Holiday Stress Management Tips for Autism Families

managing holiday stress
Holiday stress management tips

The holiday season can be full of wonderful activities, parties and family gatherings. But there is also an added level of stress during the holidays because of the extra “hustle and bustle”. Shopping, baking, decorating, wrapping and hosting – how much can we add to our plates? And when you are also parenting a child with autism or other special needs, the demands of the holidays can become overwhelming. The change in routines, unfamiliar people and places can cause stress in our kids – and us!

With input from our amazing Counseling Team, we’ve compiled ten holiday stress management tips to help you prepare for, and enjoy, this season. 

10 Holiday Stress Management Tips

1. Acceptance

Something that may seem obvious is the ability to accept your child as they are and be understanding of their needs. An acceptance mindset can be a significant driver to reducing your overall stress. Mentally prepare yourself that during this busy season your child may engage in more self-soothing behaviors to cope with the changes in their routine and added stress. They also may not want to interact with all the extra family and friends that you see this time of year. Giving your child some control and choices may help as well. You can offer controlled choices about the time they go and leave from gatherings, if they want to go somewhere, or where some decorations should go. 

Another aspect of acceptance is to realize that the holidays can bring a mix of joy and grief, especially for parents navigating changes in traditions, expectations, and family dynamics. It’s important to give yourself grace to feel how you feel, whether it’s sadness, frustration, or nostalgia.

2. Flexibility

It’s important to look at your own expectations around the holidays and try to be more flexible.  Realize that it’s OK that your child may not feel the same way about the holidays as other kids. Your child may not like the traditional holiday activities, so stop and ask yourself the motivation behind doing something (like taking a picture with Santa). If the motivation is that it’s a “childhood tradition”, it’s not worth having your child stress out, panic or go into a full meltdown getting near Santa. Try to develop a flexible mindset. If you have to make a last-minute change because your child becomes over stimulated, that’s not only supporting your child and their needs, but also a self-care practice for you! 

It’s important to acknowledge that adjusting holiday traditions to accommodate evolving circumstances, such as the unique needs of children, shifting family roles, or personal limits, can be emotionally taxing. Recognize that grief over what was—or what you hoped for—is valid and a natural part of the process. Allow yourself to embrace flexibility and find meaning in new traditions while honoring the emotional space needed to process these changes.

3. Set Boundaries

You know your child and how and where they are at their best. If your entire family is gathering at Grandma’s house, there are ways you can still participate. Plan to stay for an hour so that you leave before your child reaches their sensory maximum. You could also plan to arrive at gatherings early in order to allow your child to slowly acclimate to the number of people showing up in real-time, which could help make them feel less overwhelmed

It may be helpful to communicate ahead of time the boundaries you are setting with your family members to avoid any misunderstanding. Here is a great resource to share with family or friends who are hosting holiday gatherings. And thanking them for understanding the choices you need to make will help them to feel appreciated for being flexible. 

4. Say No

With so many invitations, activities and options presented to us during the holidays, we can end up finding ourselves in situations that may take away from the enjoyment. Furthermore, saying yes to an event when you actually want to say no can lead to feeling overwhelmed and also experiencing resentment. If you know your child will not do well at someone’s house, you can kindly decline an invitation. Remember, all you need to say is “I am sorry, we cannot make it – thank you for the invitation.” You do not need to give a reason or explain why you cannot make it to the event. It can be hard to say no, but if it will reduce the stress in your life, you need to do it for your own sanity. 

5. Pace It Out

Decorating your home for Christmas can be fun for some, but sensory overload for others. If you gradually get your decorations out, your child can acclimate to the new lights, smells and sounds slowly. Progressively introducing new decor into the living areas of the house allows your child to gradually adapt to the environment. Otherwise, you risk overloading them with the changes all at one time. 

It may also be useful to take time to familiarize your child with the destination or venue of any gathering as well as the guests that will be attending. This can be done through photos or preparing a photo album they can hold and refer to during the event, as well as reviewing it beforehand. This can help reduce the chance of surprises and help them feel comfortable in knowing the environment and people they will see.   

6. Find Balance

An important holiday stress management tip is to work in some quiet, soothing activities with your kids to help them balance all the additional sensory input that comes during this time of year. And those quiet moments can benefit you, too. Furthermore, find balance in the ability to indulge in the yummy treats of the season without feeling guilty. It is common for healthy eating habits to take a backseat this time of year. But if you can balance out the sweets indulgence by increasing your water intake each day, you may feel more positive about enjoying the holiday treats. 

It’s also important to make sure to prioritize and set some time aside for self-care activities that help you relax, have fun, or feel energized. These activities could include talking with a friend, going for a walk, reading, listening to music, watching a holiday moving, or whatever else you enjoy. The important part of self-care is not so much what you do – it’s that you make time do it.   

7. Keep Structure

You and your child have schedules – daily, nightly, weekly routines. Keep as many things consistent as possible. For example, if you have self-care activities such as attending a workout class or getting your nails done, keep that commitment even during the busyness of the holidays. If your child has a nightly routine of taking a bath before bed, leave the holiday event with enough time to allow your kiddo to complete their routine. Keeping your typical agendas will set you and your family up for success during this hectic time. And if a change in your child’s routine is unavoidable, creating a holiday visual schedule can help them prepare and process what is coming. Here’s another great resource for holiday social stories and visual schedules. 

8. Avoid Perfectionism

So many caregivers are perfectionists by nature and the holidays can intensify the desire for things to be “just right.” Though this may be difficult, try and focus on the big picture of the holiday season by avoiding getting caught up in the little details. Give yourself permission to be less than perfect, write it down or say it out loud – “things do not need to be perfect this holiday season!” Letting go of perfection and focusing on connection, even in small ways, can help create moments of peace and joy during a challenging time.

9. Consider Dietary Restrictions

As you likely already know, autistic individuals are more likely than others to have dietary restrictions. This is something to be aware and mindful of, as well as make known to others so that your child isn’t excluded from participating in holiday meals and treats. Even if there are no dietary restrictions, having preferred food items around for your child can be an effective tool in helping them remain calm and comfortable in stressful situations. With this said, also be mindful of extreme amounts of sugar available and accessible, as this could also heighten stress and anxiety during the holidays.  

10. Sleep!

This is a small one and may seem somewhat cliché, but getting enough sleep is so important for stress management – especially around the holidays. With all the things we have to get done during this time of year, sleep often gets neglected. But we also know that lack of sleep makes most people more vulnerable to irritability, mood changes, forgetfulness, and much more. Protect your time to sleep by prioritizing what needs to get done today verses what can wait until tomorrow so that you aren’t sacrificing sleep for your “to do list”. Do your best to ensure that your child gets enough sleep, as well, as this can make a huge difference in their energy and behavior.  

Some of these holiday stress management tips may seem easier said than done. But we hope that you find at least a few of them helpful and easy to incorporate into your holiday season. Even if it’s just hearing that you CAN say no and set boundaries… doing so just may lead to a less stressful and more enjoyable season! 

And if you find your stress level increasing into the new year, our Counseling program helps parents of kids with autism, as well as children and teens on the spectrum. Contact us for more info. 

If you found these holiday stress management tips helpful, please share this post with others! 

Thankfulness and the Benefits of Gratitude

thankfulness and the benefits of gratitude

As we move into this season that places emphasis on gratitude and thankfulness, it can feel increasingly difficult to identify what we are grateful for given the ways of the world. Within the past few years, especially, it has been a time of increased stress, financial strain and even significant loss for many. We recognize that. But now more than ever it is important to stop to consider what you have to be grateful for. Whether it’s your health, your friends and family, career, your home, or something else, we hope you can identify at least one thing. So even with all the uncertainty in our world, we want to share this important information on the benefits of gratitude. 

The Benefits of Gratitude

The effects of practicing gratitude have been studied for roughly 15 years. As detailed below, practicing gratitude can directly impact our stress levels. One of our core beliefs here at Healing Haven is the importance of stress management for parents and caregivers, as well as for our staff. Whether you write thank you notes, keep a gratitude journal, or give a verbal expression of thankfulness to someone, you will experience many benefits both physically and mentally. And the practice of gratitude can have long-term benefits throughout the year. 

Sleep Better

Many research studies show that having an attitude of gratitude helps individuals have a better quality of sleep. People experience falling asleep faster and staying asleep longer. So, if quality sleep is a struggle, try writing down specific things you are grateful for. Taking a few minutes to do this before bed can have a positive impact on your sleep. 

Reduce Stress

Research reveals that people who practice gratitude are better able to manage the stressors that come in life. It could be that getting more sleep helps you handle stress better. Or it could be the dopamine that is released in your brain when you express thankfulness. 

In our line of work with individuals with autism and their families, we know how hard it can seem to be thankful due to the many areas of life that are made more challenging with an autism diagnosis. However, if you’re able to recognize and be thankful for the little things, you’ll experience the impact of a grateful mindset. 

Ease Depression 

There are specific gratitude exercises that can help ease depression. Experiments asking people to take part in an exercise to list three good moments or things at the end of each day reveal improvements in depression and overall happiness. Gratitude can reduce numerous toxic emotions like envy, resentment, regret, frustration and more, leading to an improved outlook on life. 

Healthier Body 

Researchers asked people how likely they were to participate in healthy behaviors like going to the doctor, exercise and healthy eating. They also asked them to rate their levels of gratitude. As reported in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, researchers found correlations between healthy behaviors and gratitude, suggesting that expressing thanks has a connection with people taking care of their bodies.  

Additionally, self-esteem studies reveal that gratitude can strengthen self-esteem by reducing social comparisons. A contributing factor in low self-esteem is being resentful toward others who have more money or better jobs. Those who practice gratitude regularly can more easily appreciate other people’s accomplishments, while simultaneously having security in their own self-worth, as opposed to those who don’t practice gratitude. 

There are so many benefits to having a grateful way of life that we can’t possibly list them here. This article on HelpGuide.org does a great job of listing and explaining the many benefits of gratitude, and this article from Purdue University has several great resources to reference, as well!

Incorporating Gratitude Into Your Life

Are you realizing you need to practice more gratitude in your life? If you’re looking for easy ways to get started, we’ve got you covered with these tips:

  1. Start and end your day with it. Say out loud one thing you’re grateful for in the morning and one thing right before you go to sleep.
  2. Write it down. Keep a gratitude journal – note one or more things you’re grateful for on a daily basis and write down your positive thoughts throughout the day.
  3. Switch it up. If you become aware of the negative of something or someone, switch it in your brain to a positive.
  4. Share it with others. Give at least one compliment or “thank you” daily. This can either be directly to someone or simply about your surroundings (ex.: “I love how quiet the office is today.”) And if you thank a coworker for a job well done, it may spread to others to recognize great work.
  5. Spare us the drama. Commit to not complaining, criticizing or gossiping for one week. This exercise may help you to realize how much energy you were spending on negative thoughts.

We hope these ideas help spark more gratitude in your life. But if you find yourself still struggling, please reach out for help! The numbers of people experiencing anxiety, depression, and stress is on a constant increase due to what’s happening in our world. Don’t go through this alone. We always have qualified counselors on staff that may be able to help you. Alternatively, consider reaching out to a friend for support. Remember – it’s okay to ask for help! 

The Benefits of Organized Space For Individuals With Autism

Have you ever tried working in a cluttered area? Or been distracted by noises or lighting while trying to focus? Most of us would not feel very successful if we were attempting to be productive in such an environment. For individuals with autism, distracting, messy work and play spaces can only magnify the struggle of focus when gaining new skills. Whether it’s your home or your child’s play area, keeping an organized space for individuals with autism reaps many benefits.

Why Organized Spaces for Individuals with Autism

A clean environment is an important element to the success of individuals with autism. In fact, it influenced the design of our clinics.  Our President & Founder Jamie McGillivary, MS, LLP, BCBA, LBA, intentionally chose the colors of the walls, the use of natural light and artificial natural light, simple layout and organized spaces. And these principles can carry over into the home environment too.

Less Distraction

Many individuals on the autism spectrum experience excessive sensory input. Consequently, distraction is common. Too much unnecessary clutter and detail can derail a child’s focus. Even minor messes that may be easy for a neurotypical child to ignore could cause attention issues for those on the spectrum. Minimizing unhelpful sensory experiences aids in a child with autism’s ability to focus.

Specifically, consider visual and auditory senses when designing a distraction-free space:

Visual

Keep walls simple in decoration to prevent overwhelm. Many kids with ASD notice minute details in the area around them. Tucking away supplies and toys in bins or cabinets out of sight reduces temptation to interact with them while also reducing distractions. For colors, utilize solid, soft tones such as green, blue and pink and avoid yellow as it can be overstimulating.

Auditory

Sensitivity to noise is a common symptom for kids with ASD. While neurotypical children may function easily with sounds considered background noise, those sounds may be incredibly distracting for children on the spectrum. Keep your child’s space as free as possible from traffic noises, humming machines, loud ticking clocks, and other potential “noise clutter.”

Enhances Organizational Skills

Organizational tasks that we deem simple may require more effort and practice for individuals with autism. A clean work environment promotes organization and productivity, which in turn helps a child acquire new skills. Designating organized areas helps individuals with autism predict what will take place in their workspace. Labeling areas such as drawers and cupboards can help kids practice putting their supplies and toys away when finished. This also helps reduce long-term clutter and ensures smoother transitions to new activities. Color coding is another fantastic way to make organizing easier for kids on the spectrum, as different colors represent different purposes for an area.

Reinforces Routine and Expectations

Organization helps an individual’s success and independence in following instructions. If a space is cluttered and messy, they will likely get more confused when trying to learn skills and complete routine tasks. According to research, organized and structured learning spaces aid kids in staying on-task and performing well academically. Structure helps you as a parent as well, as it can reduce the need for your assistance.

Tips for Your Home

If you believe your child could benefit from some decluttering and organization at home, here are a few ideas to get started. And remember, you don’t have to try all of these things at once!

  • Organize toys, art supplies, school materials, etc. into labeled areas and bins
  • Paint your child’s room a new, calming color
  • Tackle one room at a time and identify items you can remove or put away for a simplified and, hopefully, less stressful setting.

These ideas may not only benefit you, but your whole family may begin to feel some stress lift as a result of creating organized spaces for your child with autism.

And if you found this post helpful, please feel free to share it with others!

Top Gifts for Autistic Kids and Teens

top gifts for autistic kids and teens
top gifts for autistic kids and teens

Do you enjoy shopping for gifts for the holidays? Some relish the hunt for the “perfect gift”, while others stress over what to get their family and friends. And when you have a child or loved one on the autism spectrum, you may think finding a gift is even more challenging. However, it doesn’t have to be. We have created several gift guides over the years for those with autism (linked below), and this year we are continuing the tradition. We know parenting and caring for someone diagnosed with autism can add extra levels of stress, so we’re taking the challenge out of finding gifts for autistic kids and teens.

 

Let Their Interests Guide You

Here are a few things to keep in mind: Every autistic child or teen is unique, so remember to consider their individual interests. If they have an obsession with dinosaurs, trains, music, Legos or a certain super hero, then go with what they love! You can also consider supporting their development with gifts that will help them with communication, fine motor, socialization and sensory needs. And if the gift combines both their unique interest and a developmental need, then you’ve struck gold! Additionally, you don’t always have to go with the age recommendation for the toy or game. What is more important to consider is the child’s interest and where they are developmentally right now.

Creative Play and Fine Motor Development

These gift ideas are great for creative play, while also using their hands for fine motor skill development.

  • Playfoam is a foam material that can be shaped into anything, will not dry out, is non-stick and not messy! Kids can squeeze and mold it into all kids of shapes.
  • Kinetic Sand is a popular item because of it’s non-messy nature as well as all the fun ways you can build and create with it.
  • Legos are a popular toy for autistic kids. Lego groups for autistic teens and kids are used in therapy to develop communication and social skills. The limitless ways you can build and create with them, along with the way they develop fine motor dexterity and strength make these an awesome gift for all kids!
  • There are several popular magnet building toys. However, Magz-Bricks are different than the usual flat, triangle, square and rectangle magnets, providing a new way to create and use your hands!

Sensory Gift Ideas

Many kids and teens on the autism spectrum have sensory needs. The following gift ideas are wonderful resources to support their sensory needs: This Thomas and Friends Pop-Up Train Tent is a great way to provide a quiet respite for kids who may become overstimulated. And if they love trains, even better!

An Inflatable Pea Pod will help a child who benefits from pressure (being squeezed and hugged). This one is designed for children ages 6-12 and this one if for little ones ages 2-6. These pressure tools can help them calm down before bed, or if they become overly stimulated. And a pressure vest may be a great option for teenagers.

For kids who move a lot, keeping their fingers busy with fidgets is a great way to help them focus. This unique weighted glove is great for sensory input, and it also provides proprioceptive input (stimulates muscles and joints) during handwriting. Not to mention it looks cool! You could also go with a fidget bundle pack to provide a variety ways to keep their hands busy and help them focus. And if your child has trouble sitting still, an inflatable seating disc may help them with attention and focus.

Communication

Many autistic children and teens have communication delays. Our amazing team of speech pathologists put together a list of toys and books and the communication goals to target when playing with them. For example, Mr. and Mrs. Potato head provide a wide array of speech and language development from receptive and listening skills to practicing two word phrases, using pronouns and more.

National Autism Resources

For a plethora of more gift ideas for autistic teens and kids, check out the National Autism Resources website for games to develop social skills, tools to build independence, and many more incredible ideas.

Remember the Parents

Let’s face it, parents of autistic kids and teens are often under additional stress and juggle more than parents of neurotypical children. So if you’re a grandparent, aunt, uncle or friend of a child or teen on the autism spectrum, consider a gift for their parents! Something that encourages self-care, like a massage or a mani/pedi. Or even a gift card for carry out dinner takes some stress off their plate. And there is always the gift of your time to provide them the opportunity to get out of the house without kids!

Hopefully these ideas are helpful in finding a gift for your child, grandchild, niece or nephew. And if you’re local to us here in Metro Detroit and want to support a local business, there’s a great option for your shopping.   Toyolgy Toys has locations in West Bloomfield and Bloomfield Hills, and they have website ordering available.

And for more gift ideas, here are the links to check our other gift guides: 

Great Gift Ideas for Kids with Autism

2019 Gift Guide for Kids with Autism

Gift Ideas for Kids with Autism

And if you have a gift idea for an autistic child or teen, please share it in the comments below!

Healing Haven Hosting Open House

Farmington Hills Gym
Healing Haven Farmington Hills Clinic Open House

We are excited to announce our first expansion to a new part of Metro Detroit. After gradually expanding over the past 9 years to four clinics on our one-of-a-kind autism therapy campus in Madison Heights, we opened a new autism therapy clinic in Farmington Hills in September. Designed for children up to 8 years old, this new clinic provides ABA, Speech and Occupational Therapies.

To celebrate our new autism therapy clinic opening, we invite you to our upcoming Open House. Join us Wednesday, October 23 from 6-7:30 PM to get an inside look at this beautiful new space and meet members of our team. 

The Need for More Therapy Space

Healing Haven has always emphasized quality of care.  Our innovative autism therapy campus in Madison Heights provides ABA Therapy, Speech & Occupational Therapies, Developmental Testing and Counseling is one-of-a-kind in Metro Detroit. We have four clinics creatively designed to support individuals ages 2 through young adulthood. We also provide developmental testing and autism evaluations.  

With families driving from all over Metro Detroit to get to Madison Heights, and the growing number of families contacting us for services, our leadership team knew it was time to find more space to reach a wider population. We staffed our new Farmington Hills clinic with senior management from our Madison Heights campus to ensure a seamless transfer of therapy quality and our Healing Haven culture. And we strategically designed the clinic to emphasize the skills necessary to be successful in a school environment. A stand-out feature of this new clinic includes several large classrooms for kids to learn and practice social, play and communication skills with their peers. Additionally, there is a beautiful playground and group spaces to further promote skills necessary for school and community activities. Our speech and occupational therapy spaces allow us to integrate our multidisciplinary approach to maximize each child’s development.  

Who Should Attend the Open House?

Parents

Parents of children up to 8 years old in search of therapy services are encouraged to attend this Open House. Additionally, parents with concerns about their child’s development are welcome to come ask questions about our evaluation process. Testing and assessments take place on our Madison Heights campus. You will leave empowered with information, which is the first step in knowing how to best support your child.

Pediatricians, Teachers and Therapists

We encourage professionals working with individuals with autism and pediatricians to attend. You will learn about the supports available to your patients and students. 

Job Seekers

In addition, our HR Team will also be onsite for potential job seekers. Please stop by if you want to learn more about career opportunities working with children with autism. Open positions include Behavior Technicians, BCBAs, Occupational Therapists and Certified Occupational Therapy Assistants.  

What to Expect?

Mark your calendars to join us at our Open House Wednesday, October 23 from 6-7:30 PM.  Attendees should arrive at our Farmington Hills Clinic at 31440 Northwestern Hwy, Suite 180, Farmington Hills. Join us for refreshments, connect with our leadership team, and learn about our new clinic and innovative autism therapy services in a new part of Metro Detroit.

For more information contact us or call us at 248-965-3916. And please share this opportunity with your connections who would benefit from learning about our unique blend of services.

Our team is looking forward to a great evening and we hope to see you there!

Farmington Hills clinic classroom, autism therapy clinic open house
Farmington Hills clinic play area, autism therapy clinic open house
Farmington Hills Group Room, autism therapy clinic open house
Farmington Hills Gym
Farmington Hills Clinic Reading Nook
Farmington Hills Clinic Speech and OT room
Farmington Hills Clinic Playground
Farmington Hills Clinic interactive hallway activities
Farmington Hills Clinic Family Waiting Room

6 Ways to Calm a Child With Autism

child with autism calming strategies
calming strategies for child with autism

Raising a child with autism brings surprises and challenges. One possible difficulty parents might face is managing overstimulation and meltdowns.

While every child has rough moments, for a child on the spectrum meltdowns are different. They often happen when the child is overstimulated and cannot communicate why they are upset. A valuable way to cope when meltdowns occur is to learn ways to calm a child with autism.

In this post we provide ways to look out for possible overstimulation, strategies to help calm your child in the moment and ways to head them off before they happen. Through detailed preparation, you and your child will feel more equipped to handle big emotions the next time they experience distress.

Warning Signs

Meltdowns may occur out of the blue or perhaps they come after a specific trigger. This can be very stressful for not only the child but parents and other family members as well. However, certain displays of behavior can cue parents to when their child might be on the verge of a meltdown. Some of these behaviors may include:

  • Increased stimming- agitated hand flapping, body rocking, pacing, hands over ears
  • Loud vocalizing
  • Crying
  • Eloping – running away from a situation
  • Self-injurious behavior (SIB)- banging head, picking at skin, hitting or biting self

Perhaps it is a certain location, a noise, or denied access to something that set off your child. Keeping a log of triggers can help prepare you for future incidents and allows you to be proactive in recognizing and coping with meltdowns. And in the meantime, try some of the following six ways to calm a child with autism when they are in distress.

Addressing Sensory Needs

Children with autism often have many more sensory needs than an average neurotypical person. Deep pressure stimulation such as gentle head or shoulder squeezes can help kids feel secure and move their nervous system into the parasympathetic nervous system, also called “rest and digest.” When we are in the parasympathetic nervous system, our bodies feel safe and secure which in turn calms our minds.

Additionally, learn what objects or toys are soothing to your child and have them on hand. Keep a bag of sensory objects with your child that they can utilize when they are feeling overwhelmed. Fidget spinners, blankets, squishy toys, or chew toys can bring comfort to an overstimulated nervous system.

A sensory friendly “calm down corner” can also help quell meltdowns. At home, designate a safe area for your child that includes soft lighting, calming music or white noise, and comfortable items such as bean bags or pillows. If your child attends school, coordinate with teachers to create a calm down corner in the classroom. If you’re in public during an episode, remove your child from the triggering environment as soon as you can and take them to a neutral location.

The Power of Music

Music can be very therapeutic to individuals with autism. Music increases brain activity which in turn helps regulate emotions. Additionally, singing a favorite song of your child’s may help them relax, as familiarity can be grounding. Try softly singing or playing soothing quiet tunes on headphones to help your child self-regulate.

Deep Breathing

Breathing is very powerful in calming the mind and body and can assist in regulating emotions for a child with autism. Sit face-to-face with your child and have them breathe deeply with you. Counting inhales and exhales as they breathe is a helpful technique. The exhale places the body back into the parasympathetic nervous system so make sure your child is releasing all the air. Breathing together will also help you feel more calm during a meltdown.

Exercise

Moving and fresh air help all of us feel better and is another great strategy to calm a child with autism. Walk with your child around the block, visit a nearby park, or put on a kids yoga video to help them center.

Stick to Schedules

Sometimes unpredictability triggers a meltdown. Pre-planned agendas can provide comfort to children with autism so they know what’s coming next, reducing anxiety. You can even create visual schedules for your child to reference throughout the day, which can help them stay on task. There will obviously be times when the schedule needs to change last minute, but try to give your child as much notice as possible.

Avoid Reinforcing Behavior

It’s natural to become worked up and overwhelmed watching your child experience such high levels of distress. But it’s important to avoid displaying strong emotions in front of your child in the heat of the moment in order to avoid reinforcing their behaviors. Remain as calm as you can and focus on deescalating your child through whichever method they respond best to. But be sure to make space to process your own emotions after the episode so you can regulate as well.

We hope these six ways to calm a child with autism will help you and your child the next time a meltdown arises. Know that you are not alone and that it is ok to feel overwhelmed. Our parent training resources include strategies in addressing specific meltdown situations. For more info, visit our ABA Parent Training page.

Water Safety Tips for Children with Autism

It’s summertime, which usually equates to a lot of time outside. And with pools open and all the lakes here in Michigan, that often means time in and around water. While swimming and playing in water are fun and great exercise, it can also be very dangerous. In fact, just last year the Michigan Department of Natural Resources issued a new flag warning level for the Great Lakes. Because of the increased danger lakes and pools have, water safety for children with autism, or any child, is extremely critical. 

Why water safety is so important for children with autism

Children with autism, as well as Down syndrome, often wander, which can obviously be very unsafe if they get close to water unsupervised. Additionally, drowning can occur without making any sound. Children may also be unaware of things such as water depth, water temperature, water currents, or slippery surfaces. Not every child likes to be in the water, especially children that struggle with sensory issues. However, all children should still be aware of water safety in case of accidental slips or falls into a pool or lake. 

This statistic is scary and sobering, but every parent of an autistic child needs to know – drowning is a leading cause of death for children with autism. We’ve compiled some tips and ideas to teach water safety to your child with autism to help you prepare for this season. 

Get your child in swimming lessons 

Every child should learn to swim, and for children with special needs, it’s important the skill is taught in a way that resonates with them. Make sure the teaching environment is not too distracting or overwhelming for your child. 

There are many programs that provide adaptive swimming lessons for children with special needs. You can start by contacting your local YMCA. And the National Autism Association’s Big Red Safety Toolkit for caregivers provides an excellent guide and resources for managing wandering, as well as how to find swim lessons in your area. 

Provide reinforcers

Have reinforcers and preferred items available when your child performs important or difficult tasks related to water safety. This could include tolerating getting into the water, using appropriate safety gear, getting out when a whistle is blown for “adult swim time,” or leaving the pool when instructed. 

Visual learning of water safety

Use video narratives, social stories, or visual routines to teach water safety. The Swim Angelfish channel on YouTube, for example, is a great resource which provides a variety of videos that can be utilized to teach water safety to kids with disabilities. 

Many children with autism spectrum disorder are rules-driven, so use that to your advantage. Set specific rules for how they are to behave around water. Then practice those rules in real world situations. And if you have a pool at home, or live on/near a lake, consider placing “STOP” or “DO NOT ENTER” signs on doors that open to the outside, or gates to the pool. 

Use appropriate swim gear

Even if your child knows how to swim, it’s still a great precaution to use a life jacket or flotation device around water, whether they are planning on swimming or not. It can also offer reassurance when attempting a new skill and teaching independence. The especialneeds website is a great place to purchase special needs and sensory-friendly water gear, if needed.  

Teach key information

Because of the high percentage of wandering in kids with autism – nearly 50% – make sure your child knows his or her name, address, and phone number in the event he or she is separated from you. If your child does not speak, make sure they wear a bracelet, tag, tattoo, etc. with their name and your name and phone number. 

Set up your environment vigilantly 

Even if you feel confident that your child thoroughly understands the rules of water safety, accidents can still happen. It’s important to prepare for the worst so that nothing slips through the cracks. When preparing your environment near water, consider installing fences or gates with alarms around the body of water, if applicable. Additionally, you should also think about placing alarms or chimes on doors that open to bodies of water and keep toys of interest away from the water when not in use. Taking these measures will ensure that life-threatening wandering doesn’t take place.  

Communicate with others

Talk with your neighbors, whether at home or on vacation. Ask them to contact you immediately if they see your child wandering alone outside your home or property. Even if you don’t own a pool, but your neighbors do, ask them to be particularly aware of your child wandering near their property. 

We hope these ideas help you implement water safety for your child with autism. And for more general recommendations for pools, beaches, lakes, etc., check out this swimming safety guide. We want everyone to have a less stressful and more enjoyable summer! 

If you found this information helpful, we’d love it if you’d share it with others!

Autism Acceptance and Finding Community

autism acceptance and finding community
parents meeting for coffee

April is here again, which means it is time to celebrate and honor Autism Acceptance Month. Previously called Autism Awareness Month, the recognized period was started in 1972 by the Autism Society as National Autistic Children’s Week. It evolved from that into an entire month of recognition. In 2021, it was renamed from Autism Awareness Month to Autism Acceptance Month.  

The Difference Between Awareness and Acceptance 

The evolution of this nationally celebrated month’s name is due to the need to move beyond “awareness”. Today, many people are already “aware” of autism, and have been for some time. This elevated awareness has led to an increase in autism diagnoses since the disorder’s discovery. Currently, autism is prevalent in 1 in 36 children aged 8 years old, according to the CDC. With that said, being aware of autism is vastly different than accepting individuals with autism. This month, we emphasize the ability to accept individuals with autism. One way this can be done is through meaningful action with a focus on parents of individuals with autism.  

Taking Action by Finding Community

Something that many people do not consider when they think of a child receiving an autism diagnosis is the toll it can have on the child’s parents and family. The impact of an autism diagnosis is that it can feel isolating. And that feeling of “being alone” can make it challenging for parents to find the support and community they need. In addition, support is not always readily available. That is why for this Autism Acceptance Month, we want to focus on the importance of finding community for people with autism and their families.  

How Support Groups Can Help

Support groups are wonderful because they can serve multiple different purposes at once. But helping people connect with others who share similar experiences is what makes them essential for families impacted by autism. Support groups provide an abundance of resources. They also are filled with people who can relate to what you may be feeling. The people in these groups can help give advice for managing the unique ups and downs that come with raising a child on the spectrum. You, in turn, can help others who may have questions. Support groups also provide a wonderful place to share accomplishments along with challenges and create friendships for both you and your child.  

Where to Find Support

In Michigan:  

Michigan Alliance for Families has many resources for families impacted by autism. Parents can search for local events, get information on ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) services, educational services, and other supports. Their Navigators are available by phone to help families find autism assistance throughout Michigan.  

If your child is receiving therapy services, other parents are a great place to start to find those who are understanding of your situation. Ask your child’s BCBA or Therapist if there are some parents you can connect with. Or, stop and strike up a conversation with another parent when you are at the clinic. You never know what kind of friendship may develop! 

In All States and Online: 

Parents Helping Parents offers an online support group that meets once a month to discuss autism resources and stories. As the website explains, this can be a terrific way to connect and learn from parents who may share a similar story to your own. In addition to parents, anyone who works with children on the spectrum is encouraged to check it out.  

Healthline has an abundance of autism resources, ranging from general information to education and government benefit resources. They also specify resources for specific age groups and list multiple support groups and organizations for autistic individuals and their allies.  

Facebook is a place where you can find a group page for about anything. And that does not exclude support groups for parents of autistic children! This can be a wonderful place to meet other parents and discuss ideas, struggles, and accomplishments. Facebook groups are a place you can learn more about the autism community. Healing Haven even has their own private group specially created for parents of clients only. 

The Benefits of Autism Acceptance

An important thing to remember is that an autism diagnosis does not define a child or their family. Additionally, those with autism should never be underestimated. No one knows what the future holds.  

The more parents find a community and the support they need, the more likely they are to accept their new circumstances, which helps communicate autism acceptance to our broader communities. Through acceptance of our personal situations and finding others who understand, we can reduce our stress levels and bring richness to our lives. Additionally, it is important to note that acceptance applies to everyone. Parents who accept their child’s diagnosis can be fully present to support them. In addition, all of us learning to accept our neighbor, nephew, child’s classmate, who has autism, will set an example to others. And simultaneously, we will help create a community for that family to feel included. Through acceptance we help spread empathy and kindness of others’ differences. By living out acceptance we can make an impact far beyond the autism community. 

We hope you have found these resources to be helpful and we encourage you to share any information discovered here with your friends and family. Please feel free to leave a comment if this impacted you in a significant way. Happy Autism Acceptance Month! 

How to Manage Your Stress in Uncertain Times

how to manage your stress

We originally created this post during the pandemic shutdown of 2020 when stress was particularly high world-and-nationwide. But as humans we often go through times of uncertainty and stress, so the principles and tips highlighted in this blog post can help us at any time. We hope that you can utilize some of the information provided to manage your own stress!

Learning how to manage your stress is an important skill to master for many reasons, ranging from showing up for yourself and others to maintaining good health. Let’s first start with understanding how stress impacts our bodies and what it can look like so you can identify it. Then we’ll look at our perspective in stressful situations and how we can direct it. And then finally we’ll provide a variety of tools and techniques to help you manage your stress.

Stress and Our Bodies

Our bodies were designed to engage in the stress response for life-threatening situations – fight, flight or freeze response. Think lions in the brush. So, even when the stressor is not life-threatening, our bodies react inside like it is. Hormones in our bodies lead us to the fight, flight or freeze response. When our stress response kicks in, our behaviors and thinking patterns becomes less flexible. Also, chronic stress breaks down the body leading to a weakened immune system and an increased likelihood of disease.

What Stress Might Look Like

Mental

  • Trouble thinking clearly
  • Memory problems
  • Can’t concentrate
  • Short attention span
  • Poor judgement
  • Anxious or racing throughs
  • Constant worrying

Physical

  • Tightness in muscles
  • Aches and pains
  • Headaches, trembling, sweating
  • Nausea, dizziness
  • Chest pain, rapid heartbeat
  • Loss of appetite
  • Lack of sleep, nightmares

Emotional

  • Moodiness
  • Easily upset or hurt
  • Irritability or short temper
  • Agitation, unable to relax or keep still
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Sense of loneliness and isolation
  • Depression or general unhappiness

Behavioral

  • Eating more or less
  • Sleeping too much or too little
  • Isolating yourself from others
  • Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
  • Using alcohol, cigarettes or drugs to relax
  • Nervous habits like nail biting, pacing, etc.

5 Myths About Stress

The following are some common misconceptions regarding stress:

  1. Myth: In an ideal world, there would be no stress.
    Truth: A little stress is natural and healthy and can help motivate us.
  2. Myth: What is stressful to me is stressful to you.
    Truth: Perspective, culture & personal history play a role.
  3. Myth: Only unpleasant situations are stressful.
    Truth: New job, new home & a new love can all be positive AND stressful.
  4. Myth: No symptoms, no stress.
    Truth: Symptoms are a warning sign but might not be present or you might not be tuned into symptoms.
  5. Myth: Stress is inevitable, so you can’t do anything about it.
    Truth: Techniques can be learned to prevent some stress & be less impacted by stress that you can’t control.

Perspective Is Key

Our perspective of the situation we are in is KEY. Worrying about things we cannot control is not only fruitless but can be self-destructive. There are certain behavioral patterns associated with interpreting events less stressfully:

  1. Viewing potentially stressful events as interesting and meaningful
  2. Considering change as normal and an opportunity for growth
  3. Believing oneself as capable of having influence on some events

You Have a Choice in How You Respond to Stressful Situations

In most situations, stress begins with a thought. We may not be able to control the event, but we can control our response to the event. Our choice is to respond with curiosity, interest, and an open-mind  (solution-orientated) or to respond with a closed mind, negativity, dismissiveness & hopelessness.

More effective ways to respond to a stressful situation include:

  • Gratitude: “I appreciate….”, “I am thankful for…”
  • Acceptance: “It’s ok….”, “I can go with the flow…”
  • Discovery: “I wonder…”, “What can I learn from this?”
  • Observation: “I am noticing….”

Identifying and Understanding Your Values

80th Birthday Party Exercise

A great way to identify and understand what your values are is to think about what you would want people to say about you at your 80th birthday party. Write down the qualities and characteristics you want people to know you for. Assess what is most important in your life. When your choices are guided by the values and goals that are most important to you, your life can be full and active, yet not stressful.

The Choice Point

Your choices either take you toward who you want to be, or away from who you want to be. The Choice Point is being in a difficult moment and experiencing difficult sensations and making a choice to move towards your values or away from your values. Taking action at a point in time that leads you towards your values, leads you to a more fulfilling life. Take a look at this video – The Choice Point: A Map for a Meaningful Life.

Psychological Flexibility

As mentioned earlier, our stress response kicks in, our behaviors and thinking patterns becomes less flexible. So here are some ways we can train ourselves to have psychological flexibility.

  • Being here now means being in the present moment (as opposed to thinking of the past or the future).
  • Accepting the way I feel means not avoiding unpleasant thoughts or feelings. Instead, sitting with them, experiencing them with compassion, curiosity and acceptance until they pass.
  • Noticing my thoughts means seeing thoughts as just thoughts. They come, they go. They are just what the brain does, makes thoughts. I don’t have to buy into my thoughts. They do not define me.
  • Doing what I care about means taking action to live life in accordance with my values.

Are Your Thoughts Helpful?

Check in with your actions or ‘away moves’ that take you away from your path, sometimes they are “good”, but not for long periods of times. If you are buying in to the story your mind is telling you, first take a moment to check out its WORKABILITY. Workability is when we see if our story helps us follow the path toward our meaningful life or does it move us away?

Thank your mind for your thoughts. This means you don’t have to buy into your thoughts. You can see them for what they are, thoughts. It also means you are not trying to replace your thoughts with more desirable thoughts, nor are you trying to stop or reduce your thoughts.

Avoidance

Avoiding our negative feelings and thoughts will not lead us to our values but to more suffering.

Avoidance of thoughts actually increases those thoughts in both frequency and strength and therefore their burden upon us.

Mindfulness

Instead of avoiding our thoughts and feelings, embracing the present moment and sitting with those thoughts and feelings, in a non-judgmental way, with curiosity and acceptance, helps us move toward our values. Mindfulness is the intentional, accepting and non-judgmental focus of one’s attention on the emotions, thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment.

A few mindfulness resources to check out:

5 Myths of Mindfulness – Dr. Russ Harris (3:25 min)

Body Scan – Dr. Joseph Ciarrochi (27 min) http://josephciarrochi.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/body_scan.mp3

Awareness of the breath – M. Rassmusen (10 min)  https://contextualscience.org/files/Mindfulness%20of%20Breath%20Rasmussen%20mp3.mp3

Managing Your Stress

It’s important to find some relaxation methods that you can incorporate into your life for better management of your stress, which leads to better health!

Taking care of yourself

Some of these seem like a no-brainer, but it’s a good reminder that during stressful times, these basic elements can help tremendously in managing your stress.

  • Exercise – Even minimal exercise leaves you feeling better!
  • Good Food – Fuel your body with healthy foods. Whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies.
  • Sleep – Find ways to get that 8 hours of sleep. Get creative if needed.
  • Be realistic with your expectations for yourself and others.
  • Have patience and grace with yourself and others.
  • Use perspective taking to help understand other people – How you express your emotions, might not be the same as others.
  • Take a moment away for yourself when you need it.

Guided Imagery & Meditation

Guided Imagery & Meditation are essentially methods of focus. Focus on the breath, on a light, on a mantra. Benefits include decreased stress, increased focus, better sleep, improved heart health and immunity. Many exercises can be found on-line. Find one that resonates with you and find a quiet place to focus on yourself.

Yoga

Yoga has many variations. Find the one that fits your needs and a quiet place to practice. Yoga increases strength, flexibility and mindfulness and improves balance, focus and posture. It has been demonstrated to decrease stress, anxiety, improve health factors such as heart and immune health, improve sleep and focus. Many apps and YouTube resources are available for you to browse through.

How to Manage Your Stress Recap

Check in with your stress levels during this unprecedented time. Look to see how your perspective is influencing your thoughts. Look at your choices to respond. Remember your values and what actions lead you toward them and which ones lead you away from them. Be psychologically flexible: “I am here now, accepting the way I feel, and noticing my thoughts, while doing what I care about.” Avoidance of negative thoughts just gives them more power, acceptance is more adaptive. Utilize stress management techniques like intentional focus on taking care of yourself, mindfulness, yoga, guided imagery and more! We hope these recommendations and resources are helpful as you seek to manage your stress during these challenging days.

Need Additional Help?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Resources

ACT books

  • Get Out of Your Mind and into Your Life by Steven C. Hayes
  • The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
  • Act Made Simple by Russ Harris
Counseling Services

Seek out professional support. We and many others have counseling services that may be able to help. And our counselors understand the complexities of being a parent to a child with autism. Contact us today for more details.

This content is from a webinar Dr. Jennifer Thomas, PhD, BCBA-D, LBA, Vice President of Clinical Operations at Healing Haven, and Danielle Harrison, MA, LPC, Counselor at Healing Haven presented to parents. You can download a copy of the slides here.

Uncovering Interests and Talents Through ABA Therapy

Two people playing the piano together.

When people think about ABA Therapy, they typically envision an environment rich in opportunities to promote communication, social skills and play skills. But what many people may not consider is that ABA Therapy can also help develop an individual’s vocational interests and jumpstart hobbies, which is especially important for individuals with autism. This post shares the story of one client who turned an interest into a new skill.  

The client, who will not be named for privacy purposes, found himself paired up with Healing Haven Registered Behavior Technician, Alex Levy, in fall of 2022. During their daily therapy sessions, the duo uncovered that they had a shared interest in music. With this, they both gravitated toward playing the piano in our music room. 

Many clients, employees, and parents alike have heard the floating, peaceful melodies of the piano filling the air in our clinic throughout the past year. Alex can often be heard practicing outside of his ABA Therapy hours. If heard during therapy hours, however, it is likely Alex playing piano with his client or his client playing solo. 

The power of music

Alex said his interest in learning to play the piano began when he saw a coworker playing it. “It just sounded very serene and peaceful,” said Alex. He has been taking advantage of the in-clinic piano, practicing on it for nearly a year. 

When Alex began working with his client, neither of them knew much about playing the piano. But once Alex started experimenting with tunes and sounds, his client began to gravitate toward it, too.  

The client’s Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA), Amanda, said that Alex and his client’s bond is an amazing and beautiful one to see. “Alex has been able to connect with him and engage with him on a whole new level,” she said. “I am still in shock whenever I do a supervision session and hear [the client] play a new song or show me a new skill he has learned on the piano. They both make me want to learn to play too!”

Recognizing your child’s interests

The mother of Alex’s client reports that her son has had a noticeable interest in music since he was a toddler. “We have pictures of him trying to play different instruments,” she said. “We also have pictures of him from a few years ago also trying to play the piano at Costco.” 

She said that, considering her son’s past interest in music and the piano, she wasn’t surprised to hear he was toying around with the piano at Healing Haven. What was surprising was the level to which her son was learning and developing musically.  

The magnitude of his talent became apparent one day when she took her son to get a haircut. She explained that the establishment she takes him to has a bounce house and a piano in the back to be enjoyed by the clients afterwards as a reward.  

“He just sat down at the piano and started to play something and I was so surprised and excited to hear him,” exclaimed the client’s mom. “I recorded him and showed my husband and family. I mentioned it to Alex later and he said, ‘yeah, he’s actually really good and is picking it up.’ We were so happy to hear that!”  

A flourishing talent

A tune Alex began learning early on in his piano journey is Viva La Vida by Coldplay. The catchy, repetitive, and uplifting chords captured his client’s attention immediately. This became a song heard regularly around the clinic. After a short amount of time, it was indistinguishable if it was Alex or his young client playing.  

Aside from Viva La Vida, Alex said his client likes to practice Beethoven tunes as well as various other classic melodies. “Usually when we play the piano together, my client likes to mimic whatever I play. However, he does add a lot of different variations to the things that I play or have shown him,” Alex said.  

The client’s mom is unsure if her son can read music notes or if he relies on sounds and visuals he receives from Alex’s playing. Alex believes it is the latter, which isn’t an unusual special ability for individuals on the autism spectrum.  

Alex can relate to this skill, as he is also on the spectrum. “Being on the spectrum definitely has helped me increase pattern recognition when it comes to learning to play instruments, but I do like to think I have a little bit of talent,” Alex joked.  

The benefits of music

There are many benefits of playing music for those on the autism spectrum. The client’s mom thinks her son’s newfound hobby and passion has made a positive impact on his behavior. “I think he goes to play when he needs to relax and sort of unwind from the day,” she said. “I would also say it has given him some extra confidence. He loves when we clap and cheer him on while he plays. He gets a big smile on his face and seems to stand taller when he gets up.”  

Amanda can attest to this. She said she has noticed that her client loves having others listen to and watch him play the piano and that he has even allowed peers to play alongside him. “Usually, he only wants his therapists and familiar people around him, but this has allowed him to let other people into his world,” Amanda said.

Alex has noticed a difference in his client’s behavior in the clinic as he’s gotten more involved in playing the piano as well. “It’s kind of given him more of a sense of entertainment and joy,” Alex said.  

Last November, another Healing Haven parent gifted a piano to the client’s family after hearing him play in the clinic and learning that the family was seeking an in-home piano for him.  The family is hoping to start piano lessons at home soon. Alex’s plans for playing the piano include getting an in-home piano and making more time to practice. 

Helping your child with autism find their passion

“The interest in music has always been there for him [her son], but ABA and his therapist provided the opportunity for him to learn and explore playing the piano,” said the client’s mom. “We wouldn’t have known that he has the passion and talent for piano if not for his exposure and opportunity during his therapy sessions.” 

At Healing Haven, we love to help children discover their interests and passions through our ABA Therapy. If you’re looking for potential hobbies to try out with your child, check out this list of ideas.