*This post was written by a guest contributor, Grace McGillivary.
Befriending an autistic person is just like making friends with any average Joe. However, there are some things you want to keep in mind when hanging out with them. Check out these three helpful tips if you are unsure how to befriend a person with autism.
Actively Listen
It can be exciting and different to have an autistic friend with whom you share a similar interest, and maybe it is the reason why the two of you are friends. If your friend is fixated on said interest, you could talk with them for hours on end without them getting tired. Sometimes, they might be particularly passionate about a completely different subject, too. Regardless, take time to listen to your friend and to hear them out. Even if it does not mean much to you, actively listening could really make an impact and allow them to feel heard.
Be Flexible
When befriending someone with autism, it is important to remember that just like anyone else, sometimes they need space. If they say they need some time alone, let them have some. Keep in mind that, depending on the person, they might not be able to do some of the activities you can, so plan accordingly. Make sure it is something that your friend wants to do or will enjoy before going through with your plans.
Sometimes you will find that it is easier to follow your friends’ lead. If they want to go about doing things a certain way, let them. It will make it more interesting for both of you. Perhaps you’ll learn something new from them.
A personal example of this would be when one of my friends played Pokemon Shield with me for the first time. None of my other friends own that game, so it was a fun experience to let her show me the ropes.
Treat Them the Same
This is by far the most important of the three tips. A person with autism is no different from you, or anyone else you might know. They have their own interests and personality, too. The diagnosis does not define them, and you should not let it define how you act toward them. Treating them as you would other friends is the best way to make them feel included. But remember to keep the two earlier points in mind. By simply showing kindness you can be a great friend.
A Note to Parents
Additionally, if you’re a parent, it’s great to teach your kids how to befriend autistic kids. Perhaps your child has a classmate with autism. Helping your child learn about differences in others and teaching the value of friendliness is so important.
Now that you have some tips, you are better equipped to befriend an autistic person. Please remember to keep these ideas in mind when hanging out with them. You just might develop a wonderful new friendship!
Meet the Author
Grace McGillivary is a freshly graduated high school student who has been regularly writing as a hobby. She is relatively new to writing blogs, and occasionally partakes in other activities such as drawing, taking long walks, and playing piano. Art, music, and writing are her pastimes. She also has several friends with autism, as she has served as a peer model at Healing Haven since its inception.
It’s summertime, which usually equates to a lot of time outside. And with pools open and all the lakes here in Michigan, that often means time in and around water. While swimming and playing in water are fun and great exercise, it can also be very dangerous. In fact, just last year the Michigan Department of Natural Resources issued a new flag warning level for the Great Lakes. Because of the increased danger lakes and pools have, water safety for children with autism, or any child, is extremely critical.
Why water safety is so important for children with autism
Children with autism, as well as Down syndrome, often wander, which can obviously be very unsafe if they get close to water unsupervised. Additionally, drowning can occur without making any sound. Children may also be unaware of things such as water depth, water temperature, water currents, or slippery surfaces. Not every child likes to be in the water, especially children that struggle with sensory issues. However, all children should still be aware of water safety in case of accidental slips or falls into a pool or lake.
This statistic is scary and sobering, but every parent of an autistic child needs to know – drowning is a leading cause of death for children with autism. We’ve compiled some tips and ideas to teach water safety to your child with autism to help you prepare for this season.
Get your child in swimming lessons
Every child should learn to swim, and for children with special needs, it’s important the skill is taught in a way that resonates with them. Make sure the teaching environment is not too distracting or overwhelming for your child.
There are many programs that provide adaptive swimming lessons for children with special needs. You can start by contacting your local YMCA. And the National Autism Association’s Big Red Safety Toolkit for caregivers provides an excellent guide and resources for managing wandering, as well as how to find swim lessons in your area.
Provide reinforcers
Have reinforcers and preferred items available when your child performs important or difficult tasks related to water safety. This could include tolerating getting into the water, using appropriate safety gear, getting out when a whistle is blown for “adult swim time,” or leaving the pool when instructed.
Visual learning of water safety
Use video narratives, social stories, or visual routines to teach water safety. The Swim Angelfish channel on YouTube, for example, is a great resource which provides a variety of videos that can be utilized to teach water safety to kids with disabilities.
Many children with autism spectrum disorder are rules-driven, so use that to your advantage. Set specific rules for how they are to behave around water. Then practice those rules in real world situations. And if you have a pool at home, or live on/near a lake, consider placing “STOP” or “DO NOT ENTER” signs on doors that open to the outside, or gates to the pool.
Use appropriate swim gear
Even if your child knows how to swim, it’s still a great precaution to use a life jacket or flotation device around water, whether they are planning on swimming or not. It can also offer reassurance when attempting a new skill and teaching independence. The especialneeds website is a great place to purchase special needs and sensory-friendly water gear, if needed.
Teach key information
Because of the high percentage of wandering in kids with autism – nearly 50% – make sure your child knows his or her name, address, and phone number in the event he or she is separated from you. If your child does not speak, make sure they wear a bracelet, tag, tattoo, etc. with their name and your name and phone number.
Set up your environment vigilantly
Even if you feel confident that your child thoroughly understands the rules of water safety, accidents can still happen. It’s important to prepare for the worst so that nothing slips through the cracks. When preparing your environment near water, consider installing fences or gates with alarms around the body of water, if applicable. Additionally, you should also think about placing alarms or chimes on doors that open to bodies of water and keep toys of interest away from the water when not in use. Taking these measures will ensure that life-threatening wandering doesn’t take place.
Communicate with others
Talk with your neighbors, whether at home or on vacation. Ask them to contact you immediately if they see your child wandering alone outside your home or property. Even if you don’t own a pool, but your neighbors do, ask them to be particularly aware of your child wandering near their property.
Whether it’s summer or the end-of-the-year holidays, most people equate these seasons with time off for vacation and road trips. But the idea of traveling with a child with autism can be overwhelming for both the parents and for the child! They thrive in structured, familiar routines, so hitting the road or the sky to a new destination has the potential to be stressful and create an environment for meltdowns and other negative behaviors. But even with the possible challenges, there are many benefits to experiencing new things. So here are tips for a smoother ride when traveling with a child with autism.
1. Plan Day Trips Before Week-Long Adventures
If you have never traveled away from home with your child with autism, start with a few day trips to help prepare them for a bigger event. Brainstorm some activities your child enjoys – maybe a new zoo, an aquarium, a water park or the beach (we have plenty of lakes here in Michigan) that are a short drive away. But plan the trip so you can stay overnight in a hotel. This will give them the hotel experience while still close enough to home if things go sideways. Having a few day trips as “practice,” you and your child will be more prepared for possible issues that may arise on a longer trip.
2. Pick A Destination That Will Interest Your Child
For many kids, they will just go with the flow of most any vacation. But for a child with autism it is important to choose a place that fits with your child’s personality, interests and strengths. Do they love the sensory stimulation of the sand on the beach and the water? Maybe they enjoy museums, monuments and a busy city? Or possibly they are at home in the woods, exploring trails and the calmness of nature? By selecting your vacation spot that matches their interests and sensory processing abilities, you will help your child be more successful in this new experience. If you’re looking for a destination that is also recognized as autism-friendly, check out our blog post Top 5 Autism-Friendly Vacation Spots.
3. Important Items To Pack
Different beds, foods, smells and sounds can create sensory overload for those sensitive to them. Remember to bring items your child uses to cope during times they become overloaded. Here are a few helpful items to consider bringing along: fidgets, a weighted blanket, sunglasses, noise-cancelling headphones, or any other soothers that help them. In addition, be sure to pack a few of their favorite toys/snuggles, DVD’s, books. It’s also good to include them by asking what they want to take along.
There are also a few added safety precautions for those who are nonverbal or have difficulty communicating. If you don’t have any of these, consider purchasing anautism necklace, a Medical bracelet, or a zipper pull, which provide an easy way to share your child’s diagnosis in case of an emergency. Another great tool is to create temporary tattoos with emergency contact info for their arm just in case they wander away from you. There are also a variety of GPS tracking devices if your child is more prone to wandering.
4. Build A Vacation Music Play List
Create a list of songs your child (and entire family) will enjoy – from movie soundtracks, popular music and sing-along songs. A road trip playlist can not only entertain, but comfort your child when they are in a new setting. If your child really loves music, involve them in the selection of songs. Also use the time to talk about your upcoming trip to help prepare them for what is to come.
5. Visuals & Role Playing Are Powerful Tools
Showing your child what will happen and when through a personalized picture schedule can relieve stress and reduce anxiety. Creating a visual support allows your child to process what’s ahead without being bombarded all at once. Consider making a picture schedule that’s designed sequentially to cover various portions of your trip. A chronological version that shows daily plans to review each morning can help, as well. This way, it can also double as a pre-alert device. Include pictures of the car/highway/airport, hotel, pull pictures off your destination’s website, etc. You could also use short captions to turn it into a story. Creating a calendar to count down the days leading up to your trip can also help prepare your child for your actual departure.
Additionally, transitions – changing from one situation to another – are common while on vacation. Children with autism can find these unfamiliar transitions difficult. Along with visuals, role playing a few weeks before a trip will allow your child time to process what he or she might expect on vacation.
We hope these tips will be helpful as you prepare to travel with your child with autism. And please let us know if you have any tips that you already have used to make your trips successful.
Many kids love the break summer brings – a relaxed schedule, sleeping in, a variety of activities like the pool, summer camps, and vacation. But for a child with autism (and their parents) the lack of the regulated school schedule can cause major struggles over summer break.
Having a predictable schedule helps kids on the autism spectrum make sense of their world. Knowing what to expect from day to day and even hour to hour helps reduce anxiety. So as a parent, how do you facilitate a summer break that provides the structure your child with autism needs, while also incorporating fun summer activities we love?
5 Ways to Help Your Child With Autism Thrive Over Summer Break
Create a Summer Schedule
Use visuals to show what your child’s “typical” weekdays, weekends, vacations and holidays will be on a calendar. Another great tool is to make a “typical day” schedule to show when they should get up, get dressed and eat meals. Also include activities and outings for the day. So if you plan to go to the pool or library on certain days – put them in the schedule to show them what to expect. And for days at home, read on for how to have a schedule on those days too.
Review the schedule each day, or the night before, so they know what is coming up. Doing so will help to reduce the anxiety involved with the unknown. Here is one example from the Reading Mama that’s available for download. And a quick Google or Pinterest search will offer a variety of options.
Create a Back Up Plan
Work on teaching your child about a back up plan or “Option A” and “Option B”. If your schedule is to go to the pool tomorrow but thunderstorms are in the forecast, talk with them about a back up plan. Reviewing with them what you will do if they can’t do what’s on the schedule will help reduce behaviors associated with a “change in plans”.
Be Disciplined
If you stay home with your child in the summer it’s easy to get too relaxed and let go of any set schedule. But the more you can stick to a routine for meals, bed time and wake up time, and limiting screen time (see the next tip for more on this), the more well-regulated your child will hopefully be.
Create a Summer Vacation Rules Chart
The never-ending requests for the iPad, video games and TV are exhausting. Manage these requests – to a degree – with a Summer Vacation Rules list. The chart spells out a list of things they need to do BEFORE they get to use any technology. Some “rule” options include tasks like getting dressed and brushing teeth. Or include chores like making their bed, cleaning their room, and more advanced chores for older kids. You can also have a rule for playing – inside and outside for specific amounts of time. Additionally, include some academic work that is age appropriate – reading for 30 minutes, math work, or coloring for 20 minutes. Here’s one example from Thirty Handmade Days.
Celebrate the end of the school year and the start of summer. Plan an activity or treat that you can repeat every year. Make their favorite dinner (or go to their favorite restaurant if that is an option for your family), or go out for ice cream. Or plan a fun activity like a trip to the zoo, visiting their favorite playground or making a picnic lunch to have at a special park or beach. Do something that you can repeat each year on the last day of school/first day of summer break. This creates a positive rhythm to the start of summer.
We hope these ideas help you create some structure AND fun for you and your family this summer! What are some ways you survive the summer months with your child with autism? We’d love to hear them!
It’s April, and during this month at Healing Haven, we, along with many others, celebrate Autism Acceptance Month. And seventeen years ago, the United Nations established April 2nd as World Autism Awareness Day.
However, autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), isn’t new. According to the CDC the prevalence rate of autism is 1 in 36 children are diagnosed with ASD. In other words, autism is more common than many may realize!
In 2021 Autism Awareness Month changed to be called Autism Acceptance Month. With autism becoming more common, the shift from awareness to acceptance is important. Awareness goes only so far and without action is meaningless.
So how can we take action?
1. Learn about Autism
Considering the diagnosis statistics, you probably know at least one child or family impacted by autism. Autism is a developmental disorder that can impair communication and social interaction. Individuals with autism often display repetitive behaviors, obsessive interests, communication challenges and may have learning difficulties. However, autism is a broad spectrum, and individuals can have a vast array of abilities and struggles.
Likewise, it’s important to know that not all individuals with autism look or act a certain way. Some may express themselves in a distinctly different way than most neurotypical people, whether through body language, speech, or body movements. But for many, you may not even know they have autism. Nevertheless, just because an individual’s autism may not be noticeable doesn’t mean they don’t have unique needs.
Check out these resources to continue your autism self-education:
2. Reach Out and Listen to Parents of a Child with Autism
Parents who have a child with autism often battle stress and isolation. Their child may be prone to challenging behavior outside of a strict routine, thus disrupting gatherings, which means invitations to social events may not be plentiful.
Invite a parent of a child with autism out to coffee or a meal and be a listening ear. Ask questions to learn how you can support them. Invite their family over and prepare any accommodations needed for their child. These actions will show parents you care.
3. Talk to Children about Accepting Individuals Who are Different
You may be out with your child and see another child engaging in stereotypical “autistic” behaviors. Children (and adults) often stare and feel uncomfortable. Instead of telling your child to stop staring, use the experience as an opportunity for discussion. You could say, “It looks like he/she is feeling happy/sad. Sometimes, people show how they feel in different ways. What do you do when you feel (insert emotion)?”
Additionally, your child may have an autistic classmate. Discuss how we all have differences, and some differences are more noticeable than others. Together, come up with ways to befriend them and include them in activities.
4. Recognize Strengths Rather than just Difficulties of People with ASD
While autistic individuals face many challenges, as well as their parents, their challenges do not define them. In fact, people with ASD often possess many incredible strengths and unique traits. For example, people with autism often have intense interests in one area, such as animals, music, or numbers. Autistic people’s passion for these interests can take them far in life and many have succeeded in great ways. And this story of one of our clients (and his Behavior Technician) learning to play the piano in our clinic is sure to encourage you.
People with autism can also possess a plethora of positive qualities such as the ability to deeply focus, fact retention, attention to detail, and high intelligence. They are complex and gifted individuals who offer a unique perspective of the world.
5. Advocate for Parents and Individuals
Show your support in social settings involving individuals with autism or parents of children with autism. If a parent is trying to access accommodations for their child in a school, religious or community setting, advocate for them. Listen and share your voice to help influence the decision makers.
Throughout this month, how will you look for ways to advocate for those with autism? You can even make it a family challenge and discuss what you discover.
Be sure to check out the blogs listed below for further education on autism and support for parents. We are in their corner and yours as we work toward a world with more awareness and acceptance.
We are excited to announce the addition of a fourth clinic on our one-of-a-kind autism therapy campus! To recognize Autism Acceptance Month and celebrate our new clinic opening, we are inviting families, doctors, school professionals, therapists and job seekers to attend our Open House Thursday, April 4 from 5-7 PM. Our brand new Life Skills Clinic expands on our existing services to support teens and young adults.
Additionally, we are excited to have one of our former ABA clients join us for this event. Christian graduated from our ABA therapy program and is now a senior in high school. He does a mix of Culinary Arts Vocational School and traditional High School. Chris also works one-on-one with a private chef on Saturdays to expand his training. Chris told his Mom when he was in middle school that he wanted to be a pastry chef and now he is realizing his dream with his culinary arts certifications and his own business, Christian’s Creative Cakes. We are honored to showcase Christian’s talents with his tasty, and allergy-friendly cupcakes, during this night celebrating individuals with autism and our new Life Skills clinic opening.
One-of-a-kind Autism Therapy Campus
Healing Haven is family owned, allowing us to place a greater emphasis on quality of care. Our innovative autism therapy campus for ABA Therapy, Speech & Occupational Therapies, Developmental Testing and Counseling is one-of-a-kind in Metro Detroit. We have four clinics creatively designed to support individuals ages 2 through young adulthood. We also provide developmental testing and autism evaluations.
Attendees of our Open House will have the opportunity to tour our brand-new Life Skills Clinic space, as well as the other clinics upon request. You will meet our Leadership Team and ABA Clinical Managers. In addition, you can connect with the heads of our Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Counseling and Testing and Assessments Departments.
Who Should Attend the Open House?
Parents
Parents in search of autism therapy supports for their children are welcome to attend the Open House. Additionally, parents with concerns about their child’s development our welcome to come ask questions about our evaluation process. You will leave empowered with information, which is the first step in knowing how to best support your child to be all they can be!
Pediatricians, Teachers and Therapists
Professionals working with individuals with autism and pediatricians are encouraged to attend. You will learn about the supports available to your patients and students.
Job Seekers
In addition, our HR Team will also be available for potential job seekers. Please stop by if you want to learn more about career opportunities working with children and teens with autism.
What to Expect?
Mark your calendars to join us at our Open House Thursday, April 4 from 5-7 PM. Attendees should arrive at our Life Skills Clinic at 30701 Barrington St. Suite 125, Madison Heights. Join us for refreshments, connect with our leadership team and community members, and learn more about our new clinic and innovative autism therapy services.
For more informationcontact us or call us at 248-965-3916. And please share this opportunity with your connections who would benefit from learning about our unique blend of services.
Our team is looking forward to a great evening and we hope to see you there!
In the United States, our culture has predetermined ideas of what love looks like between parent and child as well as between adults. As most of us have experienced, relationships can be complicated, autism or not. And developing relationships when you have autism is just as important as it is for those who don’t. Autism can cause differences in communication, understanding of context and sensory perceptions. As a result, people often believe that individuals with autism don’t understand or even require love and loving relationships. However, that is simply not the case.
The expression of love starts at a very early age as parents and others are teaching skill sets that children will need for the rest of their lives. Here in our clinics our team witnesses the many ways kids with autism connect with their therapists and show love. And, as professionals deeply invested in the wellness of our clients and their families, many of our team members read and learn about some of the less commonly discussed aspects of life on the spectrum — and that includes love.
In this post we share some wisdom from our President & Founder, Jamie McGillivary. She shares what love for someone with autism may look like and how to help foster the ability to develop loving relationships.
Start with understanding and acceptance
Because love is universal and not limited by age, we will start with a couple of concepts about love on the spectrum for parents and loved ones to consider.
First, it’s important to recognize there is a notable difference between feeling love and behaving in a loving way. And this difference applies to everyone, not only those with autism. Jamie says that when we consider autism as a way of being, rather than a disorder, an individual’s response to love makes a lot more sense. Essentially, loving behavior can look very different from one person to the next. Just because a person isn’t comfortable with hugging or kissing, doesn’t mean they don’t feel love.
Second, individuals don’t have to excel at recognizing the emotions of others to have emotions of their own. Jamie points out a great irony regarding this idea. “As therapists, we teach the skills of putting yourself into another’s shoes, but, as so-called neurotypical people, do we do this when interacting with people with autism?”
This concept is called “theory of mind”. It is the ability to understand the experiences of others, even if they don’t coincide with our own. For those of us who don’t have autism, we can show the greatest amount of love simply by extending understanding and acceptance.
Expressing and receiving love
Parents can gain a lot of understanding about how their child with autism, as well as anyone else in their lives, shows and accepts love by reading The Five Love Languages, a book series by Gary Chapman. There is a kid’s version too.
The 5 Love Languages
Everyone has a preference as to what feeling loved means for them. The 5 Love Languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. You can learn more about each of the five love languages through Champman’s book, as well as in our post 5 Ways to Express Love to Your Child with Autism.
Learning how your child expresses and receives love is an important skill. Jamie provides this example, “You can learn about your child’s love languages by observing their behavior. Are they in your space, do they say ‘mom, mom, mom, mom, mom’? This gives you a clue that they need you to fill their bucket with quality time.”
If you sense that your child is feeling less connected, it might be that you or others aren’t communicating in their preferred love language. Receiving a gift can mean very little to someone who craves praise and acknowledgment. Some kids with autism want hugs but will never give them from the front. Thay may need a hug from the back or the side for it to be acceptable to them on a sensory level.
Additionally, a common misconception is that kids with autism don’t want to be social. In reality, they may feel disconnected because you are not communicating in a way that’s meaningful to them.
A common scenario most parents can relate to is when a preschooler wants to play with a peer but doesn’t know how to express they want to play. So instead, they kick over the peer’s just-completed block tower. And the reverse of this is when a child asks another to come play but is ignored by the nonverbal child. The children in both scenarios have a need and a desire to be with each other. But unfortunately aren’t able to communicate it in a way that the other understands.
This is called “negative reciprocal actions,” and when they add up, the person trying to connect eventually gives up. Socially, this is where we see a difference. Kids with autism express their needs on their own terms. It’s important to learn how to speak their language of love.
Setting a relational foundation
As parents, you are the first role models for loving relationships. If you are accepting and open to your child’s differences, it opens the door to enter your child’s world. Follow your child’s lead and be a detective in how they communicate with you. When you figure that out, you will get more back in return.
By recognizing your child’s way of connecting with others, it goes beyond your own parent/child relationship. You are helping them express their need for love to others. This sets the stage for teaching pivotal social interactions that can help them make deep friendships and develop loving relationships. Developing a connection with your child – or grandchild, friend, relative or love interest — with autism, is possible. The key is figuring out how they express and receive love..
The holiday season can be full of wonderful activities, parties and family gatherings. But there is also an added level of stress during the holidays because of the extra “hustle and bustle”. Shopping, baking, decorating, wrapping and hosting – how much can we add to our plates? And when you are also parenting a child with autism or other special needs, the demands of the holidays can become overwhelming. With input from our Counselors on staff, we’ve compiled some holiday stress management tips to help you enjoy this season.
Holiday Stress Management Tips
1. Acceptance
Something that may seem obvious is the ability to accept your child as they are and be flexible about their needs. An acceptance mindset can be a significant driver to reducing your overall stress. Mentally prepare yourself that during this busy season your child may engage in more self-soothing behaviors to cope with the changes in their routine and added stress. They also may not want to interact with all the extra family and friends that you see this time of year. Giving your child some control and choices may help as well. You can offer controlled choices about the time they go and leave from gatherings, if they want to go somewhere, or where some decorations should go.
2. Flexibility
Also look at your own expectations around the holidays and try to be more flexible. Realize that it’s OK that your child may not feel the same way about the holidays as other kids. Your child may not like the traditional holiday activities, so stop and ask yourself the motivation behind doing something (like taking a picture with Santa). If the motivation is that it’s a “childhood tradition”, it’s not worth having your child stress out, panic or go into a full meltdown getting near Santa. Try to develop a flexible mindset. If you have to make a last-minute change because your child becomes overstimulated, that’s not only supporting your child and their needs, but also a self-care practice for you!
3. Set Boundaries
You know your child and how and where they are at their best. If your entire family is gathering at Grandma’s house, there are ways you can still participate. Plan to stay for an hour so that you leave before your child reaches their sensory maximum. It may be helpful to communicate ahead of time the boundaries you are setting with your family members to avoid any misunderstanding. Here is a great resource to share with family or friends who are hosting holiday gatherings. And thanking them for understanding the choices you need to make will help them to feel appreciated for being flexible.
You could also plan to arrive at gatherings early in order to allow your child to slowly acclimate to the number of people showing up in real-time, which could help make them feel less overwhelmed.
4. Say No
With so many invitations, activities and options presented to us during the holidays, we can end up finding ourselves in situations that may take away from the enjoyment. Furthermore, saying yes to an event when you actually want to say no can lead to feeling overwhelmed and also experiencing resentment. If you know your child will not do well at someone’s house, you can kindly decline an invitation. Remember, all you need to say is “I am sorry, we cannot make it – thank you for the invitation.” You do not need to give a reason or explain why you cannot make it to the event. It can be hard to say no, but if it will reduce the stress in your life, you need to do it for your own sanity.
5. Pace It Out
Decorating your home for Christmas can be fun for some, but sensory overload for others. If you gradually get your decorations out, your child can acclimate to the new lights, smells and sounds slowly. Progressively introducing new decor into the living areas of the house allows your child to gradually adapt to the environment. Otherwise, you risk overloading them with the changes all at one time.
It may also be useful to take time to familiarize your child with the destination or venue of any gathering as well as the guests that will be attending. This can be done through photos or preparing a photo album they can hold and refer to during the event, as well as reviewing it beforehand. This can help reduce the chance of surprises and help them feel comfortable in knowing the environment and people they will see.
6. Find Balance
An important holiday stress management tip is to work in some quiet, soothing activities with your kids to help them balance all the additional sensory input that comes during this time of year. And those quiet moments can benefit you, too. Furthermore, find balance in the ability to indulge in the yummy treats of the season without feeling guilty. It is common for healthy eating habits to take a backseat this time of year. But if you can balance out the sweets indulgence by increasing your water intake each day, you may feel more positive about enjoying the holiday treats.
It’s also important to make sure to set some time aside to indulge in self-care activities that help you relax, have fun, or feel energized. These activities could include talking with a friend, going for a walk, reading, listening to music, or whatever else you enjoy. The important part of self-care is not so much what you do – it’s that you make time do it.
7. Keep Structure
You and your child have schedules – daily, nightly, weekly routines. Keep as many things consistent as possible. For example, if you have self-care activities such as attending a workout class or getting your nails done, keep that commitment even during the busyness of the holidays. If your child has a nightly routine of taking a bath before bed, leave the holiday event with enough time to allow your kiddo to complete their routine. Keeping your typical agendas will set you and your family up for success during this often hectic time. And if a change in your child’s routine is unavoidable, creating a holiday visual schedule can help them prepare and process what is coming. Here’s another great resource for holiday social stories and visual schedules.
8. Avoid Perfectionism
So many caregivers are perfectionists by nature and the holidays can intensify the desire for things to be “just right.” Though this may be difficult, try and focus on the big picture of the holiday season by avoiding getting caught up in the little details. Give yourself permission to be less than perfect, write it down or say it out loud – “things do not need to be perfect this holiday season!”
9. Consider Dietary Restrictions
As you likely already know, autistic individuals are more likely than others to have dietary restrictions. This is something to be aware and mindful of, as well as make known to others so that your child isn’t excluded in that sense. Even if there are no dietary restrictions, having preferred food items around for your child can be an effective tool in helping them remain calm and comfortable in stressful situations. With this said, also be mindful of extreme amounts of sugar available and accessible, as this could also heighten stress and anxiety during the holidays.
10. Sleep!
This is a small one and may seem somewhat of a cliché, but getting enough sleep is so important for stress management- especially around the holidays. With all the things we have to get done during the holidays, sleep often gets neglected. But we also know that lack of sleep makes most people more vulnerable to irritability, mood changes, etc. Protect your time to sleep by prioritizing what needs to get done today verses what can wait until tomorrow so that you aren’t sacrificing sleep to get things done. Do your best to ensure that your child gets enough sleep, as well, as this can make a huge difference in their energy and behavior.
Some of these holiday stress management tips may seem easier said than done. But we hope that you find at least a few of them helpful and easy to incorporate into your holiday season. Even if it’s just hearing that you CAN say no and set boundaries… doing so just may lead to a less stressful and more enjoyable season!
And if you find your stress level increasing into the new year, our Counseling program helps parents of kids with autism, as well as children and teens on the spectrum. Contact us for more info.
If you found these holiday stress management tips helpful, please share this post with others!
As we move into this season that places emphasis on gratitude and thankfulness, it can feel increasingly difficult to identify what we are grateful for given the ways of the world. Within the past few years, especially, it has been a time of increased stress, financial strain and even significant loss for many. We recognize that. But now more than ever it is important to stop to consider what you have to be grateful for. Whether it’s your health, your friends and family, career, your home, or something else, we hope you can identify at least one thing. So even with all the uncertainty in our world, we want to share this important information on the benefits of gratitude.
The Benefits of Gratitude
The effects of practicing gratitude have been studied for roughly 15 years. As detailed below, practicing gratitude can directly impact our stress levels. One of our core beliefs here at Healing Haven is the importance of stress management for parents and caregivers, as well as for our staff. Whether you write thank you notes, keep a gratitude journal, or give a verbal expression of thankfulness to someone, you will experience many benefits both physically and mentally. And the practice of gratitude can have long term benefits throughout the year.
Sleep Better
Many research studies show that having an attitude of gratitude helps individuals have a better quality of sleep. People experience falling asleep faster and staying asleep longer. So, if quality sleep is a struggle, try writing down specific things you are grateful for. Taking a few minutes to do this before bed can have a positive impact on your sleep.
Reduce Stress
Research reveals that people who practice gratitude are better able to manage the stressors that come in life. It could be that getting more sleep helps you handle stress better. Or it could be the dopamine that is released in your brain when you express thankfulness.
In our line of work with individuals with autism and their families, we know how hard it can seem to be thankful due to the many areas of life that are made more challenging with an autism diagnosis. However, if you’re able to recognize and be thankful for the little things, you’ll experience the impact of a grateful mindset.
Ease Depression
There are specific gratitude exercises that can help ease depression. Experiments asking people to take part in an exercise to list three good moments or things at the end of each day reveal improvements in depression and overall happiness. Gratitude can reduce numerous toxic emotions like envy, resentment, regret, frustration and more, leading to an improved outlook on life.
Healthier Body
Researchers asked people how likely they were to participate in healthy behaviors like going to the doctor, exercise and healthy eating. They also asked them to rate their levels of gratitude. As reported in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, researchers found correlations between healthy behaviors and gratitude, suggesting that expressing thanks has a connection with people taking care of their bodies.
Additionally, self-esteem studies reveal that gratitude can strengthen self-esteem by reducing social comparisons. A contributing factor in low self-esteem is being resentful toward others who have more money or better jobs. Those who practice gratitude regularly can more easily appreciate other people’s accomplishments, while simultaneously having security in their own self-worth, as opposed to those who don’t practice gratitude.
There are so many benefits to having a grateful way of life that we can’t possibly list them here. This article on HelpGuide.org does a great job of listing and explaining the many benefits of gratitude!
Incorporating Gratitude Into Your Life
Are you realizing you need to practice more gratitude in your life? If you’re looking for easy ways to get started, we’ve got you covered with these tips:
Start and end your day with it. Say out loud one thing you’re grateful for in the morning and one thing right before you go to sleep.
Write it down. Keep a gratitude journal – note one or more things you’re grateful for on a daily basis and write down your positive thoughts throughout the day.
Switch it up. If you become aware of the negative of something or someone, switch it in your brain to a positive.
Share it with others. Give at least one compliment or “thank you” daily. This can either be directly to someone or simply about your surroundings (I love how quiet the office is today.) And if you thank a coworker for a job well done, it may spread to others to recognize great work.
Spare us the drama. Commit to not complaining, criticizing or gossiping for one week. This exercise may help you to realize how much energy you were spending on negative thoughts.
We hope these ideas help spark more gratitude in your life. But if you find yourself still struggling, please reach out for help! The numbers of people experiencing anxiety, depression, and stress is on a constant increase due to what’s happening in our world. Don’t go through this alone. We always have qualified counselors on staff that may be able to help you. Alternatively, consider reaching out to a friend for support. Remember – it’s OK to ask for help!
Do you enjoy shopping for gifts for the holidays? Some relish the hunt for the “perfect gift”, while others stress over what to get their family and friends. And when you have a child or loved one on the autism spectrum, you may think finding a gift is even more challenging. However, it doesn’t have to be. We have created several gift guides over the years for those with autism (linked below), and this year we are continuing the tradition. We know parenting and caring for someone diagnosed with autism can add extra levels of stress, so we’re taking the challenge out of finding gifts for autistic kids and teens.
Let Their Interests Guide You
Here are a few things to keep in mind: Every autistic child or teen is unique, so remember to consider their individual interests. If they have an obsession with dinosaurs, trains, music, Legos or a certain super hero, then go with what they love! You can also consider supporting their development with gifts that will help them with communication, fine motor, socialization and sensory needs. And if the gift combines both their unique interest and a developmental need, then you’ve struck gold! Additionally, you don’t always have to go with the age recommendation for the toy or game. What is more important to consider is the child’s interest and where they are developmentally right now.
Creative Play and Fine Motor Development
These gift ideas are great for creative play, while also using their hands for fine motor skill development.
Playfoam is a foam material that can be shaped into anything, will not dry out, is non-stick and not messy! Kids can squeeze and mold it into all kids of shapes.
Kinetic Sand is a popular item because of it’s non-messy nature as well as all the fun ways you can build and create with it.
Legos are a popular toy for autistic kids. Lego groups for autistic teens and kids are used in therapy to develop communication and social skills. The limitless ways you can build and create with them, along with the way they develop fine motor dexterity and strength make these an awesome gift for all kids!
There are several popular magnet building toys. However, Magz-Bricks are different than the usual flat, triangle, square and rectangle magnets, providing a new way to create and use your hands!
Sensory Gift Ideas
Many kids and teens on the autism spectrum have sensory needs. The following gift ideas are wonderful resources to support their sensory needs: This Thomas and Friends Pop-Up Train Tent is a great way to provide a quiet respite for kids who may become overstimulated. And if they love trains, even better!
An Inflatable Pea Pod will help a child who benefits from pressure (being squeezed and hugged). This one is designed for children ages 6-12 and this one if for little ones ages 2-6. These pressure tools can help them calm down before bed, or if they become overly stimulated. And a pressure vest may be a great option for teenagers.
For kids who move a lot, keeping their fingers busy with fidgets is a great way to help them focus. This unique weighted glove is great for sensory input, and it also provides proprioceptive input (stimulates muscles and joints) during handwriting. Not to mention it looks cool! You could also go with a sensory bundle pack to provide a variety ways to keep their hands busy and help them focus. And if your child has trouble sitting still, an inflatable seating disc may help them with attention and focus.
Communication
Many autistic children and teens have communication delays. Our amazing team of speech pathologists put together a list of toys and books and the communication goals to target when playing with them. For example, Mr. and Mrs. Potato head provide a wide array of speech and language development from receptive and listening skills to practicing two word phrases, using pronouns and more.
National Autism Resources
For a plethora of more gift ideas for autistic teens and kids, check out the National Autism Resources website for games to develop social skills, tools to build independence, and many more incredible ideas.
Remember the Parents
Let’s face it, parents of autistic kids and teens are often under additional stress and juggle more than parents of neurotypical children. So if you’re a grandparent, aunt, uncle or friend of a child or teen on the autism spectrum, consider a gift for their parents! Something that encourages self-care, like a massage or a mani/pedi. Or even a gift card for carry out dinner takes some stress off their plate. You could also give the gift of your time for the opportunity to get out of the house without kids!
Hopefully these ideas are helpful in finding a gift for your child, grandchild, niece or nephew. And if you’re local to us here in Metro Detroit and want to support a local business, there’s a great option for your shopping. Toyolgy Toys has locations in Royal Oak, West Bloomfield and Bloomfield Hills, and they have website ordering available, as well as curbside pick up.
And for more gift ideas, here are the links to check our other gift guides:
