and classmates of autistic children. It can help them to better acknowledge, accept and understand autism on a deeper level, all while using simplistic and digestible words and pictures. If you’re looking for an awesome, educational story to share with your child, you can find this book here. 

Have you picked up a new favorite book about autism that we don’t have here? Let us know in the comments! 

And we hope you learned about some new books and resources through this year’s autism reading guide. If so, please share it with your community! 

5 Ways to Express Love to Your Child with Autism

express love to child with autism

This post originally appeared in the February 2020 issue of the Autism Alliance of Michigan MiNavigator Newsletter . Written by former Healing Haven BCBA Carita Niemann, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA. 

express love to child with autism

Valentine’s Day is a special time of the year. We often pause and express love to those who are close to us. However, communicating this love to each person in our lives takes a unique form. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages®, everyone expresses and receives love in a unique way. Children with autism are no different! 

In my 10 years of working with children with an autism diagnosis, I have loved the challenge of finding ways to “reinforcer pair” with them. This is applied behavior analytic talk for “loving them in their own unique way.” For some children it can be as simple as providing them with their favorite toy. While for others, this can entail months of chasing them with hand puppets, blasting them up like a rocket, and working up a sweat to evoke one heartful giggle.

As parents and caregivers of children with autism, when we do the work of finding ways to show love to our kids — they return the love tenfold. Just like any relationship, it is always helpful to reflect on new ways to express our affection.   

5 Ways to Express Love to Your Child with Autism

Using the wisdom of The 5 Love Languages®, here are a few ideas of how you can express love to your child with autism this Valentine’s Day:

Words of affirmation

Many children with autism are visual learners. As a result, they respond well to pictures, videos, and written words over spoken words of affirmation. Consider creating a photo book with pictures of significant memories with your child and a few words to describe each memory.

Physical touch

Children with autism seek sensory input in a myriad of ways. Some enjoy the physical touch of loved ones through hugs, tickles, cuddles, and kisses. While on the other hand, others find more enjoyment in the sensory input from the physical environment in which we live. This Valentine’s Day, if Michigan winter allows, try spending time outdoors with your child exploring the cold snow. For extra sensory input, take food coloring with you and watch a winter wonderland turn into modern art!

Quality time

Our children receive demands all day long— “get dressed,” “clean up,” “do this,” “do that,” etc. As adults, it is challenging for us to spend time with a child without placing any demands. However, with some effort, perhaps this is a true gift we can offer your child this Valentine’s Day. Intentionally plan for one hour of praise, imitation, attention, and freedom to be exactly who they are in that moment.

Receiving gifts

Although chocolate and a teddy bear may be the perfect gift for some kids, there are other options too. A beautiful gift for any child could be the gift of a new experience. Depending on your child’s interests and preferences, here are some ideas to consider. You could take them to a sensory friendly movie, bake cookies from scratch, complete a science experiment, visit an indoor trampoline park, or explore the various children’s museums in Michigan. Additionally, find a winter activity in this blog post that would feed their need for sensory or motor input. Then purchase the items and package them together for a gift this Valentine’s Day.

Acts of service

As a twist, the recommendation for this category does not directly involve expressing love to your child with autism. As parents and caregivers of children with special needs, we spend much of our time caring for others. In order to give from a fuller cup, try scheduling time for self-care this Valentine’s Day. As little as 10 minutes of meditation can lead to decreased anxiety, physical pain, and even cardiovascular disease.

Remember, “The number of ways to express love within a love language is limited only by your imagination” (Chapman). Let your creativity soar this Valentine’s Day as you express love to your child with autism – and anyone else in your life!

For additional reading on this subject, our Founder & President Jamie McGillivary, MS, LLP, BCBA, LBA, spoke about it with Metro Parent in 2022 – What Love on the Spectrum Looks Like.

Success Stories of Individuals with Autism

Autism Success Stories
Autism Success Stories

We live in a world where it is so easy to think about the negative values of something or someone. That’s why it’s crucial we prioritize the positive aspects. This is especially true for people with autism. There is a reason it is called autism spectrum – each individual is born with their own unique traits and abilities. Some on the autism spectrum may also have an intellectual disability. However, it’s important to note that around 44% of those diagnosed with autism have average or above average IQ. So why wouldn’t there be several remarkable success stories of individuals with autism?   Here we hope to share some inspiring examples of people who have used their autism diagnosis to excel in their passions.  

Temple Grandin 

Starting out with a more well-known story within the autism community, Temple Grandin is a renowned American author and educator. She speaks on the treatment and behavior of livestock animals, as well as a public speaker and advocate for autism.  

Grandin was not “officially” diagnosed with autism until much later in her life. At this point, she already had a successful career she had paved for herself. She accomplished this despite hurdles that were uncommon for children to have at the time of her upbringing. These included speech delays and social skills challenges.  In the face of these hurdles and the bullying they evoked, Grandin discovered what she was passionate about – science.  

She went on to receive several degrees on the topic and remains teaching to this day. In a quote from one of Grandin’s books, The Autistic Brain: Thinking Across the Spectrum, she explains that autistic kids often have uneven skills. “Parents get so worried about the deficits that they don’t build up the strengths, but those skills could turn into a job,” according to Grandin. She adds that “we need to be a lot more flexible with things,” when it comes to what we label as a “disability.” This way of thinking is at the foundation of Healing Haven’s values. We focus on our clients as kids and teenagers first, not their diagnosis. And we celebrate their unique strengths that come through neurodiversity. 

More stories of successes like Grandin’s are available here.  

Alexis Wineman 

Alexis Wineman is the first woman with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) to participate in the Miss America competition, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Wineman’s story presents the perspective of being the only member of a large family to have an autism diagnosis. Her story focuses on what it is like to grow up with the support of neurotypical siblings. She also highlights the key role that siblings can play in the life of an autistic child.  

Wineman’s sister, Danielle, said her advice for someone who has a sibling with autism is “to become a solid shadow for your sibling.” She points out that “when you’re diagnosed with autism, it’s a diagnosis for the entire family and not just that person.”  

Another sister of Wineman’s, Kimberley, said that it is valuable to “engage them (your sibling with autism) and help them find their niche.” Wineman’s brother, Nicholas, said that he has learned and developed the skill of empathy due to growing up with his sister.  

There can be endless advantages of having a family member with autism. And there is no doubt that a diagnosis can also strengthen a family. Comparable stories to Winemans are available on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website.  

We love hearing these sibling perspectives and agree that an autism diagnosis impacts the entire family. In fact, it’s another one of our company values – to serve the entire family through parent training and counseling for parents and siblings. 

Clay Marzo 

Clay Marzo is an American professional surfer. He was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome as a teenager (before that designation was removed from the diagnostic definition in the DSM-5). Clay is known for his “unique ‘double-jointed’ style of turns and spins”. Marzo has “been hailed for his creativity with the board and his innovative maneuvers,” according to Autism Treatment Evaluation Checklist (ATEC) Sierra Leone.  

 In addition to features in several surfer films, Marzo is also in a documentary, ‘Clay Marzo: Just Add Water‘. The documentary delves into his life as a competitive surfer and a person living with autism spectrum disorder. He also volunteers with the non-profit organization Surfers Healing. The organization creates opportunities for children with autism to experience surfing through surfing camps in the United States and Canada.  

Other stories like Clay’s are in this Lifehack article.  

Dani Bowman 

Dani Bowman is a writer, artist and motivational speaker who is on the autism spectrum. Creating an animation empire, she founded DaniMation Entertainment at age 14 in 2009. She has several professional degrees and is a powerful voice for those on the autism spectrum.  

Bowman is also on Netflix’s ‘Love on the Spectrum,’ where she shares much about her personal interests. In this, she brings attention to the struggles she faces to find a potential life partner. She expresses the complications of not only finding someone who relates to her but who understands and accepts her romantically.  

Further information about Bowman and her work is available on her company website.  

Katie 

Katie is currently a young adult on the autism spectrum. She grew up working closely with Healing Haven’s founder, Jamie McGillivary. Jamie credits her journey working with Katie as what helped shape her into the person she is today. Jamie’s experiences with Kaite as child inspired her career path and the creation of Healing Haven. Katie worked as an administrative assistant for the company and also worked at her local library.  

Katie spoke at a Healing Haven Open House and shared her story with guests that included parents, doctors, and professionals. “I’m here tonight to tell people you shouldn’t underestimate people with disabilities. Through hard work you can live your dreams. Your child could have a bright future. Tonight, I can live my dreams such as being independent, working as an administrative assistant, and now being a public speaker.” You can read more of her story in this blog article, Never Underestimate Individuals with Autism.  

Katie is an inspiration to all at Healing Haven and everyone who knows her personally. 

Raising Expectations

We hope these stories inspire and offer hope for you and your child or loved one with autism.  An autism diagnosis comes with a broad range of potential struggles as well as unique strengths. An average of 28% of our clients at Healing Haven graduate from our services or titrate down to needing lesser services. We work to make sure clients are as well-equipped as possible to thrive in their educational journey and prepare them for life beyond school.  

There are many success stories of individuals with autism we should celebrate. But even if your child may need extra support, we all can work together to highlight the possibilities and help raise expectations for those impacted by autism. Incredible things can be born from the “bounds” of difference. 

We would love to hear any stories you might have to share. Please feel free to comment below! 

Winter Activities for Kids with Autism

child playing in snow, winter activity ideas
child playing in snow, winter activity ideas

We can all probably agree—winter is often hard to get through. Cold, icy days nix the option for frequent outdoor play. If your kiddo needs some cabin fever relief, we’ve compiled some DIY winter activities for kids with autism. These projects are ridiculously easy to assemble and extremely cost-effective—it really doesn’t take much for kids to have fun! Many of these activities require similar materials that you can buy in bulk and have on hand. Additionally, these winter activities for kids with autism promote sensory input, social interaction, and fine and gross motor skills. 

Indoor Winter Activities

Create fake snow

This is a sensory activity that incorporates textures. It’s great for kids who seek tactile sensory experiences. All you need is some shaving cream and baking soda for some fun with fake snow. Squirt some shaken shaving cream into a bowl or plastic bin. Add baking soda until the mixture reaches a moldable consistency. Kids will love squishing their hands in the “snow,” building mini snow people, and creating little winter wonderland worlds.

Our Director of Occupational Therapy, Amanda Alfery, OTR/L, shares the importance of sensory activities like this one. “The combination of soft, squishy textures with the coarseness of the baking soda provides a variety of input to the tactile system that is both alerting and regulating.” She also suggests having your child create the snow with you, which increases processing and executive functioning skills. “For example, have your child measure and/or pour out the ingredients with you and stir them together to combine. This is a great naturalistic opportunity to incorporate fine motor skills, tool use, and bilateral integration as your child stirs while stabilizing the bowl.”

Materials Required:

  • Plastic bowl or bin
  • Shaving cream
  • Baking soda

Frozen treasure hunt

This winter activity only requires a little bit of prep! If your child loves “heavy work,” or activities that involve applying and/or receiving pressure, be sure to have them try this. According to Amanda, “heavy work is organizing for the proprioceptive system, helps your child integrate new information about their body’s position in space to develop body awareness, and incorporates pressure regulation skills.”

To create, fill a plastic tub with water and place items in it such as toys, plastic snowflakes, pine cones, or other winter-themed objects. Place the bin in the freezer overnight until it’s frozen solid. The next day, remove the ice block from the bin by running warm water over the bottom. Place the block in a larger container and have kids “dig” around for the items. Digging tools can be silverware, toy hammers, or any other child-safe item. Picking at ice keeps kids engaged and motivated to find the treasures! For safer tool options, Amanda suggests your child use basters or eyedroppers to dispense warm water across the ice to melt it. “This provides excellent natural opportunities to develop fine motor skills, pincher grasp and finger strengthening as well as visual motor skills. Using motivating characters, figures or toys will be more likely to hold your child’s attention.”

Materials Required:

  • Plastic tub
  • Plastic toys, snowflakes, foam cut outs, pine cones, berries, anything winter themed
  • Silverware, toy hammers, eyedroppers, basters

Make snow ice cream

There’s no better way to utilize fresh snow than making it into a tasty treat. Collect 8 to 12 cups of clean snow. Add vanilla extract and condensed milk and stir into snow. Add more snow if needed to reach an ice cream-like consistency. Scoop into bowls or cones and add toppings!

Materials Required:

  • 8-12 cups clean snow
  • Vanilla extract (or other flavorings, like chocolate syrup)
  • Condensed milk
  • Toppings such as candy, sprinkles, crushed cookies, etc.

Build an Indoor Fort

Gather some comfy pillows and blankets to help your child build a relaxing space of their own. You can even create a special bin/area full of your child’s favorite comforting items for this specific purpose. Incorporate reading, pajamas, a movie or even a nap into this- everything is better in a fort! 

Sensory Winter Activities

Squish bags

Sensory squish bags are a hit for kiddos who love squishy things. On the plus side, they’re super easy and cheap to make—a perfect winter activity idea for kids with autism. Fill a sealable plastic bag with hair gel and add snowflake glitter, beads, confetti, water beads, buttons, beans, or anything else that would entertain your child. You can also seal the edges of the bag with patterned packing tape to ensure the bag won’t open. Check out this snowman sensory bag to stick with the winter theme.

Materials needed:

  • Sealable plastic bag, any size desired
  • Glitter, beads, confetti, water beads, buttons, beans
  • Clear hair gel
  • Food coloring (just a drop or two)
  • Patterned packing tape

Sensory bin 

Sensory bins are great for fine motor skill practice. Fill a bin with cotton balls, foam snowflakes and snow people. Give your child fine motor tools such as plastic tweezers and ball scoopers and let them practice picking up items. Or they can just use their hands!

Materials needed:

  • Plastic bin
  • Cotton balls
  • Foam snowflakes, snow people, other winter themed shapes
  • Plastic tweezers, ball scoopers, anything that promotes fine motor skills (such as this tool kit)

Sensory bottle

Many kids with autism are entertained by just watching sensory-pleasing items with color, texture, and shine. Sensory bottles are yet another winter activity for kids with autism with very simple assemblage required. Find a clear water bottle with a screw-on cap. Next, put wintery glitter and snowflake confetti in the bottle. Use a drop or two of blue food coloring if desired, fill with water, screw the cap on, and shake it up. (Sealing the cap with glue is a good idea for kiddos who might be tempted to open it.)

Materials needed:

  • Clear water bottle
  • Glitter, snowflake confetti, etc.
  • Food coloring
  • Glue

Outdoor Winter Activities

Snow maze

After a big snow, there’s often lots of sledding or building snow people. But have you ever tried making a snow maze? Create a twisty path in the snow with your feet (or use a shovel) and pack the snow down. You can make one big maze or multiple small ones to keep kids entertained and active for a while.

Tic Tac Toe in snow

Use rocks, leaves, sticks, paint, or pinecones to create a Tic Tac Toe board in the snow. Maybe organize a family tournament!

Paint snow

In the midst of a white wonderland, color is pleasing to the eye. Have kids create their own colorful outdoor artwork by creating a frame with sticks and painting within it. Be sure to use non-toxic, water-based paint to avoid clothing stains. Using jars to hold the paint works well, as you can sturdily plant them in the snow.

Materials needed:

  • Non-toxic, water-based paint
  • Jars
  • Sticks or rocks
  • Paintbrushes

Kindness rocks

Based off The Kindness Rocks movement, this activity is a fantastic way for kids to create messages of kindness. And with all the negativity in the world, we need all the kindness we can get. On winter days with less or no snow, have kids collect smooth rocks. Clean the rocks. On the back of the rock, write or paint #TheKindnessRocks project. Then decorate and help kids write kind messages on the front. Seal with an outdoor sealant spray to prevent fading.

Materials needed:

Social Activities

Parallel Play

Encouraging your child to give or share a toy with a playmate can be an effective play technique, if appropriate. If this is not something easily attainable for your child, even inviting a peer over and having them sit next to your child in the same room while engaging in a separate activity can benefit your child’s social skill development.  

Games

Any type of game, whether it be a simple game of Simon Says or a board game, that promotes imitation, turn-taking and cooperation can be a great way to get social with your child. Remember, it doesn’t matter so much if the game is played correctly- it’s all about participation and fun! 

Be Mindful of Screen Time

While it may be challenging to reduce your child’s electronics use, it is important to monitor and be aware of how much time they are spending “plugged in”, especially during the winter when it is easy for them and you to lose track of time while being indoors. Instead, encourage other activities like reading a book or putting together a puzzle.  For more ideas on managing screen time, check out this post.

We hope these winter activities for kids with autism provide some fun during these long cold days, while also providing sensory and fine motor input. We’d love to hear about your experiences as well. Please comment below!

Holiday Stress Management Tips for Autism Families

mom stressed wrapping presents holiday stress management tips
mom stressed wrapping presents

The holiday season can be full of wonderful activities, parties and family gatherings. But there is also an added level of stress during the holidays because of the extra “hustle and bustle”. Shopping, baking, decorating, wrapping and hosting – how much can we add to our plates? And when you are also parenting a child with autism or other special needs, the demands of the holidays can become overwhelming. With input from our Counselors on staff, we’ve compiled some holiday stress management tips to help you enjoy this season.

Holiday Stress Management Tips

1. Acceptance

Something that may seem obvious is the ability to accept your child as they are and be flexible for their needs. These can be huge drivers to reducing your overall stress. Mentally prepare yourself that during this busy season your child may engage in more self-soothing behaviors to cope with the changes in their routine and added stress. They also may not want to interact with all the extra family and friends that you see this time of year. Giving your child some control and choices may help as well. You can offer controlled choices about the time they go and leave from gatherings, if they want to go somewhere or where some decorations should go.

2. Flexibility

Also look at your own expectations around the holidays and try to be more flexible.  Realize that it’s OK that your child may not feel the same way about the holidays as other kids. Your child may not like the traditional holiday activities, so stop and ask yourself the motivation behind doing something (like taking a picture with Santa). If the motivation is that it’s a “childhood tradition”, it’s not worth having your child stress out, panic or go into a full meltdown getting near Santa. And develop a mindset of being flexible. If you have to make a last minute change because your child becomes over stimulated, that’s not only supporting your child and their needs, but also a self-care practice for you!

3. Set Boundaries

You know your child and how and where they are at their best. If your entire family is gathering at Grandma’s house there are ways you can still participate. Plan to stay for an hour so that you leave before your child reaches their sensory maximum. It may be helpful to communicate ahead of time the boundaries you are setting with your family members to avoid any misunderstanding. And thanking them for understanding the choices you need to make will help them to feel appreciated for being flexible.

You could also plan to arrive to gatherings early in order to allow your child to slowly acclimate to the number of people showing up in real-time, which could help make them feel less overwhelmed.

4. Say No

With so many invitations, activities and options presented to us during the holidays, we can end up finding ourselves in situations that may take away from the enjoyment. Furthermore, saying yes to an event when you actually want to say no can lead to feeling overwhelmed and also experiencing resentment. If you know your child will not do well at someone’s house, you can kindly decline an invitation. Remember, all you need to say is “I am sorry, we cannot make it – thank you for the invitation.” You do not need to give a reason or explain why you cannot make it to the event. It can be so hard to say no, but if it will reduce the stress in your life, you need to do it for your own sanity.

5. Pace It Out

Decorating your home for Christmas can be fun for some, but sensory overload for others. If you gradually get your decorations out, your child can acclimate to the new lights, smells and sounds slowly. Progressively introducing new decor into the living areas of the house allows your child to gradually adapt to the environment. Otherwise you risk overloading them with the changes all at one time.

It may also be useful to take time to familiarize your child with the destination or venue of any gathering as well as the guests that will be attending. This can be done through photos or preparing a photo album they can hold and refer to during the event, as well as reviewing it beforehand. This can help reduce the chance of surprises and help them feel comfortable in knowing the environment and people they will see.  

6. Find Balance

An important holiday stress management tip is to work in some quiet, soothing activities with your kids to help them balance all the additional sensory input that comes during this time of year. And those quiet moments can benefit you too. Furthermore, find balance in the ability to indulge in the yummy treats of the season without feeling guilty. It is common for healthy eating habits to take a backseat this time of year. But if you can balance out the sweets indulgence by increasing your water intake each day, you may feel more positive about enjoying the holiday treats.

It’s also important to make sure to set some time aside to indulge in self-care activities that help you relax, have fun, or feel energized. These activities could include talking with a friend, going for a walk, reading, listening to music, or whatever else you enjoy. The important part of self-care is not so much what you do – it’s just that you do it.  

7. Keep Structure

You and your child have schedules – daily, nightly, weekly routines. Keep as many things consistent as possible. For example, if you have self-care activities such as attending a work out class or getting your nails done, keep that commitment even during the busyness of the holidays. If your child has a nightly routine of taking a bath before bed, leave the holiday event with enough time to allow your kiddo to complete their routine. Keeping your typical agendas will set you and your family up for success during this often hectic time. And if a change in your child’s routine is unavoidable, creating a holiday visual schedule can help them prepare and process what is coming. Here’s another great resource for holiday social stories and visual schedules.

8. Avoid Perfectionism

So many caregivers are perfectionists by nature and the holidays can intensify the desire for things to be “just right.” Though this may be difficult, try and focus on the big picture of the holiday season by avoiding getting caught up in the little details. Give yourself permission to be less than perfect, write it down or say it out loud “things do not need to be perfect this holiday season!”

9. Consider Dietary Restrictions

As you likely already know, autistic individuals are more likely to have dietary restrictions than others. This is something to be aware and mindful of, as well as make known to others so that your child isn’t excluded in that sense. Even if there are no dietary restrictions, having preferred food items around for your child can be helpful and effective in helping them remain calm and comfortable in stressful situations. With this said, also be mindful of extreme amounts of sugar available and accessible, as this could also heighten stress and anxiety during the holidays. 

10. Sleep!

This is a small one and may seem somewhat of a cliché, but getting enough sleep is so important for stress management especially around the holidays. With all of the things we have to get done during the holidays, sleep often gets neglected. But we also know that lack of sleep makes most people more vulnerable to irritability, mood changes, etc. Protect your time to sleep by prioritizing what needs to get done today verses what can wait until tomorrow so that you aren’t sacrificing sleep to get things done. Also do your best to ensure that your child gets enough sleep as well, as this can make a huge difference in their energy and behavior. 

Some of these holiday stress management tips may seem easier said than done. But we hope that you find at least a few of them helpful and easy to incorporate into your holiday season. Even if it’s just hearing that you CAN say no and set boundaries. Doing so just may lead to a less stressful and more enjoyable season!

And if you find your stress level increasing into the new year, our Counseling program helps parents of kids with autism, as well as children and teens on the spectrum. Contact us for more info.

If you found these holiday stress management tips helpful, please share it with others!

Thankfulness and the Benefits of Gratitude

benefits of gratitude

As we enter into this season typically focused on gratitude and thankfulness, many may be wondering with the past nearly three years we’ve had, “What is there to be thankful for?” And for many, it has been a time of increased stress, financial strain and even significant loss. We recognize that. But now more than ever it is important to stop to consider what you have to be grateful for. Whether it’s your health, your friends and family, career, your home, or something else, we hope you can identify at least one thing. So even with all the uncertainty in our world, we want to share this important information on the benefits of gratitude.

The Benefits of Gratitude

The effects of practicing gratitude have been studied for roughly 15 years. As detailed below, practicing gratitude can directly impact our stress levels. One of our core beliefs here at Healing Haven is the importance of stress management for parents and caregivers, as well as for our staff. Whether you write thank you notes, keep a gratitude journal, or give a verbal expression of thankfulness to someone, you will experience many benefits both physically and mentally. And the practice of gratitude can have long term benefits throughout the year.

Sleep Better

Many research studies show that having an attitude of gratitude helps individuals have better quality of sleep. People experience falling asleep faster and staying asleep longer. So if quality sleep is a struggle, try writing down specific things you are grateful for. Taking a few minutes to do this before bed can have a positive impact on your sleep.

Reduce Stress

Research reveals that people who practice gratitude are better able to manage the stressors that come in life. It could be that getting more sleep helps you handle stress better. Or it could be the dopamine that is released in your brain when you express thankfulness. In our line of work with individuals with autism and their families, it may seem hard to be thankful when many areas of life are much more challenging. However, if you’re able to recognize and be thankful for the little things, you’ll experience the impact of grateful mindset.

Ease Depression 

There are specific gratitude exercises that can help ease depression. Experiments asking people to take part in an exercise to list three good moments or things at the end of each day reveals improvements in depression and overall happiness. Gratitude can reduce numerous toxic emotions like envy, resentment, regret and frustration, leading to an improved outlook on life.

Healthier Body 

Researchers asked people how likely the were to participate in healthy behaviors like going to the doctor, exercise and healthy eating. They also asked them to rate their levels of gratitude. As reported in the journal Personality and Individual Difference, the researchers found correlations between healthy behaviors and gratitude, suggesting that expressing thanks has a connection with people taking care of their bodies. Stronger Self-esteem

Studies reveal that gratitude can reduce social comparisons. Grateful people are less likely to be jealous or envious of others. A contributing factor in lower self-esteem is being resentful toward others who have more money or better jobs. While grateful people are able to appreciate other people’s accomplishments and have security in their own self-worth.

There are so many benefits to having a grateful way of life that we can’t possibly list them here. This blog post from Happier Human lists out 31 benefits of gratitude!

Incorporating Gratitude Into Your Life

Are you realizing you need to practice more gratitude in your life? If you’re looking for easy ways to get started, we’ve got you covered with these tips:

  1. Start and end your day with it. Say out loud one thing you’re grateful for in the morning and one thing right before you go to sleep.
  2. Write it down. Keep a gratitude journal – noting one or more things you’re grateful for on a daily basis and write down your positive thoughts throughout the day.
  3. Switch it up. If you become aware of the negative of something or someone, switch it in your brain to a positive.
  4. Share it with others. Give at least one compliment or “thank you” daily. This can either be directly to someone or simply about your surroundings (I love how quiet the office is today.) And if you thank a coworker for a job well done, it may spread to others to recognize great work.
  5. Spare us the drama. Commit to not complaining, criticizing or gossiping for one week. This exercise may help you to realize how much energy you were spending on negative thoughts.

We hope these ideas help spark more gratitude in your life. But even with trying to be grateful, you find yourself still struggling, please reach out for help! The numbers of people experiencing anxiety, depression and stress is at a new high due to what’s happening in our world. Don’t go through this alone. We have qualified counselors on staff, or reach out to a friend for support. Remember – it’s OK to ask for help!