Holiday Stress Management Tips for Autism Families

managing holiday stress
Holiday stress management tips

The holiday season can be full of wonderful activities, parties and family gatherings. But there is also an added level of stress during the holidays because of the extra “hustle and bustle”. Shopping, baking, decorating, wrapping and hosting – how much can we add to our plates? And when you are also parenting a child with autism or other special needs, the demands of the holidays can become overwhelming. The change in routines, unfamiliar people and places can cause stress in our kids – and us!

With input from our amazing Counseling Team, we’ve compiled ten holiday stress management tips to help you prepare for, and enjoy, this season. 

10 Holiday Stress Management Tips

1. Acceptance

Something that may seem obvious is the ability to accept your child as they are and be understanding of their needs. An acceptance mindset can be a significant driver to reducing your overall stress. Mentally prepare yourself that during this busy season your child may engage in more self-soothing behaviors to cope with the changes in their routine and added stress. They also may not want to interact with all the extra family and friends that you see this time of year. Giving your child some control and choices may help. You can offer controlled choices about the time they go and leave from gatherings, if they want to go somewhere, or where some decorations should go. 

Another aspect of acceptance is to realize that the holidays can bring a mix of joy and grief, especially for parents navigating changes in traditions, expectations, and family dynamics. It’s important to give yourself grace to feel how you feel, whether it’s sadness, frustration, or nostalgia.

2. Flexibility

It’s important to look at your own expectations around the holidays and try to be more flexible.  Realize that it’s OK that your child may not feel the same way about the holidays as other kids. Your child may not like the traditional holiday activities, so stop and ask yourself the motivation behind doing something (like taking a picture with Santa). If the motivation is that it’s a “childhood tradition”, it’s not worth having your child stress out, panic or go into a full meltdown getting near Santa. Try to develop a flexible mindset. If you have to make a last-minute change because your child becomes over stimulated, that’s not only supporting your child and their needs, but also a self-care practice for you! 

It’s important to acknowledge that adjusting holiday traditions to accommodate evolving circumstances, such as the unique needs of children, shifting family roles, or personal limits, can be emotionally taxing. Recognize that grief over what was—or what you hoped for—is valid and a natural part of the process. Allow yourself to embrace flexibility and find meaning in new traditions while honoring the emotional space needed to process these changes.

3. Set Boundaries

You know your child and how and where they are at their best. If your entire family is gathering at Grandma’s house, there are ways you can still participate. Plan to stay for an hour so that you leave before your child reaches their sensory maximum. You could also plan to arrive at gatherings early in order to allow your child to slowly acclimate to the number of people showing up in real-time, which could help make them feel less overwhelmed

It may be helpful to communicate ahead of time the boundaries you are setting with your family members to avoid any misunderstanding. Here is a great resource to share with family or friends who are hosting holiday gatherings. And thanking them for understanding the choices you need to make will help them to feel appreciated for being flexible. 

4. Say No

With so many invitations, activities and options presented to us during the holidays, we can end up finding ourselves in situations that may take away from the enjoyment. Furthermore, saying yes to an event when you actually want to say no can lead to feeling overwhelmed and also experiencing resentment. If you know your child will not do well at someone’s house, you can kindly decline an invitation. Remember, all you need to say is “I am sorry, we cannot make it – thank you for the invitation.” You do not need to give a reason or explain why you cannot make it to the event. It can be hard to say no, but if it will reduce the stress in your life, you need to do it for your own sanity. 

5. Pace It Out

Decorating your home for Christmas can be fun for some, but sensory overload for others. If you gradually get your decorations out, your child can acclimate to the new lights, smells and sounds slowly. Progressively introducing new decor into the living areas of the house allows your child to gradually adapt to the environment. Otherwise, you risk overloading them with the changes all at one time. 

It may also be useful to take time to familiarize your child with the destination or venue of any gathering as well as the guests that will be attending. This can be done through photos or preparing a photo album they can hold and refer to during the event, as well as reviewing it beforehand. This can help reduce the chance of surprises and help them feel comfortable in knowing the environment and people they will see.   

6. Find Balance

An important holiday stress management tip is to work in some quiet, soothing activities with your kids to help them balance all the additional sensory input that comes during this time of year. And those quiet moments can benefit you, too. Furthermore, find balance in the ability to indulge in the yummy treats of the season without feeling guilty. It is common for healthy eating habits to take a backseat this time of year. But if you can balance out the sweets indulgence by increasing your water intake each day, you may feel more positive about enjoying the holiday treats. 

It’s also important to make sure to prioritize and set some time aside for self-care activities that help you relax, have fun, or feel energized. These activities could include talking with a friend, going for a walk, reading, listening to music, watching a holiday movie, or whatever else you enjoy. The important part of self-care is not so much what you do – it’s that you make time do it.   

7. Keep Structure

You and your child have schedules – daily, nightly, weekly routines. Keep as many things consistent as possible. For example, if you have self-care activities such as attending a workout class or getting your nails done, keep that commitment even during the busyness of the holidays. If your child has a nightly routine of taking a bath before bed, leave the holiday event with enough time to allow your kiddo to complete their routine. Keeping your typical agendas will set you and your family up for success during this hectic time. And if a change in your child’s routine is unavoidable, creating a holiday visual schedule can help them prepare and process what is coming. Here’s another great resource for holiday social stories and visual schedules. 

8. Avoid Perfectionism

So many caregivers are perfectionists by nature and the holidays can intensify the desire for things to be “just right.” Though this may be difficult, try and focus on the big picture of the holiday season by avoiding getting caught up in the little details. Give yourself permission to be less than perfect, write it down or say it out loud – “things do not need to be perfect this holiday season!” Letting go of perfection and focusing on connection, even in small ways, can help create moments of peace and joy during a challenging time.

9. Consider Dietary Restrictions

As you likely already know, autistic individuals are more likely than others to have dietary restrictions. This is something to be aware and mindful of, as well as make known to others so that your child isn’t excluded from participating in holiday meals and treats. Even if there are no dietary restrictions, having preferred food items around for your child can be an effective tool in helping them remain calm and comfortable in stressful situations. With this said, also be mindful of extreme amounts of sugar available and accessible, as this could also heighten stress and anxiety during the holidays.  

10. Sleep!

This is a small one and may seem somewhat cliché, but getting enough sleep is so important for stress management – especially around the holidays. With all the things we have to get done during this time of year, sleep often gets neglected. But we also know that lack of sleep makes most people more vulnerable to irritability, mood changes, forgetfulness, and much more. Protect your time to sleep by prioritizing what needs to get done today verses what can wait until tomorrow so that you aren’t sacrificing sleep for your “to-do list”. Do your best to ensure that your child gets enough sleep, as well, as this can make a huge difference in their energy and behavior.  

Some of these holiday stress management tips may seem easier said than done. But we hope that you find at least a few of them helpful and easy to incorporate into your holiday season. Even if it’s just hearing that you CAN say no and set boundaries… doing so just may lead to a less stressful and more enjoyable season! 

And if you find your stress level increasing into the new year, our Counseling program helps parents of kids with autism, as well as children and teens on the spectrum. Contact us for more info. 

If you found these holiday stress management tips helpful, please share this post with others! 

The Benefits of Organized Space For Individuals With Autism

Have you ever tried working in a cluttered area? Or been distracted by noises or lighting while trying to focus? Most of us would not feel very successful if we were attempting to be productive in such an environment. For individuals with autism, distracting, messy work and play spaces can only magnify the struggle of focus when gaining new skills. Whether it’s your home or your child’s play area, keeping an organized space for individuals with autism reaps many benefits.

Why Organized Spaces for Individuals with Autism

A clean environment is an important element to the success of individuals with autism. In fact, it influenced the design of our clinics.  Our President & Founder Jamie McGillivary, MS, LLP, BCBA, LBA, intentionally chose the colors of the walls, the use of natural light and artificial natural light, simple layout and organized spaces. And these principles can carry over into the home environment too.

Less Distraction

Many individuals on the autism spectrum experience excessive sensory input. Consequently, distraction is common. Too much unnecessary clutter and detail can derail a child’s focus. Even minor messes that may be easy for a neurotypical child to ignore could cause attention issues for those on the spectrum. Minimizing unhelpful sensory experiences aids in a child with autism’s ability to focus.

Specifically, consider visual and auditory senses when designing a distraction-free space:

Visual

Keep walls simple in decoration to prevent overwhelm. Many kids with ASD notice minute details in the area around them. Tucking away supplies and toys in bins or cabinets out of sight reduces temptation to interact with them while also reducing distractions. For colors, utilize solid, soft tones such as green, blue and pink and avoid yellow as it can be overstimulating.

Auditory

Sensitivity to noise is a common symptom for kids with ASD. While neurotypical children may function easily with sounds considered background noise, those sounds may be incredibly distracting for children on the spectrum. Keep your child’s space as free as possible from traffic noises, humming machines, loud ticking clocks, and other potential “noise clutter.”

Enhances Organizational Skills

Organizational tasks that we deem simple may require more effort and practice for individuals with autism. A clean work environment promotes organization and productivity, which in turn helps a child acquire new skills. Designating organized areas helps individuals with autism predict what will take place in their workspace. Labeling areas such as drawers and cupboards can help kids practice putting their supplies and toys away when finished. This also helps reduce long-term clutter and ensures smoother transitions to new activities. Color coding is another fantastic way to make organizing easier for kids on the spectrum, as different colors represent different purposes for an area.

Reinforces Routine and Expectations

Organization helps an individual’s success and independence in following instructions. If a space is cluttered and messy, they will likely get more confused when trying to learn skills and complete routine tasks. According to research, organized and structured learning spaces aid kids in staying on-task and performing well academically. Structure helps you as a parent as well, as it can reduce the need for your assistance.

Tips for Your Home

If you believe your child could benefit from some decluttering and organization at home, here are a few ideas to get started. And remember, you don’t have to try all of these things at once!

  • Organize toys, art supplies, school materials, etc. into labeled areas and bins
  • Paint your child’s room a new, calming color
  • Tackle one room at a time and identify items you can remove or put away for a simplified and, hopefully, less stressful setting.

These ideas may not only benefit you, but your whole family may begin to feel some stress lift as a result of creating organized spaces for your child with autism.

And if you found this post helpful, please feel free to share it with others!

Autism and Co-occurring Health Conditions 

autism co-occurring health conditions
autism co-occurring health conditions

When a child receives a diagnosis of autism it can be overwhelming for parents. They must learn how autism spectrum disorder is manifesting in their child and then how to best support them. Do they have communication challenges, or are they completely non-verbal? Do they experience sensory overload? Are they struggling with learning? Is it impacting their motor skills? On top of these questions, parents may also have to navigate some common health conditions that can co-occur with autism.

Just like there are many known health conditions that co-occur with Down syndrome (congenital heart defects, thyroid issues, hearing loss, celiac disease, etc.), many additional health issues can also arise in individuals with autism. And a study once indicated that children with autism are four times as likely to have their additional health needs go untreated, especially if they have a co-occurring intellectual disability, compared to the general population.

Conditions that Co-occur with Autism

We are going to break down some of autism’s common co-occurring health conditions. Please note, this information is to only provide helpful insight for parents and caregivers and is by no means an attempt to diagnose any of these conditions in someone who has autism.

Epilepsy

The overlap between autism and epilepsy has a wide range – estimated somewhere between 5-46%. But a 2019 study indicated 44% of patients with ASD also have epilepsy, while only 1-2% of the general population have epilepsy. One reason for the variability in identifying epilepsy in individuals with autism is if they have mild seizures. Mild seizure symptoms include blank stares, inattention and tics, which individuals with autism not having a seizure may also demonstrate. Additionally, those who have both autism and epilepsy are more likely to also have intellectual disability. The seizures could be interrupting brain development and as a result causing cognitive impairment. There is research indicating that a genetic component – the deletion of chromosome 15q13.3 is the most common risk factor for epilepsy. Additionally, the deletion of this same chromosome is also linked to autism.

GI Issues

A variety of gastrointestinal conditions can co-occur in individuals with autism – from abdominal pain, reflux, constipation or diarrhea. Diet is often thought to be the underlying cause of these issues. However, one study indicated that stress is more likely the cause of gastrointestinal trouble in people with autism, rather than their diet. But in contrast, another study revealed “increasing evidence suggested that gut microbiota plays a critical role in gastrointestinal symptoms and behavioral impairment in ASD patients.” Whatever the underlying cause, it’s helpful to be aware of the commonality of GI issues in individuals with autism so that possible treatments can be found.

Depression

Depression is more common in children and adults with autism than in the general population. The rates of depression increase with age and intellectual ability. A study from 2021 indicated that those with autism are “4-times more likely to experience depression in their lifetime” compared to the general population. Those individuals without an intellectual disability are more prone to depression, most likely because they are more aware of their struggles that come with their autism diagnosis. Signs to look for include: loss of interest in favorite activities, chronic feelings of sadness, hopelessness, irritability, and noticeable change in hygiene habits.

Anxiety

Up to 42% of individuals with autism also experience anxiety, while only 3% of children and 15% of adults in the general population have anxiety issues. Social anxiety is especially common in people with autism. Social anxiety includes extreme fear of new people, crowds and social situations. Anxiety can also have physical symptoms like a increased heart rate, stomach aches, muscle tightness and the inability to move. Some individuals with autism struggle to communicate and may not be able to express how they feel. As a result, observing their behavior may be the best way to determine if they are experiencing anxiety. Treatment for anxiety can include behavioral interventions, cognitive behavior therapy, and in some cases anti-anxiety medication may also help.

OCD

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is related to anxiety and has a strong connection with autism. People with autism are twice as likely to have OCD compared to the general population. And those diagnosed with OCD are 4-times more likely to also have autism. Repetitive behaviors and restricted interest are a common factors with both OCD and autism. However, those with OCD are often bothered by their repetitive behaviors, while those with autism are usually not. Treatments for OCD in individuals with autism typically are medication and behavior therapy.

ADHD

An estimated 6-7% of the general population have an ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) diagnosis, while a staggering 50-70% of individuals with autism also have ADHD. Symptoms of ADHD include struggling to remember things, a noticeable pattern of inattention, difficulty managing time, hyperactivity and/or impulsivity. Autism and ADHD often have symptoms that overlap. A 2023 study revealed children with both conditions who were diagnosed with ADHD first weren’t diagnosed with autism until later in life. This delay in diagnosis is missing critical treatment time for these children. Because of this, it’s important to find a specialist experienced in working with both conditions to ensure nothing is missed.

Sleep Issues

Ask any parent of a child with autism and you’ll likely hear about sleep issues. Statistics have proven the large percentage of children with autism who also struggle with sleep. Some research indicates 4 out of 5 children with autism have at least one sleep disorder. Whether it’s trouble falling asleep, not being able to stay asleep, or waking up way too early, not getting enough sleep can exacerbate behavior and functioning during the day. As a result, it’s important to come up with solutions to help improve the quality of sleep. This post about addressing sleep issues in children with autism provides a breakdown of how sleep impacts those with autism and some possible ways to help alleviate sleep issues.

Thyroid Issues

Research several years ago identified the connection between a hypothyroid in pregnant women and their child being 4-times more likely to be diagnosed with autism. So what about a child with autism and their thyroid function? The thyroid gland secretes hormones that are critical for the body. Problems with the thyroid can impact cognitive development, behavior and the functioning of the nervous system.  Dr. Raphael Kellman, MD identified 75% of children with autism have undiagnosed thyroid issues. However, because the thyroid impacts so many areas of development, getting it working properly can have a positive impact on language, cognition, motor development, GI issues and more.

Knowledge is power

We hope this information-packed post has helped you understand some of the more common co-occurring conditions associated with autism. So whether you want to ask questions of your child’s health care provider, or you can be a resource for other parents also navigating this journey, knowledge is power.

And, if your child faces some of these health conditions, they may have to make more frequent visits to the doctor. If those visits prove challenging for your child, check out our new post: Navigating Routine Health Appointments for Children with Autism: A Parent’s Guide.

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6 Ways to Calm a Child With Autism

child with autism calming strategies
calming strategies for child with autism

Raising a child with autism brings surprises and challenges. One possible difficulty parents might face is managing overstimulation and meltdowns.

While every child has rough moments, for a child on the spectrum meltdowns are different. They often happen when the child is overstimulated and cannot communicate why they are upset. A valuable way to cope when meltdowns occur is to learn ways to calm a child with autism.

In this post we provide ways to look out for possible overstimulation, strategies to help calm your child in the moment and ways to head them off before they happen. Through detailed preparation, you and your child will feel more equipped to handle big emotions the next time they experience distress.

Warning Signs

Meltdowns may occur out of the blue or perhaps they come after a specific trigger. This can be very stressful for not only the child but parents and other family members as well. However, certain displays of behavior can cue parents to when their child might be on the verge of a meltdown. Some of these behaviors may include:

  • Increased stimming- agitated hand flapping, body rocking, pacing, hands over ears
  • Loud vocalizing
  • Crying
  • Eloping – running away from a situation
  • Self-injurious behavior (SIB)- banging head, picking at skin, hitting or biting self

Perhaps it is a certain location, a noise, or denied access to something that set off your child. Keeping a log of triggers can help prepare you for future incidents and allows you to be proactive in recognizing and coping with meltdowns. And in the meantime, try some of the following six ways to calm a child with autism when they are in distress.

Addressing Sensory Needs

Children with autism often have many more sensory needs than an average neurotypical person. Deep pressure stimulation such as gentle head or shoulder squeezes can help kids feel secure and move their nervous system into the parasympathetic nervous system, also called “rest and digest.” When we are in the parasympathetic nervous system, our bodies feel safe and secure which in turn calms our minds.

Additionally, learn what objects or toys are soothing to your child and have them on hand. Keep a bag of sensory objects with your child that they can utilize when they are feeling overwhelmed. Fidget spinners, blankets, squishy toys, or chew toys can bring comfort to an overstimulated nervous system.

A sensory friendly “calm down corner” can also help quell meltdowns. At home, designate a safe area for your child that includes soft lighting, calming music or white noise, and comfortable items such as bean bags or pillows. If your child attends school, coordinate with teachers to create a calm down corner in the classroom. If you’re in public during an episode, remove your child from the triggering environment as soon as you can and take them to a neutral location.

The Power of Music

Music can be very therapeutic to individuals with autism. Music increases brain activity which in turn helps regulate emotions. Additionally, singing a favorite song of your child’s may help them relax, as familiarity can be grounding. Try softly singing or playing soothing quiet tunes on headphones to help your child self-regulate.

Deep Breathing

Breathing is very powerful in calming the mind and body and can assist in regulating emotions for a child with autism. Sit face-to-face with your child and have them breathe deeply with you. Counting inhales and exhales as they breathe is a helpful technique. The exhale places the body back into the parasympathetic nervous system so make sure your child is releasing all the air. Breathing together will also help you feel more calm during a meltdown.

Exercise

Moving and fresh air help all of us feel better and is another great strategy to calm a child with autism. Walk with your child around the block, visit a nearby park, or put on a kids yoga video to help them center.

Stick to Schedules

Sometimes unpredictability triggers a meltdown. Pre-planned agendas can provide comfort to children with autism so they know what’s coming next, reducing anxiety. You can even create visual schedules for your child to reference throughout the day, which can help them stay on task. There will obviously be times when the schedule needs to change last minute, but try to give your child as much notice as possible.

Avoid Reinforcing Behavior

It’s natural to become worked up and overwhelmed watching your child experience such high levels of distress. But it’s important to avoid displaying strong emotions in front of your child in the heat of the moment in order to avoid reinforcing their behaviors. Remain as calm as you can and focus on deescalating your child through whichever method they respond best to. But be sure to make space to process your own emotions after the episode so you can regulate as well.

We hope these six ways to calm a child with autism will help you and your child the next time a meltdown arises. Know that you are not alone and that it is ok to feel overwhelmed. Our parent training resources include strategies in addressing specific meltdown situations. For more info, visit our ABA Parent Training page.

Befriending an Autistic Person

*This post was written by a guest contributor, Grace McGillivary.

Befriending an autistic person is just like making friends with any average Joe. However, there are some things you want to keep in mind when hanging out with them. Check out these three helpful tips if you are unsure how to befriend a person with autism. 

Actively Listen 

It can be exciting and different to have an autistic friend with whom you share a similar interest, and maybe it is the reason why the two of you are friends. If your friend is fixated on said interest, you could talk with them for hours on end without them getting tired. Sometimes, they might be particularly passionate about a completely different subject, too. Regardless, take time to listen to your friend and to hear them out. Even if it does not mean much to you, actively listening could really make an impact and allow them to feel heard.

Be Flexible 

When befriending someone with autism, it is important to remember that just like anyone else, sometimes they need space. If they say they need some time alone, let them have some. Keep in mind that, depending on the person, they might not be able to do some of the activities you can, so plan accordingly. Make sure it is something that your friend wants to do or will enjoy before going through with your plans. 

Sometimes you will find that it is easier to follow your friends’ lead. If they want to go about doing things a certain way, let them. It will make it more interesting for both of you. Perhaps you’ll learn something new from them.    

A personal example of this would be when one of my friends played Pokemon Shield with me for the first time. None of my other friends own that game, so it was a fun experience to let her show me the ropes.  

Treat Them the Same 

This is by far the most important of the three tips. A person with autism is no different from you, or anyone else you might know. They have their own interests and personality, too. The diagnosis does not define them, and you should not let it define how you act toward them. Treating them as you would other friends is the best way to make them feel included. But remember to keep the two earlier points in mind.  By simply showing kindness you can be a great friend. 

A Note to Parents

Additionally, if you’re a parent, it’s great to teach your kids how to befriend autistic kids. Perhaps your child has a classmate with autism. Helping your child learn about differences in others and teaching the value of friendliness is so important.

Now that you have some tips, you are better equipped to befriend an autistic person.  Please remember to keep these ideas in mind when hanging out with them. You just might develop a wonderful new friendship!  

Meet the Author 

Grace McGillivary is a freshly graduated high school student who has been regularly writing as a hobby. She is relatively new to writing blogs, and occasionally partakes in other activities such as drawing, taking long walks, and playing piano. Art, music, and writing are her pastimes. She also has several friends with autism, as she has served as a peer model at Healing Haven since its inception. 

Water Safety Tips for Children with Autism

It’s summertime, which usually equates to a lot of time outside. And with pools open and all the lakes here in Michigan, that often means time in and around water. While swimming and playing in water are fun and great exercise, it can also be very dangerous. In fact, just last year the Michigan Department of Natural Resources issued a new flag warning level for the Great Lakes. Because of the increased danger lakes and pools have, water safety for children with autism, or any child, is extremely critical. 

Why water safety is so important for children with autism

Children with autism, as well as Down syndrome, often wander, which can obviously be very unsafe if they get close to water unsupervised. Additionally, drowning can occur without making any sound. Children may also be unaware of things such as water depth, water temperature, water currents, or slippery surfaces. Not every child likes to be in the water, especially children that struggle with sensory issues. However, all children should still be aware of water safety in case of accidental slips or falls into a pool or lake. 

This statistic is scary and sobering, but every parent of an autistic child needs to know – drowning is a leading cause of death for children with autism. We’ve compiled some tips and ideas to teach water safety to your child with autism to help you prepare for this season. 

Get your child in swimming lessons 

Every child should learn to swim, and for children with special needs, it’s important the skill is taught in a way that resonates with them. Make sure the teaching environment is not too distracting or overwhelming for your child. 

There are many programs that provide adaptive swimming lessons for children with special needs. You can start by contacting your local YMCA. And the National Autism Association’s Big Red Safety Toolkit for caregivers provides an excellent guide and resources for managing wandering, as well as how to find swim lessons in your area. 

Provide reinforcers

Have reinforcers and preferred items available when your child performs important or difficult tasks related to water safety. This could include tolerating getting into the water, using appropriate safety gear, getting out when a whistle is blown for “adult swim time,” or leaving the pool when instructed. 

Visual learning of water safety

Use video narratives, social stories, or visual routines to teach water safety. The Swim Angelfish channel on YouTube, for example, is a great resource which provides a variety of videos that can be utilized to teach water safety to kids with disabilities. 

Many children with autism spectrum disorder are rules-driven, so use that to your advantage. Set specific rules for how they are to behave around water. Then practice those rules in real world situations. And if you have a pool at home, or live on/near a lake, consider placing “STOP” or “DO NOT ENTER” signs on doors that open to the outside, or gates to the pool. 

Use appropriate swim gear

Even if your child knows how to swim, it’s still a great precaution to use a life jacket or flotation device around water, whether they are planning on swimming or not. It can also offer reassurance when attempting a new skill and teaching independence. The especialneeds website is a great place to purchase special needs and sensory-friendly water gear, if needed.  

Teach key information

Because of the high percentage of wandering in kids with autism – nearly 50% – make sure your child knows his or her name, address, and phone number in the event he or she is separated from you. If your child does not speak, make sure they wear a bracelet, tag, tattoo, etc. with their name and your name and phone number. 

Set up your environment vigilantly 

Even if you feel confident that your child thoroughly understands the rules of water safety, accidents can still happen. It’s important to prepare for the worst so that nothing slips through the cracks. When preparing your environment near water, consider installing fences or gates with alarms around the body of water, if applicable. Additionally, you should also think about placing alarms or chimes on doors that open to bodies of water and keep toys of interest away from the water when not in use. Taking these measures will ensure that life-threatening wandering doesn’t take place.  

Communicate with others

Talk with your neighbors, whether at home or on vacation. Ask them to contact you immediately if they see your child wandering alone outside your home or property. Even if you don’t own a pool, but your neighbors do, ask them to be particularly aware of your child wandering near their property. 

We hope these ideas help you implement water safety for your child with autism. And for more general recommendations for pools, beaches, lakes, etc., check out this swimming safety guide. We want everyone to have a less stressful and more enjoyable summer! 

If you found this information helpful, we’d love it if you’d share it with others!

Traveling with a Child with Autism: Tips for a Smoother Ride

family on a roadtrip
traveling with child with autism

Whether it’s summer or the end-of-the-year holidays, most people equate these seasons with time off for vacation and road trips. But the idea of traveling with a child with autism can be overwhelming for both the parents and for the child! They thrive in structured, familiar routines, so hitting the road or the sky to a new destination has the potential to be stressful and create an environment for meltdowns and other negative behaviors. But even with the possible challenges, there are many benefits to experiencing new things. So here are tips for a smoother ride when traveling with a child with autism.

1. Plan Day Trips Before Week-Long Adventures

If you have never traveled away from home with your child with autism, start with a few day trips to help prepare them for a bigger event. Brainstorm some activities your child enjoys – maybe a new zoo, an aquarium, a water park or the beach (we have plenty of lakes here in Michigan) that are a short drive away. But plan the trip so you can stay overnight in a hotel. This will give them the hotel experience while still close enough to home if things go sideways. Having a few day trips as “practice,” you and your child will be more prepared for possible issues that may arise on a longer trip.

2. Pick A Destination That Will Interest Your Child

For many kids, they will just go with the flow of most any vacation. But for a child with autism it is important to choose a place that fits with your child’s personality, interests and strengths. Do they love the sensory stimulation of the sand on the beach and the water? Maybe they enjoy museums, monuments and a busy city? Or possibly they are at home in the woods, exploring trails and the calmness of nature? By selecting your vacation spot that matches their interests and sensory processing abilities, you will help your child be more successful in this new experience. If you’re looking for a destination that is also recognized as autism-friendly, check out our blog post Top 5 Autism-Friendly Vacation Spots.

3. Important Items To Pack

Different beds, foods, smells and sounds can create sensory overload for those sensitive to them. Remember to bring items your child uses to cope during times they become overloaded. Here are a few helpful items to consider bringing along: fidgets, a weighted blanket, sunglasses, noise-cancelling headphones, or any other soothers that help them. In addition, be sure to pack a few of their favorite toys/snuggles, DVD’s, books. It’s also good to include them by asking what they want to take along.

There are also a few added safety precautions for those who are nonverbal or have difficulty communicating. If you don’t have any of these, consider purchasing an autism necklace, a Medical bracelet, or a zipper pull, which provide an easy way to share your child’s diagnosis in case of an emergency. Another great tool is to create temporary tattoos with emergency contact info for their arm just in case they wander away from you. There are also a variety of GPS tracking devices if your child is more prone to wandering.

4. Build A Vacation Music Play List

Create a list of songs your child (and entire family) will enjoy – from movie soundtracks, popular music and sing-along songs. A road trip playlist can not only entertain, but comfort your child when they are in a new setting. If your child really loves music, involve them in the selection of songs. Also use the time to talk about your upcoming trip to help prepare them for what is to come.

5. Visuals & Role Playing Are Powerful Tools

Showing your child what will happen and when through a personalized picture schedule can relieve stress and reduce anxiety. Creating a visual support allows your child to process what’s ahead without being bombarded all at once. Consider making a picture schedule that’s designed sequentially to cover various portions of your trip. A chronological version that shows daily plans to review each morning can help, as well. This way, it can also double as a pre-alert device. Include pictures of the car/highway/airport, hotel, pull pictures off your destination’s website, etc. You could also use short captions to turn it into a story. Creating a calendar to count down the days leading up to your trip can also help prepare your child for your actual departure.

Additionally, transitions – changing from one situation to another – are common while on vacation. Children with autism can find these unfamiliar transitions difficult. Along with visuals, role playing a few weeks before a trip will allow your child time to process what he or she might expect on vacation.

We hope these tips will be helpful as you prepare to travel with your child with autism. And please let us know if you have any tips that you already have used to make your trips successful.

Autism Acceptance and Finding Community

autism acceptance and finding community
parents meeting for coffee

April is here again, which means it is time to celebrate and honor Autism Acceptance Month. Previously called Autism Awareness Month, the recognized period was started in 1972 by the Autism Society as National Autistic Children’s Week. It evolved from that into an entire month of recognition. In 2021, it was renamed from Autism Awareness Month to Autism Acceptance Month.  

The Difference Between Awareness and Acceptance 

The evolution of this nationally celebrated month’s name is due to the need to move beyond “awareness”. Today, many people are already “aware” of autism, and have been for some time. This elevated awareness has led to an increase in autism diagnoses since the disorder’s discovery. Currently, autism is prevalent in 1 in 36 children aged 8 years old, according to the CDC. With that said, being aware of autism is vastly different than accepting individuals with autism. This month, we emphasize the ability to accept individuals with autism. One way this can be done is through meaningful action with a focus on parents of individuals with autism.  

Taking Action by Finding Community

Something that many people do not consider when they think of a child receiving an autism diagnosis is the toll it can have on the child’s parents and family. The impact of an autism diagnosis is that it can feel isolating. And that feeling of “being alone” can make it challenging for parents to find the support and community they need. In addition, support is not always readily available. That is why for this Autism Acceptance Month, we want to focus on the importance of finding community for people with autism and their families.  

How Support Groups Can Help

Support groups are wonderful because they can serve multiple different purposes at once. But helping people connect with others who share similar experiences is what makes them essential for families impacted by autism. Support groups provide an abundance of resources. They also are filled with people who can relate to what you may be feeling. The people in these groups can help give advice for managing the unique ups and downs that come with raising a child on the spectrum. You, in turn, can help others who may have questions. Support groups also provide a wonderful place to share accomplishments along with challenges and create friendships for both you and your child.  

Where to Find Support

In Michigan:  

Michigan Alliance for Families has many resources for families impacted by autism. Parents can search for local events, get information on ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) services, educational services, and other supports. Their Navigators are available by phone to help families find autism assistance throughout Michigan.  

If your child is receiving therapy services, other parents are a great place to start to find those who are understanding of your situation. Ask your child’s BCBA or Therapist if there are some parents you can connect with. Or, stop and strike up a conversation with another parent when you are at the clinic. You never know what kind of friendship may develop! 

In All States and Online: 

Parents Helping Parents offers an online support group that meets once a month to discuss autism resources and stories. As the website explains, this can be a terrific way to connect and learn from parents who may share a similar story to your own. In addition to parents, anyone who works with children on the spectrum is encouraged to check it out.  

Healthline has an abundance of autism resources, ranging from general information to education and government benefit resources. They also specify resources for specific age groups and list multiple support groups and organizations for autistic individuals and their allies.  

Facebook is a place where you can find a group page for about anything. And that does not exclude support groups for parents of autistic children! This can be a wonderful place to meet other parents and discuss ideas, struggles, and accomplishments. Facebook groups are a place you can learn more about the autism community. Healing Haven even has their own private group specially created for parents of clients only. 

The Benefits of Autism Acceptance

An important thing to remember is that an autism diagnosis does not define a child or their family. Additionally, those with autism should never be underestimated. No one knows what the future holds.  

The more parents find a community and the support they need, the more likely they are to accept their new circumstances, which helps communicate autism acceptance to our broader communities. Through acceptance of our personal situations and finding others who understand, we can reduce our stress levels and bring richness to our lives. Additionally, it is important to note that acceptance applies to everyone. Parents who accept their child’s diagnosis can be fully present to support them. In addition, all of us learning to accept our neighbor, nephew, child’s classmate, who has autism, will set an example to others. And simultaneously, we will help create a community for that family to feel included. Through acceptance we help spread empathy and kindness of others’ differences. By living out acceptance we can make an impact far beyond the autism community. 

We hope you have found these resources to be helpful and we encourage you to share any information discovered here with your friends and family. Please feel free to leave a comment if this impacted you in a significant way. Happy Autism Acceptance Month! 

Uncovering Interests and Talents Through ABA Therapy

Two people playing the piano together.

When people think about ABA Therapy, they typically envision an environment rich in opportunities to promote communication, social skills and play skills. But what many people may not consider is that ABA Therapy can also help develop an individual’s vocational interests and jumpstart hobbies, which is especially important for individuals with autism. This post shares the story of one client who turned an interest into a new skill.  

The client, who will not be named for privacy purposes, found himself paired up with Healing Haven Registered Behavior Technician, Alex Levy, in fall of 2022. During their daily therapy sessions, the duo uncovered that they had a shared interest in music. With this, they both gravitated toward playing the piano in our music room. 

Many clients, employees, and parents alike have heard the floating, peaceful melodies of the piano filling the air in our clinic throughout the past year. Alex can often be heard practicing outside of his ABA Therapy hours. If heard during therapy hours, however, it is likely Alex playing piano with his client or his client playing solo. 

The power of music

Alex said his interest in learning to play the piano began when he saw a coworker playing it. “It just sounded very serene and peaceful,” said Alex. He has been taking advantage of the in-clinic piano, practicing on it for nearly a year. 

When Alex began working with his client, neither of them knew much about playing the piano. But once Alex started experimenting with tunes and sounds, his client began to gravitate toward it, too.  

The client’s Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA), Amanda, said that Alex and his client’s bond is an amazing and beautiful one to see. “Alex has been able to connect with him and engage with him on a whole new level,” she said. “I am still in shock whenever I do a supervision session and hear [the client] play a new song or show me a new skill he has learned on the piano. They both make me want to learn to play too!”

Recognizing your child’s interests

The mother of Alex’s client reports that her son has had a noticeable interest in music since he was a toddler. “We have pictures of him trying to play different instruments,” she said. “We also have pictures of him from a few years ago also trying to play the piano at Costco.” 

She said that, considering her son’s past interest in music and the piano, she wasn’t surprised to hear he was toying around with the piano at Healing Haven. What was surprising was the level to which her son was learning and developing musically.  

The magnitude of his talent became apparent one day when she took her son to get a haircut. She explained that the establishment she takes him to has a bounce house and a piano in the back to be enjoyed by the clients afterwards as a reward.  

“He just sat down at the piano and started to play something and I was so surprised and excited to hear him,” exclaimed the client’s mom. “I recorded him and showed my husband and family. I mentioned it to Alex later and he said, ‘yeah, he’s actually really good and is picking it up.’ We were so happy to hear that!”  

A flourishing talent

A tune Alex began learning early on in his piano journey is Viva La Vida by Coldplay. The catchy, repetitive, and uplifting chords captured his client’s attention immediately. This became a song heard regularly around the clinic. After a short amount of time, it was indistinguishable if it was Alex or his young client playing.  

Aside from Viva La Vida, Alex said his client likes to practice Beethoven tunes as well as various other classic melodies. “Usually when we play the piano together, my client likes to mimic whatever I play. However, he does add a lot of different variations to the things that I play or have shown him,” Alex said.  

The client’s mom is unsure if her son can read music notes or if he relies on sounds and visuals he receives from Alex’s playing. Alex believes it is the latter, which isn’t an unusual special ability for individuals on the autism spectrum.  

Alex can relate to this skill, as he is also on the spectrum. “Being on the spectrum definitely has helped me increase pattern recognition when it comes to learning to play instruments, but I do like to think I have a little bit of talent,” Alex joked.  

The benefits of music

There are many benefits of playing music for those on the autism spectrum. The client’s mom thinks her son’s newfound hobby and passion has made a positive impact on his behavior. “I think he goes to play when he needs to relax and sort of unwind from the day,” she said. “I would also say it has given him some extra confidence. He loves when we clap and cheer him on while he plays. He gets a big smile on his face and seems to stand taller when he gets up.”  

Amanda can attest to this. She said she has noticed that her client loves having others listen to and watch him play the piano and that he has even allowed peers to play alongside him. “Usually, he only wants his therapists and familiar people around him, but this has allowed him to let other people into his world,” Amanda said.

Alex has noticed a difference in his client’s behavior in the clinic as he’s gotten more involved in playing the piano as well. “It’s kind of given him more of a sense of entertainment and joy,” Alex said.  

Last November, another Healing Haven parent gifted a piano to the client’s family after hearing him play in the clinic and learning that the family was seeking an in-home piano for him.  The family is hoping to start piano lessons at home soon. Alex’s plans for playing the piano include getting an in-home piano and making more time to practice. 

Helping your child with autism find their passion

“The interest in music has always been there for him [her son], but ABA and his therapist provided the opportunity for him to learn and explore playing the piano,” said the client’s mom. “We wouldn’t have known that he has the passion and talent for piano if not for his exposure and opportunity during his therapy sessions.” 

At Healing Haven, we love to help children discover their interests and passions through our ABA Therapy. If you’re looking for potential hobbies to try out with your child, check out this list of ideas.

Developing Relationships on the Autism Spectrum 

developing loving relationships when you have autism
mom hugging son

In the United States, our culture has predetermined ideas of what love looks like between parent and child as well as between adults. As most of us have experienced, relationships can be complicated, autism or not. And developing relationships when you have autism is just as important as it is for those who don’t. Autism can cause differences in communication, understanding of context and sensory perceptions. As a result, people often believe that individuals with autism don’t understand or even require love and loving relationships. However, that is simply not the case.  

The expression of love starts at a very early age as parents and others are teaching skill sets that children will need for the rest of their lives. Here in our clinics our team witnesses the many ways kids with autism connect with their therapists and show love. And, as professionals deeply invested in the wellness of our clients and their families, many of our team members read and learn about some of the less commonly discussed aspects of life on the spectrum — and that includes love. 

In this post we share some wisdom from our President & Founder, Jamie McGillivary. She shares what love for someone with autism may look like and how to help foster the ability to develop loving relationships. 

Start with understanding and acceptance 

Because love is universal and not limited by age, we will start with a couple of concepts about love on the spectrum for parents and loved ones to consider. 

First, it’s important to recognize there is a notable difference between feeling love and behaving in a loving way. And this difference applies to everyone, not only those with autism. Jamie says that when we consider autism as a way of being, rather than a disorder, an individual’s response to love makes a lot more sense. Essentially, loving behavior can look very different from one person to the next. Just because a person isn’t comfortable with hugging or kissing, doesn’t mean they don’t feel love. 

Second, individuals don’t have to excel at recognizing the emotions of others to have emotions of their own. Jamie points out a great irony regarding this idea. “As therapists, we teach the skills of putting yourself into another’s shoes, but, as so-called neurotypical people, do we do this when interacting with people with autism?”  

This concept is called “theory of mind”. It is the ability to understand the experiences of others, even if they don’t coincide with our own. For those of us who don’t have autism, we can show the greatest amount of love simply by extending understanding and acceptance. 

Expressing and receiving love 

Parents can gain a lot of understanding about how their child with autism, as well as anyone else in their lives, shows and accepts love by reading The Five Love Languages, a book series by Gary Chapman. There is a kid’s version too. 

The 5 Love Languages

Everyone has a preference as to what feeling loved means for them. The 5 Love Languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. You can learn more about each of the five love languages through Champman’s book, as well as in our post 5 Ways to Express Love to Your Child with Autism. 

Learning how your child expresses and receives love is an important skill. Jamie provides this example, “You can learn about your child’s love languages by observing their behavior. Are they in your space, do they say ‘mom, mom, mom, mom, mom’? This gives you a clue that they need you to fill their bucket with quality time.” 

If you sense that your child is feeling less connected, it might be that you or others aren’t communicating in their preferred love language. Receiving a gift can mean very little to someone who craves praise and acknowledgment. Some kids with autism want hugs but will never give them from the front. Thay may need a hug from the back or the side for it to be acceptable to them on a sensory level. 

Additionally, a common misconception is that kids with autism don’t want to be social. In reality, they may feel disconnected because you are not communicating in a way that’s meaningful to them. 

A common scenario most parents can relate to is when a preschooler wants to play with a peer but doesn’t know how to express they want to play.  So instead, they kick over the peer’s just-completed block tower. And the reverse of this is when a child asks another to come play but is ignored by the nonverbal child. The children in both scenarios have a need and a desire to be with each other. But unfortunately aren’t able to communicate it in a way that the other understands. 

This is called “negative reciprocal actions,” and when they add up, the person trying to connect eventually gives up. Socially, this is where we see a difference. Kids with autism express their needs on their own terms.  It’s important to learn how to speak their language of love.  

Setting a relational foundation 

As parents, you are the first role models for loving relationships. If you are accepting and open to your child’s differences, it opens the door to enter your child’s world. Follow your child’s lead and be a detective in how they communicate with you. When you figure that out, you will get more back in return. 

By recognizing your child’s way of connecting with others, it goes beyond your own parent/child relationship. You are helping them express their need for love to others. This sets the stage for teaching pivotal social interactions that can help them make deep friendships and develop loving relationships. Developing a connection with your child – or grandchild, friend, relative or love interest — with autism, is possible. The key is figuring out how they express and receive love..