Shelter in Place Resources for Parents

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We are in a rapidly-changing, unprecedented time in our world as this global health crisis spreads throughout our country. As more drastic measures are taken each day to slow the spread of COVID-19 (Coronaviurs), to “flatten the curve”, we all are scrambling to figure out this new normal. Kids are out of school, many are people working remotely, or have been temporarily laid off. And in our case, our clients are not receiving therapy until we can roll out some support to our families through telehealth services.

So what are we to do as parents, caregivers and professionals? We’ve compiled a list of resources for parents to help you navigate this extraordinary reality we are now in.

Talking with Your Kids About Coronavirus

First, some of your kids may be asking specifically about coronavirus, or the results of it – why they are not in school or going to therapies? Here are several resources to help.

  • PBS Kids has tools to help you talk with your children about this novel virus.
  • This Psychology Today article provides some great resources and tips for explaining this global health crisis to children with autism.
  • This Washington Post article is written by a Mom of with an autistic 8 year old son.
  • And for those who may be experiencing anxiety, here is some help for addressing that too!

Creating New Routines

We all know how important routines are for kids with autism, Down syndrome, and even typical kids! And now those routines are turned upside down. So here is a free downloadable routine schedule that you can customize for your child and situation. And here are some timely activities from the same resource – A Next Comes L – with activities to do at home in the month of April.

Homeschooling

One of the biggest changes the Coronavirus has brought on us is the closing down of schools. Parents are now tasked with continuing the education of their kids! For some that may come easy, but for most, it’s a whole new world, especially if your child has an IEP! So, in addition to whatever your child’s school is providing, we’ve compiled a list of resources that address this new educational reality facing parents. (*Note: Full disclosure, I have a daughter in 3rd grade. She also has Down syndrome. We already tried a few of these resources. I highly recommend you check them out!) If you’re wondering how to structure their day, or need worksheets to keep them busy, or want some interactive online lessons, and more, take a look at these tools.

Educational Tools:

And here are some fun entertaining, while educational resources – watching webcams of animals at the National Zoo, or of sea life at the Georgia Aquarium.

Therapy Resources

If your child is not receiving their typical therapies like OT and PT, definitely check out The OT Toolbox. From fine motor activities to sensory processing resources, they have some amazing supports in their Parent Toolbox! And OT/picky eater expert and blogger at Your Kids Table provides some survival tips for parents during this social distancing time.

Get Moving

Being cooped up inside all day every day will make anyone go stir crazy. So you definitely will need to work in some time to get moving. Whether you go for a walk or play in the backyard, or use one of these online resources, these are great tools to keep kids moving during this self quarantine period. Stretch, move and bring a sense of calm through yoga from Cosmic Kids. A favorite “brain break” in many schools, GoNoodle, can help get the wiggles out to focus on their next task. And Fluency and Fitness combines academics with movement, reinforcing learning, while getting up and moving!

Specific to Autism

In addition to the social story linked above, here’s a list of activities to keep a teenager with autism busy while they are out of school. And above we included resources from A Next Comes L. Sign up for her newsletter to get lots of great resources during this Coronavirus shelter-in-place!

We have some additional resources we will be providing our client families in the coming weeks, too. We are developing a stress management webinar to equip parents during this understandably stressful time. Additionally, we’re planning on a companion stress management blog post. So stay tuned for that!

We are in this together and are developing unique ways to support our community and network during this unique and trying time.

If you found this information helpful, we’d love it if you’d share it with your friends and family!

2019 Gift Guide for Kids with Autism

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As we enter the holiday season, we want to take some of the stress out of gift-giving, especially when it comes to kids and teens with autism. Last year we wrote a post with a variety of gift ideas from our team of BCBA’s and Occupational Therapists. So, this year we are expanding on that list and going back to our expert staff for more of their top picks. We also had a parent submit her own child-tested gift ideas! Read on for some great ideas if your holiday shopping list includes a child/teen with autism or other developmental disability.

Sensory Input

Textured sensory balls provide a variety of benefits for sensory seeking kiddos. Recommended by one of our BCBAs, textured sensory balls are great for fidgeting, tactile input, stress and anxiety relief and more!

A big favorite with the kids in our clinics – water beads! These are great fun for sensory input, fine motor, sorting, colors and more! 

This Pin Art Game is awesome for sensory seekers. It encourages creativity, while providing tactile input. And the bonus is there is no mess to clean up!

Giant Exercise Balls are great for kids who have trouble sitting still. Using these balls not only can help kids focus, but also works their core at the same time. They are available many places, but this one from National Autism Resources is guaranteed not to burst and is a popular one with OTs and therapists.

Get Moving

Called “River Stones”, these varying sizes of plastic stepping stones help children work on balance and coordination. They are a great get moving gift for indoor fun during our cold winter months here in Michigan!

Fine Motor

Our team highly recommends Magna Tiles. They are popular among many of our clients and work on fine motor, spatial and problem solving skills.

Social Skill Development

For older kids and teens who could use help in developing social skills, another one of our BCBAs recommends some social games available from National Autism Resources.  And for preschool and elementary age, Hoot Owl Hoot is an award-winning cooperative game. It’s fun while teaching colors, turn-taking, strategy, shared decision making and more!

Encouraging Academics

If you’re looking to help your child with academic skills, our team recommends the “I Can Read” books to support readers at their individual level. With a variety of subjects/character themes at various reading levels, there are plenty of options to find something your child will enjoy, while encouraging them to practice their reading skills.

Stocking Stuffers

Another one of our therapists recommends any kind of slime for great sensory input. And if your child loves playing with bubble wrap and fidgets, this Dimpl is a fun cause-and-effect, sensory toy for all ages.

The holidays are also a great time to restock the sensory bin with fidgets. If your child likes a variety of different items for sensory play, this Fidget Set gives you lots of options – and will definitely fill out their stocking!

Don’t Forget the Parents!

If you’re a grandparent, aunt, uncle or friend of family impacted by autism, let’s not forget the parents! They juggle so much with their child’s diagnosis and are often under additional stress. Consider a gift that encourages self-care, like a mani/pedi or a massage. Many parents of autistic children and teens could use the gift of your time for a night out without the kids.

We hope these ideas help you find not only a gift that is helpful for your child, grandchild, niece or nephew, but also something they will have fun with! For our local Metro Detroit families who want to “buy local”, a great option for many of these toys and games listed above, is Toyolgy Toys. They have several locations as well as website ordering available!

If you have a gift idea for someone with autism, please share it in the comments below!

If you found this information helpful, we’d love it if you’d share it with your network!

Supporting Autism Families: Meet Our New Social Worker

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One of the unique services we provide here at Healing Haven is counseling for a variety of people impacted by an autism diagnosis. Our counselors support autism families through working directly with individuals with autism, as well as their parents and siblings.

Navigating an autism diagnosis can be complex for parents, as well as for some children and teens who feel different compared to their peers. Some may also struggle with social skills and interacting with others, or need help in understanding and controlling their emotions. We did a previous post on counseling and autism, featuring our onsite therapist Danielle. And now we are excited to announce the newest addition to our team, Mallory Meter. Mallory is a social worker who started providing counseling services for autism families here at Healing Haven in September 2019.

Mallory worked in the Chicago area for the past four years. She has a Bachelors of Arts from the University of Notre Dame where she majored in psychology. She then received her Masters of Social Work from The School of Social Service and Administration at University of Chicago. 

In preparation for her transition here to Healing Haven, we sat down with Mallory to get to know her better. Learn about her experience and approach to therapy, and how she might support you and/or your child:

HH:  Why did you want to work with kids with autism / special needs?

MM: I have always been passionate about working with children. I am a strong believer that children can teach us so much about ourselves and how to be better human beings. This is especially the case when it comes to children impacted by autism and developmental differences. While these children can face a number of challenges, they also carry so much creativity, potential, and strength. Being able to face challenges alongside these children, to learn from their resilience, and to witness their growth and change is endlessly exciting and a true honor for me.

HH: Describe your career background and other experiences you have that are a benefit to the work you will do here at Healing Haven.

MM: My first job out of graduate school was at a Chicago-area therapeutic day school for children with autism called Giant Steps. This role provided me with extensive exposure to interventions aimed at promoting social-emotional development in this population. Additionally, I learned how to navigate the world of public schools and IEPs. As a result of working closely with a multidisciplinary team made up of speech and language pathologists, occupational therapists, BCBAs and special education teachers, this role provided indispensable opportunities to learn new and creative ways to intervene with and support children impacted by autism spectrum disorder.

Following this role, I worked as a social worker on the inpatient psychiatry unit at Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago where I also completed my training practicum in graduate school. Here I was able to further develop my understanding of a range of psychiatric diagnoses and strengthen my skills in providing evidence-based treatments at an individual, family, and group therapy level. Most recently, I had moved into a new position within the Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and the Division of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics where I provided case management, parent training, and therapeutic/educational support to families and children impacted by ASD, Down Syndrome, Intellectual Disability, and a range of additional learning differences. More than anything, my time at Lurie Children’s Hospital confirmed my passion for working with children and adolescents impacted by developmental differences, especially those impacted by comorbid mental health concerns.

HH: What motivates you coming to work every day?

MM: My favorite part of this work is partnering with children and families. I love helping them feel understood, accepted, and supported in a way they haven’t before. The moments when a caregiver or child communicates in some way these feelings of being seen, accepted, and supported are what motivates me to come to work everyday. Coffee is always helpful too…

HH: Describe the types of counseling you will do with clients at Healing Haven. Skills you will work on, tools you will incorporate to help clients grow, etc.

MM: I hope to promote a wide range of skills and areas of growth in my work at Healing Haven. These include emotional identification and regulation skills, perspective taking and social skills, and coping/distress tolerance skills. I would describe my therapeutic lens as trauma-informed, strengths-based, relational and family systems-informed. Attachment therapy is also a guiding framework in my work. Within this broader stance, I pull from a number of evidence-based treatments including: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Brief Solutions Focused Therapy to name a new. Additionally, a few specific tools I love to utilize in my work with autism families and children include mindfulness, Collaborative and Proactive Solutions, and Social Thinking strategies.

HH: What is a favorite memory of working with a client?

MM: My favorite memory was being staffed with a little guy on my caseload at Giant Steps. We had a field trip to a pool. He had previously been extremely scared (emphasis on extremely) of water. After a ton of work he was able to get in the pool and even go on the water slide! As a result, I’ll never forget his smile that day.

And here some fun things to know about Mallory 😊

  • Favorite food: Bread, bread, bread
  • Radio Station/Music on iPod: NPR or my own music
  • Favorite movie: Wild
  • How do you relax/de-stress outside of work: Spending time with family, yoga, reading (I’m a huge bookworm!)
  • Drink: Coffee
  • Favorite book: I don’t think I can pick just one!

As you can see, Mallory is a great asset to have on our team. We are excited to have her here helping autism families! If you are a parent in need of help for yourself, or your child is struggling with things related to their autism, ADHD, depression or anxiety, we are here to help! Simply fill out the Contact Us form and we will get back with you!

Autism Parenting: Help for Stressed Relationships

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Having a child with autism, Down syndrome or any other type of special needs brings all kinds of new realities into your life. Some can be amazing – like gaining a whole new community of people you may have never met before. But other things can definitely add stress to the lives of autism parents. From more doctor appointments to navigating special education and IEPs, to scheduling therapies – all of these new realities can put stress on your relationships with your spouse, your family members and your friends.

With the help of Allie Young-Rivard, LLPC, we’ve compiled some information and resources to help autism parents with relationships that may be under stress.

Marriage – The odds are NOT stacked against you

There’s an often-quoted statistic that the divorce rate among parents who have a child with autism is around 80%. Or it’s at least quoted as being higher than the general population. This outdated figure was based on older, smaller studies, which can often lead to inaccurate data.

The Interactive Autism Network, which connects the autism community and researchers, breaks down the updated research findings in their article Under a Looking Glass: What’s the Truth About Autism and Marriage?:

“Researchers in Baltimore investigated the supposed 80 percent divorce rate for parents of a child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Unlike other studies, this one was particularly large – using data from almost 78,000 parents, 913 of whom had a child with autism – and included families from across the United States. The bigger the study, the less likely the results are due to chance or something unique about the pool of people studied. The researchers, from Kennedy Krieger Institute and Johns Hopkins University, found no evidence of an 80 percent divorce rate.9 In fact, parents of children with autism split up as often as parents of children who don’t have autism, according to their research.”

We hope this new information encourages you that even though you may face some stress in your marriage due to your child’s diagnosis, it doesn’t automatically mean your marriage is doomed because of autism. If your marriage is struggling, ask for help before it’s too late.

When Divorce Does Happen

Even with this hopeful news for couples who have an autistic child, there are still a lot of marriages under stress. Deciding to divorce is complex and difficult. This life-altering course can cause intense anxiety. It can also cause worry about how the decision to separate will affect your children. For parents of children with special needs, the choice to separate and/or divorce is particularly difficult because of the added needs and responsibilities.

Support for Your Child

Many children on the autism spectrum have difficulty adapting to change. So naturally it is common for parents to worry how their child will acclimate to their new reality, routine and living situation. It is important to prepare your child for the changes that are going to happen.  Providing your child with a visual schedule that outlines the custody arrangements will help them know what to expect. Having consistency at both houses will also be helpful. Work together to have a similar calendar at both locations that shows your child’s daily routines and notes what house he or she will be at. By using tools that prepare them you can help them understand their new routine and hopefully reduce some anxiety. Additionally, talking about the schedule ahead of time to avoid surprises is beneficial for everyone involved.

Another helpful idea is to create a social story explaining the changes and what to expect. If your child receives ABA therapy, talk with their BCBA about creating a personalized social story to prepare them for their new routine and the changes in their family situation.

Lastly, depending on the age of the child and their communication ability, seeking a therapist who specializes in adjustment could be helpful. We have counselors on our team who work with children and teens on the autism spectrum. Seeing an experienced therapist can help children process their new family dynamics and adjust to the changes. Please contact us if you would like to pursue counseling for your child.

Co-parenting

It is important for a divorced couple to remember that is it about the child (or children). The definition of co-parenting is:

Verb; (especially of a separated or unmarried couple) share the duties of parenting (a child).

Keeping your focus on doing what is best for your child can help both parents stay on track and follow through on maintaining routines. Establishing and upholding proper communication with your former spouse will ensure support and success for your child. If communication with your ex is difficult, seek out family counseling and/or individual therapy if your former spouse is unwilling to join you. Counseling can help you learn how best to work together for the common interest of your child.

Family or Friends Who Don’t Understand Your Child’s Unique Needs

When your child is diagnosed with a disability it can often feel like you’re alone. Those close to you may not understand what you’re going through as you navigate therapies, doctors, support at school and situations that are difficult for your child. Some may spend less time with you and your family. This often stems from not really understanding the diagnosis. When a family member or close friend expresses criticism of your child’s behavior, or of you as a parent, it’s important to address it.

You can first try to explain what your child’s diagnosis means, how it impacts them medically, emotionally, behaviorally, etc. Explain the therapies and medical treatments they are receiving and why. Talk about what their education situation is like and how it benefits them. If your child has sensory issues, repetitive behaviors or stimming, difficulty with change, etc, it’s good to take time to explain them to your family. Being open and honest can help your loved ones understand and hopefully lead to support from them. 

Is It Time To Set Boundaries?

If, however, after explaining all of these things, they isolate you or stop talking with you, first know that it’s not you or your child. It is their inability to be sensitive and understanding of differences and supportive of those with unique needs. If you are facing criticism or lack of understanding toward your child, you may need to establish boundaries. This may mean limiting time spent at family gatherings, or not taking your kids to their grandparents’ house.

Whatever the situation you are facing, it’s important to remove yourself from unsupportive relationships and find support from others in similar situations. Setting boundaries with unsupportive family members can be tough, but putting your mental health and the child’s well being first is beneficial for everyone. Additionally, a professional counselor can help you develop coping skills to navigate strained relationships, as well as help you process your own feelings regarding your child’s diagnosis.

We hope you’ve found this information and ideas for autism parents helpful as you encounter stress in various relationships. And if you find you need some outside help and perspective, please reach out to us!

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The Benefits of a MiABLE Account for Your Child with a Disability

Raising and caring for a child with a disability oftentimes comes with added expenses. Things like extra medical costs, therapies, academic tutoring, assistive technology and much more come into play. Getting help to cover these additional expenses can be difficult. This is especially so when you have an average income and don’t qualify to receive government support for your child with a disability. When thinking about your child’s future and whether they will be able to support themselves, it can become overwhelming for parents to plan for, let alone manage the here and now.

The state an individual lives in and the disability they have largely determines the financial rules and restrictions they must follow. A bill was passed in certain states that requires employees to pay disabled workers at least minimum wage. Still, many disabled people must follow intricate rules to receive the benefits they need to successfully care for themselves.

So how can a person with a disability pay for all their daily living expenses like housing, food, education, transportation, ect., if they can’t earn a living wage, or are unable to? And on top of that, they risk losing any government benefits if they have “too much” money in their name.

Enter the ABLE Act

Thankfully, Congress passed the ABLE (Achieving a Better Life Experience) Act in 2014. The ABLE Act amends Section 529 of the Internal Revenue Service Code of 1986 to create tax-free savings accounts for individuals with disabilities. Here is the official description of the intent of the ABLE Act from the ABLE National Resource Center:

“By making tax-free savings accounts available to cover qualified disability-related expenses (including education, housing and transportation), this law aims to ease financial strains faced by individuals with disabilities. Additionally, the funds contributed into these accounts will not negatively impact the person’s eligibility for public benefits, such as Medicaid. The funds in these accounts don’t replace benefits provided through private insurances, the Medicaid program, the Supplemental Security Income program, the beneficiary’s employment and other sources. Instead, the funds supplement these benefits.”

A Powerful Tool for Michigan Families

Michigan established our MiABLE program back in 2016. We had the representative from the Michigan Department of Treasury here in our clinics to familiarize families on the benefits of having a MiABLE account for their child with a disability. Scott de Varona shared all the specifics of how the program works, how to set up an account and answered a plethora of questions from parents.

Here are a few of the highlights:

  • To be eligible, individuals must become disabled before the age of 26. They can prove their eligibility one of three ways: eligible for SSI or SSDI because of a disability (but do not have to be drawing on those benefits), have a condition listed on SSA Compassionate Allowances List, or self-certification with a physician diagnosis and documentation.
  • Qualified Disability Expenses (QDE) include much more than the original 529 College Savings Plans. MiABLE accounts can be used to pay for the expenses of everyday living for the person with the disability. QDE’s include: education, housing, transportation, employment training programs, assistive technology, personal support services, healthcare and medical costs, financial management services, legal fees, and end-of-life expenses.
  • The maximum contribution per year is $17,000. And account holders can have up to $100,000 in an ABLE account before their SSI benefits may be suspended. Once the account falls back below the $100,000, SSI benefits can resume.
  • ABLE assets are excluded for Medicaid eligibility. There is no asset threshold as there is for SSI benefits.
  • Investment options include a range of conservative to aggressive stock. Additionally, for those who want easy access to use their account now, there is a money market savings account with a debit card option.
  • If you have a Financial Advisor, you can allow them to manage your investment options. They need to complete the Agent Assisted Enrollment Form.
  • A MiABLE account doesn’t replace a Special Needs Trust. It’s another “tool in the toolbelt” to provide for an adult or child with a disability.

Tax Benefits

  • ABLE accounts are funded with after-tax contributions and can grow tax-free when used for qualifying disability expenses.
  • In addition, the State of Michigan features one of the largest tax deductions for contributions to an ABLE account. Single filers can receive a $5,000 tax deduction and a married couple filing jointly can receive a $10,000 tax deduction.
  • Many parents may have already set up a 529 College Savings Plan for their child before they were diagnosed with a disability. Those funds can be transferred to an ABLE account without penalty, and then can be used for a broad range of expenses!
  • Others can contribute to an individual’s MiABLE account to help it grow. Family members and friends can make contributions through the online portal or by mailing in a check. And if they are Michigan residents, they can take advantage of the tax deduction, too. Additionally, some states offer a deduction to ABLE account contributions in other states.

The Greatest Benefit

There are so many benefits to creating a MiABLE account for a child or young adult with a disability. But the greatest benefit has to be empowering disabled individuals to save for their future and creating a way for them to truly achieve a better life experience!

For more information, visit the MiABLE website or call them to have your questions answered: 844-656-7225. And the ABLE National Resource Center has a lot of helpful information too.

And for more information about Healing Haven and the services we provide families of children with autism and other special needs, visit Our Services page.