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Continue readingDeveloping School and Community Skills for Children with Autism
6 Ways to Build a Positive Relationship With Your Child’s Teacher
As a parent of a child with autism, you want to know your child will be cared for at school. You want to send them to a quality learning environment and for their educators to know and understand your child. In order for your child to be successful, a positive relationship with your child’s teacher is a must. And establishing that relationship can also help alleviate stress on you. (This is a foundation of who we are at Healing Haven – providing strategies for parents to help manage their stress when you’re parenting a child with special needs.)
Here are some ways to foster positive teamwork between you and your child’s teacher to ensure a good school experience for your child.
1. Communicate well
This one is intentionally listed at the top- good communication is key to any healthy relationship! It is the foundation to how the school year will play out, how you will work through concerns, and greatly influences your child’s degree of success.
When communicating, especially for the first time, address your child’s teacher by their professional title and use a friendly tone. Remember to keep communication with your child’s teacher ongoing throughout the year rather than confined to only IEP meetings and parent/teacher conferences.
2. Start communication early
If you haven’t already, now is a good time to reach out to your child’s teacher. Though the beginning of the school year is typically very hectic for teachers, they highly appreciate this. Teachers often reach out first to parents, but you proactively reaching out shows the teacher you want to be on the same team. Establishing a positive relationship early can help ease solving problems later, as previously established trust provides a common foundation. Ask any and all questions you might have for your child’s teacher to solidify expectations. This keeps you in-the-know about what will happen in the classroom. And if your child has both a general education and a special education teacher, make sure to communicate with both of them.
3. Respect and trust
A trusting relationship between parent and teacher is almost guaranteed to help the teacher better understand the child. Likewise, practicing empathy strengthens relationships. Teachers, just like you in your role as a parent, are doing their best amidst many challenges. Even though it may be hard at first, err on the side of trust with the teacher. Most teachers would not be in their job if they did not want to put their students first and work for their best. Ally with your child’s teacher on the premise that you both want what is best for your child.
4. Go to the teacher first
Another way to build a positive relationship with your child’s teacher is to communicate concerns with the teacher first. It can be off-putting to the teacher when parents skip over communicating with them and go right to the principal to address issues or concerns. If no resolution is reached with the teacher, then consider bringing your concerns to administration.
5. Share about your child
6. Show appreciation
Showing appreciation is incredibly impactful in building a positive relationship with your child’s teacher. Teachers often hear about the things they are doing wrong, which is very wearisome. Show your appreciation for your child’s teacher throughout the year in small ways, such as sending notes of encouragement and thanks. When the teacher does something you appreciate or value, tell them. Little acts of appreciation mean a lot to teachers as they manage so many pieces.
BONUS Tip: Be a participative parent
We have added this one since we first published this post, so this is our bonus seventh tip: participate in your child’s classroom activities and events, if possible! Not only does participating give you a chance to experience your child’s classroom atmosphere, it shows the teacher that you care and want to be involved. Doing this can also be a great way of meeting other parents and building a community.
A note if your child also does ABA Therapy
Another important person to be brought into this parent/teacher relationship is your child’s BCBA. As teachers become more familiar with ABA therapy and how it benefits their students with autism, introducing them to your child’s BCBA can lead to a collaborative relationship between school and ABA.
Some of our BCBAs attend their client’s IEP meetings. They are another expert voice that can help ensure the proper supports are in place at school so your child can be as successful as possible. BCBAs may also share with a client’s teacher strategies they use in the clinic. By bringing together all professionals working with your child, you can help create a more cohesive learning and therapy experience for your child.
All in all, cooperation between yourself and your child’s teacher not only benefits your child, but can also benefit you in reducing the potential stress of school, IEPs and supports. Remember that teachers want the best for their students and you want the best for your child. Unite on this premise and your child is likely to thrive!
Top Autism-Friendly Vacation Spots
Does the thought of going on vacation with your child with autism stress you out? Taking an individual with ASD away from their familiar environment and routine, to a place that may not understand their unique needs is no idea of a vacation for most parents. But thankfully there are many theme parks and resorts that are taking extra steps to create autism-friendly vacation destinations. In addition, there are also several cities throughout America that are Certified Autism Destinations (CADs). There really are places that are fun for everyone, including kids with autism spectrum disorder and other developmental needs.
Here’s our list of the top autism-friendly vacation spots:
Theme Parks –
Sesame Place®
As the first theme park in the world to be designated as a Certified Autism Center (CAC), Sesame Place is a perfect place to enjoy a variety of fun rides, shows and activities for every member of your family. They have earned this designation from the International Board of Credentialing and Continuing Education Standards (IBCCES). Sesame Place currently has two locations – one in Langhorne, Pennsylvania, and the other in San Diego, California. Both locations are recognized for their thorough training of their employees on autism, sensory awareness, social skills, communication, motor skills, emotional awareness and much more!
On top of their trained staff, the park also has quiet rooms, noise-canceling headphones and low-sensory areas. They also provide low-sensory parade viewings, special character dining accommodations and meet-and-greets with Julia, Sesame Street’s first character with autism.
LEGOLAND Resorts
Located outside Orlando, LEGOLAND Florida added new features in 2017 to become an autism-friendly destination. LEGOLAND New York and LEGOLAND California followed suit shortly after. They created quiet rooms for families to take a break, equipped with noise-cancelling headphones, weighted blankets and LEGO building tables. The resort also offers a “blue hero pass” for guests on the spectrum. The pass allows the guest and their family expedited access to popular attractions.
In addition to specialized training to equip their new employees with skills to more effectively interact with guests on the autism spectrum, the LEGOLAND Training & Development team created social stories to provide an illustrated, step-by-step walk-through of every theme park ride and show. This allows guests to know ahead of time what rides have loud noises, periods of darkness, bright lights or other elements that might be overwhelming for some. All of these special touches make LEGOLAND stand out as an autism-friendly vacation spot.
Peppa Pig Theme Park in Orlando, Florida
Adjacent to LEGOLAND Florida, this special park, created in 2022, is not only great for young children who have never been to a theme park, but also for children with disabilities! The park is partnered with the IBCCES and is an accredited CAS, offering many useful tools to optimize the experience of those on the spectrum. These tools include similar ones to what LEGOLAND offers, such as a “Hero Access Pass”, which allows guests who have trouble waiting in lines expedited access to popular attractions, and downloadable sensory and accessibility guides. Check out this new and fun park that your child is guaranteed to enjoy!
Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
Situated in the Smoky Mountains, Dollywood features a natural environment with lots of trees for shade, creeks running through the park, and a less crowded feel than many theme parks. Even with this setting, employees observed parents using bathrooms to try to calm overstimulated kids. As a result, the Dollywood team set out to create a haven for families that needed a break. In 2016 they added a Calming Room, which includes items like weighted blankets, fiber optic strands, a teepee and comfy soft places to relax. In 2017 they added a Calming Corner at its water park. Dollywood has certainly shown why they are an autism-friendly vacation spot.
Tradewinds Resort in St. Petersburg, Florida
Recognized as an autism-friendly resort by the Center for Autism and Related Disabilities, Tradewinds Resort on St. Pete Beach offers a wonderful vacation get-away for families who have a child with autism. At check-in they have room safety kits that provide parents with a door alarm, outlet covers and more. Additionally, they offer temporary safety tattoos, highlighting how this resort has thought of many details other places have not. Furthermore, their popular Konk Club (“Kids Only, No Kidding”) staff are trained in autism awareness. Parents can plan with the staff before they arrive to make their child’s visit as fun and stress-free as possible. They also created a downloadable social story to prepare kids for their vacation stay at the resort.
Cities and Other Locations –
Surfside Beach, South Carolina
Proud to be named the world’s first official autism-friendly destination, Surfside Beach, South Carolina is a perfect choice for families wanting a beach vacation that provides specialized options for their child with autism. Located south of Myrtle Beach on the coast of the Atlantic Ocean, Surfside Beach is unique in what they do not have – loud or overstimulating boardwalks and crowded beaches. They also partnered with CAN (Champion Autism Network) to create the CAN Card. Showing the CAN Card is a subtle way to let participating attractions, restaurants, hotels and resorts know that they have a family member with autism. Participating businesses are trained in how to accommodate the variety of needs a child with autism can have.
Visalia, California
Visalia, a Certified Autism Destination, offers several attractions, hotels, and businesses that are Certified Autism Centers, CACs, (specially trained through IBCCES). Whether your child likes going to the museum or simply exploring a downtown area, there is plenty to do for all members of the family in this city. Find out more over on the Visalia’s tourism site.
Mesa, Arizona
Mesa, recognized as the country’s first Autism Certified City, is similar to Visalia in that it is filled with CACs. In addition, the city encourages the option of a Live Life Limitless Passport, a digital passport “that serves as a tour of the destination”, providing all locations and attractions within the city that are CACs through text and email. Discover more about what this special city has to offer on their website.
High Point, North Carolina
High Point, the first CAD on the east coast of the country, offers endless options for the whole family. With a variety of autism-friendly attractions, restaurants, and lodging options, High Point is prepared to host your family’s vacation. The High Point website has even taken some of the planning stress off your shoulders by preparing an itinerary of what to do and when to do it! Or you can customize the itinerary to your family’s specific interests. Visit the city’s website to learn more.
Additional Resources
We hope these ideas for autism-friendly vacation spots help you to plan a get-away that your entire family will enjoy! To find a more expansive list of IBCCES-verified autism-friendly destinations, visit Autism Travel. We also wrote a companion blog post to this one, which includes destinations closer to Michigan, as well as international destinations.
Please let us know in the comments if you’ve found another park, resort, or destination that was perfect for your family!
Water Safety Tips for Children with Autism
It’s summertime, which usually equates to a lot of time outside. And with pools open and all the lakes here in Michigan, that often means time in and around water. While swimming and playing in water are fun and great exercise, it can also be very dangerous. In fact, the Michigan Department of Natural Resources has a new flag warning level for the Great Lakes. Because of the increased danger lakes and pools have, water safety for children with autism, or any child, is extremely critical.
Why water safety is so important for children with autism
Children with autism, as well as Down syndrome, often wander, which can obviously be very unsafe if they get close to water unsupervised. Additionally, drowning can occur without making any sound. Children may also be unaware of things such as water depth, water temperature, water currents, or slippery surfaces. Not every child likes to be in the water, especially children that struggle with sensory issues. However, all children should still be aware of water safety in case of accidental slips or falls into a pool or lake.
This statistic is scary and sobering, but every parent of an autistic child needs to know – drowning is a leading cause of death for children with autism. We’ve compiled some tips and ideas to teach water safety to your child with autism to help you prepare for this season.
Get your child in swimming lessons
Every child should learn to swim, and for children with special needs, it’s important the skill is taught in a way that resonates with them. Make sure the teaching environment is not too distracting or overwhelming for your child.
There are many programs that provide adaptive swimming lessons for children with special needs. You can start by contacting your local YMCA. And the National Autism Association’s Big Red Safety Toolkit for caregivers provides an excellent guide and resources for managing wandering, as well as how to find swim lessons in your area.
Provide reinforcers
Have reinforcers and preferred items available when your child performs important or difficult tasks related to water safety. This could include tolerating getting into the water, using appropriate safety gear, getting out when a whistle is blown for “adult swim time,” or leaving the pool when instructed.
Visual learning of water safety
Use video narratives, social stories, or visual routines to teach water safety. The Swim Angelfish channel on YouTube, for example, is a great resource which provides a variety of videos that can be utilized to teach water safety to kids with disabilities.
Many children with autism spectrum disorder are rules-driven, so use that to your advantage. Set specific rules for how they are to behave around water. Then practice those rules in real world situations. And if you have a pool at home, or live on/near a lake, consider placing “STOP” or “DO NOT ENTER” signs on doors that open to the outside, or gates to the pool.
Use appropriate swim gear
Even if your child knows how to swim, it’s still a great precaution to use a life jacket or flotation device around water, whether they are planning on swimming or not. It can also offer reassurance when attempting a new skill and teaching independence. The especialneeds website is a great place to purchase special needs and sensory-friendly water gear, if needed.
Teach key information
Because of the high percentage of wandering in kids with autism – nearly 50% – make sure your child knows his or her name, address, and phone number in the event he or she is separated from you. If your child does not speak, make sure they wear a bracelet, tag, tattoo, etc. with their name and your name and phone number.
Set up your environment vigilantly
Even if you feel confident that your child thoroughly understands the rules of water safety, accidents can still happen. It’s important to prepare for the worst so that nothing slips through the cracks. When preparing your environment near water, consider installing fences or gates with alarms around the body of water, if applicable. Additionally, you should also think about placing alarms or chimes on doors that open to bodies of water and keep toys of interest away from the water when not in use. Taking these measures will ensure that life-threatening wandering doesn’t take place.
Communicate with others
Talk with your neighbors, whether at home or on vacation. Ask them to contact you immediately if they see your child wandering alone outside your home or property. Even if you don’t own a pool, but your neighbors do, ask them to be particularly aware of your child wandering near their property.
We hope these ideas help you implement water safety for your child with autism. And for more general recommendations for pools, beaches, lakes, etc., check out this swimming safety guide. We want everyone to have a less stressful and more enjoyable summer!
If you found this information helpful, we’d love it if you’d share it with others!
Strategies for Managing Challenging Behaviors for Children with Autism
“Challenging behaviors” are defined as “behaviors that can be disruptive and/or difficult to manage.” Challenging behaviors may manifest in several different forms including avoidance, aggression, self-harm, destruction, eating inedible items (otherwise known as Pica), elopement, tantrums, screaming, and more. These behaviors can happen in any setting, whether it’s in a public place or in the home. But depending on the cause (or “function”) of the behavior, there are ways to lessen the likelihood of behaviors happening. Likewise, there are ways to respond when they do occur. We have gathered strategies for managing challenging behaviors for children with autism from our Director of Clinical Standards, Dr. Jennifer Thomas, Ph.D., BCBA-D, LBA.
Why Challenging Behaviors Happen
While behaviors often have a driving reason for their occurrence, they can sometimes be dangerous. If your child is engaging in behaviors that put them or someone else at risk, we strongly recommend you seek professional help. When it comes to managing challenging behaviors in children with autism, it is important to remember that behavior is communication.
There is always a reason for a child’s behavior. For example, the behavior may be the result of the child wanting to get something or to get away from something. This, in simple terms, could be a person, place, activity, or type of internal/external stimulation. Dr. Thomas says that challenging behaviors “often have more than one cause,” making it difficult to pinpoint why they occurred. A Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) has the expertise to help parents. Through careful observation and data collection, BCBAs can determine why a behavior is occurring. Based on this, they can craft an individualized plan to help teach parents how to respond in a way that will minimize behaviors and maximize success.
How to Prevent the Likelihood of Challenging Behaviors Occurring
While specific expertise is needed to craft a plan to decrease severe challenging behaviors, there are some tips that can help parents plan ahead to decrease the likelihood of these behaviors occurring in the first place. It is important to remember that having good communication between yourself and your child is a great starting point! While this is no easy task, there are ways you can prepare your environment(s), and your child, so that these behaviors are less likely to occur.
“Set your child up for success,” says Dr. Thomas, by recognizing the components that are likely to cause behaviors. This can be done by being observant. Look for patterns such as similarities in context or environment that a behavior happens, similarities in reactions to certain events, and changes in setting and mood before, during, and after a behavior occurs. Physically make note of these patterns, if possible, to reference and help yourself to make mental connections. Doing so can help you identify and plan ahead to possibly prevent a behavior. This is also great information to provide to your BCBA.
The following are some tools to help prevent challenging behaviors:
- Having a consistent communication method (AAC device, PECS, signs, gestures, vocal language).
- Carrying sensory toys or snacks with you.
- Having headphones or sunglasses available in public places to reduce sensory irritations.
- Prepare your child’s expectations before doing something difficult or novel.
- Bring fun activities or snacks to make undesired activities or outings a bit more fun.
- Make trips short, if possible.
- Avoid areas that you know may trigger your child, if possible.
- Use timers and countdowns.
- More ideas are available through the Autism Research Institute.
How to Respond When Challenging Behaviors Occur
How you respond to your child’s challenging behaviors depends on the behavior that is occurring and what the trigger is. The cause of behaviors, Dr. Thomas emphasizes, oftentimes lies at the root of a communication struggle, impulsive behaviors, or issues with emotional regulation. Dr. Thomas says it is helpful to think about what the child is trying to communicate and to be observational. This is the first step in figuring out how to respond when a behavior occurs. As every child’s situation is unique, professional expertise is necessary when formulating a specific way to respond. It is also helpful to teach your child calming strategies, in addition to focusing on some of the other areas of struggle.
Some coping strategies may include:
- Squeezing hands
- Stomping feet
- Counting
- Taking deep breaths
Some children are easily redirected if you can draw their attention elsewhere during a behavioral episode. This may be effective in the moment but is not a long-term solution. The most important thing to remember when trying to manage a challenging behavioral scenario with your child is to “get safely through that moment and know there is another learning opportunity to come,” says Dr. Thomas. Also, remember to have compassion for your child and yourself as you’re going through this tough and often stressful situation.
Where to Get Help with Managing Challenging Behaviors
ABA Therapy is a very effective resource for addressing challenging behaviors. In ABA Therapy, we focus on teaching ways to communicate and behave. “Children should always have a functional way to get their needs met,” Dr. Thomas says. This is where Functional Communication Training, or FCT, comes in. Functional communication can be as small as the child pointing to something they want, as a means of asking for it, or handing over a picture icon of an item.
“We begin by teaching a communication task that children find easy, this varies based on skill level. The idea is to give children another, more appropriate skill to use to communicate in lieu of using a challenging behavior.” If your child is already in ABA Therapy, their Board Certified Behavior Analyst, or BCBA, is a great resource. For children enrolled in a school program, an Individualized Educational Program, or IEP, can be a great resource to reference. If your child has not had a developmental evaluation, and is exhibiting challenging behaviors, it may be time to seek out a pediatric or developmental psychologist. From there, a psychologist would be able to perform assessments that could determine if there is anything underlying the child’s behaviors. Healing Haven’s Testing & Assessments services can help with this process, as well as contacting your child’s pediatrician.
In addition to these resources, there are several organizations that can help, such as: Autism Alliance of Michigan, Autism Support of Michigan, Michigan Alliance for Families, National Autism Association.
Challenging Behaviors: Finding Community
The behaviors you encounter from your children can sometimes be difficult to manage, but keep in mind that you are not alone. In addition to the professional resources we have shared, there are other parents who understand. Finding community is important in helping share ideas and reducing your own stress.
If you’re thinking you need more help in how to manage your child’s challenging behaviors, please contact us for information about our ABA Therapy for kids with autism. And our testing and assessments services can empower you with information on how to best support your child.
We hope that throughout this article you were able to find useful information that can be utilized going forward. Don’t hesitate to share this piece with others, as well as comment, if you found it helpful!
The Benefits of Organized Space For Individuals With Autism
Have you ever tried working in a cluttered area? Or been distracted by noises or lighting while trying to focus? Most of us would not feel very successful if we were attempting to be productive in such an environment. For individuals with autism, distracting, messy work and play spaces can only magnify the struggle of focus when gaining new skills. Whether it’s your home or your child’s play area, keeping an organized space for individuals with autism reaps many benefits.
Why Organized Spaces for Individuals with Autism
A clean environment is an important element to the success of individuals with autism. In fact, it influenced the design of our clinics. Our Executive Director Jamie McGillivary intentionally chose the colors of the walls, the use of natural light and artificial natural light, simple layout and organized spaces. And these principles can carry over into the home environment too.
Less Distraction
Many individuals on the autism spectrum experience excessive sensory input. Consequently, distraction is common. Too much unnecessary clutter and detail can derail a child’s focus. Even minor messes that may be easy for a neurotypical child to ignore could cause attention issues for those on the spectrum. Minimizing unhelpful sensory experiences aids in their ability to focus for individuals with autism.
Specifically, consider visual and auditory senses when designing a distraction-free space:
Visual
Keep walls simple in decoration to prevent overwhelm. Many kids with ASD notice minute details in the area around them. Tucking away supplies and toys in bins or cabinets out of sight reduces temptation to interact with them while also reducing distractions. For colors, utilize solid, soft tones such as green, blue and pink and avoid yellow as it can be overstimulating.
Auditory
Sensitivity to noise is a common symptom for kids with ASD. While neurotypical children may function easily with sounds considered background noise, those sounds may be incredibly distracting for children on the spectrum. Keep your child’s space as free as possible from traffic noises, humming machines, loud ticking clocks, and other potential “noise clutter.”
Enhances Organizational Skills
Organizational tasks that we deem simple may require more effort and practice for individuals with autism. A clean work environment promotes organization and productivity, which in turn helps a child acquire new skills. Designating organized areas helps individuals with autism predict what will take place in their workspace. Labeling areas such as drawers and cupboards can help kids practice putting their supplies and toys away when finished. This also helps reduce long-term clutter and ensures smoother transitions to new activities. Color coding is another fantastic way to make organizing easier for kids on the spectrum, as different colors represent different purposes for an area.
Reinforces Routine and Expectations
Organization helps an individual’s success and independence in following instructions. If a space is cluttered and messy, they will likely get more confused when trying to learn skills and complete routine tasks. According to research, organized and structured learning spaces aid kids in staying on-task and performing well academically. Structure helps you as a parent as well, as it can reduce the need for your assistance.
If you believe your child could benefit from some decluttering and organization at home, here are a few ideas to get started with over the summer. And remember, you don’t have to try all of these things at once!
- Organize toys, art supplies, school materials, etc. into labeled areas and bins
- Paint your child’s room a new, calming color
- Tackle one room at a time and identify items you can remove or put away for a simplified and, hopefully, less stressful setting.
These ideas may not only benefit you, but your whole family may begin to feel some stress lift as a result of creating organized spaces for your child with autism.
How to Explain Death to a Child with Autism
Losing a loved one, whether it is expected or not, is hard for anyone to navigate. It’s a process that involves accepting reality, seeking support if necessary, and allowing yourself time to feel natural emotions. So it’s not surprising that explaining the death of a loved one to a child with autism may bring some additional challenges.
Death is a difficult concept for any child to understand, let alone those who may have a hard time grasping abstract concepts. But death and loss are also unavoidable. That’s why we put together some tips to help your child with autism or special needs understand and deal with the process of losing a loved one.
Be literal and thorough when explaining the loss
When explaining the death of a loved to your child with autism, use literal terms. This may help the death make more sense to them. Avoid using terms such as “passed away”, “gone to sleep”, or “gone to another place”. Using these terms risks your child taking them literally and becoming frustrated when their loved one doesn’t wake up or come back.
Be direct when you are explaining the passing of a loved one to your child. The more direct you are, the easier it will be for them to understand. Allowing room for questions is key here and answering them honestly to the best of your ability should take priority.
Keep routines as unchanged as possible
Change in routines can be particularly challenging for individuals on the spectrum. The death of a loved one is a major life changing event. That’s why it is best to keep everything else within their routine as consistent as possible. People with autism find comfort with routine, and comfort is something we all strive for while grieving. Bedtime routines, playdates with friends, school and therapy may be part of daily routines. You should try your best to maintain these activities if they bring your child peace.
Involve them
When helping a child (with or without autism) through loss and grief, it may seem best to exclude them from certain parts of the process, like attending a funeral with an open casket. While it largely depends on your child’s level of cognitive understanding, as well as your expertise in making the best-informed decision for your child, many professional sources suggest that shielding a child with autism from the complexities that come with loss will likely confuse them more. These sources suggest being transparent and asking your child if they would like to be part of a certain aspect (like the funeral, wake, or burial). With this, allow them to ask any questions they might have.
Another good option, as Alicia says in The Mom Kind, is “to have a celebration of life that they can attend instead of the funeral”. Doing this, Alicia says, “allows involvement without having to see all the grief”.
Prepare them, if possible
If you know that a family member or loved one is terminally ill, try and familiarize your child with all the places they will be during this time. This could be places like the hospital, funeral home, or cemetery. Remember to talk about the emotions they will see from others throughout the process. A great way to do this could be through pre-made “social stories”. Social stories use photographs to help explain and show the child what will happen before it happens in real-time. These photographs and descriptions of the photographs can include emotions that they will observe of others. More information on constructing a social story can be found here.
As we know, children who are on the spectrum can have an especially difficult time dealing with the unexpected, so it is a good idea to make the loss as “expected” as possible. Of course, this may not always be possible and sometimes a loss can be sudden. In this case, you can still do your best to show and tell your child what to expect. Use any photos you have available or pictures online to do this. More ways to prepare your child for loss and help them understand it can be found in this article from Child Bereavement UK.
Utilize books that help explain loss
When it comes to bereavement and children with autism, a lot can be gained from books that are specifically made for this life event.
The 2017 book, I Have a Question about Death: Clear Answers for All Kids, including Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder, is a straight-forward, color-filled read that addresses the questions that concrete thinkers might have surrounding death. It answers them in a simplistic manner. This book has an abundance of good reviews from parents who have had to explain this topic to their children. We recommend it as well!
Another book that is a good choice for the topic of grief is the interactive workbook, Finding Your Own Way to Grieve by Karla Helbert. This book is unique in that it encourages expressive techniques and exercises to help your child identify and process the feelings that accompany loss. This book is perfect for children and teens to work through on their own. They can also use it with the help of a parent or professional. Find this book here.
Lastly, How People With Autism Grieve, and How to Help: An Insider Handbook, is best suited for teens and young adults who need security and affirmation after losing a loved one. Though the book only bases suggestions off one person’s unique experience, it can prove helpful in relating to what your child might be feeling emotionally. Find out more about it here.
Takeaway
We all have different ways of dealing with loss. It’s important to make it known to your child with autism that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to respond to the death of a loved one. The most vital thing, though, is to ensure that your child knows there is support around them and that they have people to talk about it with when they feel sad or confused.
Your 2023 Autism Reading Guide
With the chilly months upon us again, many have started looking for new books to read this year. To help you build out your reading list, we’ve researched the latest books about autism published since our book list in 2020 to create a new autism reading guide for the year. There are several books for parents as well as books to help autistic kids, tweens and teens. Take a look at some of the latest books about autism to add to this year’s reading list.
For Parents
We know that navigating the world of autism as a parent can present many unique challenges. Parents of all kids don’t always know how to handle the needs of their children. But having a child with autism adds unique needs that can be difficult to navigate. However, there are several new books about autism released in 2021 and 2022. These are written specifically to be beneficial to you as a parent of a child with autism.
Navigating Autism: 9 Mindsets For Helping Kids on the Spectrum by Temple Grandin and Deborah Moore
Joined by psychologist Debra Moore, Dr. Temple Grandin explores various mindsets that are effective when working with kids and young adults on the autism spectrum. You’ll find personal stories from Grandin with anecdotes from parents who have sought her insight. You’ll also discover advice from Moore who has 30+ years of experience in psychological work with kids on the spectrum. Not only is this a good read for parents, but helpful for anyone who impacts the lives of children on the spectrum. Check it out on Amazon.
We’re Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia
Writing from personal experience, Washington D.C. reporter and journalist Eric Garcia helps give readers a better understanding of life from the perspective of an autistic person. Through this, he informs them on effective ways to help those on the spectrum. In this book, Garcia breaks down popular myths surrounding autism and uses historical facts to support his claims. For anyone who is interested in learning more about autism to better help a loved one, this book is available here.
It Takes a Village by Amy Nielsen
Educator, writer, advocate and mother of four children, including one with ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder, Nielsen uses her experience as a chance to help parents and family members of children with exceptional needs learn to build a strong support system. Nielsen covers how to make these important connections. In addition, she takes time to explain the importance of them in the special needs community. Having an emphasis on family involvement, the book includes worksheets to help readers track their progress in creating a support system for their loved one(s). To find out more about this book, go to It Takes a Village.
For Kids, Tweens and Teens
We are thrilled to find so many new books about autism specifically written for kids, tweens and teens! Here are a few released within the past couple of years to build out a reading guide for your tween or teen with autism.
I am Autism “In the classroom” by Blake Carter Desiree
Written by a child who has an ADHD and an autism diagnosis, Desiree delves into what school life is like. He goes on to explain how his diagnoses makes life difficult for him as a different learner. This book provides perspective that could be impactful for helping neurotypical children better understand neurodiverse peers. Desiree’s story can also help a neurodiverse child feel more understood and supported in a classroom setting. I Am Autism is available here.
When things get too loud: A story about sensory overload by Anne Alcott
This book is an excellent option if you are seeking an educational, vividly illustrated story that can be read to both neurodiverse and neurotypical children. This read is created specifically to help children understand and learn emotional regulation skills. It beautifully explains coping strategies for any child who may struggle with overstimulation and sensory-processing issues. This book is highly rated for its inclusiveness and thoughtfulness. Find When Things Get Too Loud here.
This Is Me! I am who I’m meant to be by Amy Pflueger
With her knowledge and experience, Pflueger, an advocate and mother of two autistic sons, wrote this book primarily for autistic children to relate to and help them better understand why they might be “different” than their peers, as they learn to engage in a world that’s already full of challenges and surprises. It promotes self-acceptance and is also a great source for siblings and classmates of autistic children. It can help them to better acknowledge, accept and understand autism on a deeper level, all while using simplistic and digestible words and pictures. If you’re looking for an awesome, educational story to share with your child, you can find this book here.
Have you picked up a new favorite book about autism that we don’t have here? Let us know in the comments!
And we hope you learned about some new books and resources through this year’s autism reading guide. If so, please share it with your community!
5 Ways to Express Love to Your Child with Autism
This post originally appeared in the February 2020 issue of the Autism Alliance of Michigan MiNavigator Newsletter . Written by former Healing Haven BCBA Carita Niemann, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA.
Valentine’s Day is a special time of the year. We often pause and express love to those who are close to us. However, communicating this love to each person in our lives takes a unique form. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages®, everyone expresses and receives love in a unique way. Children with autism are no different!
In my 10 years of working with children with an autism diagnosis, I have loved the challenge of finding ways to “reinforcer pair” with them. This is applied behavior analytic talk for “loving them in their own unique way.” For some children it can be as simple as providing them with their favorite toy. While for others, this can entail months of chasing them with hand puppets, blasting them up like a rocket, and working up a sweat to evoke one heartful giggle.
As parents and caregivers of children with autism, when we do the work of finding ways to show love to our kids — they return the love tenfold. Just like any relationship, it is always helpful to reflect on new ways to express our affection.
5 Ways to Express Love to Your Child with Autism
Using the wisdom of The 5 Love Languages®, here are a few ideas of how you can express love to your child with autism this Valentine’s Day:
Words of affirmation
Many children with autism are visual learners. As a result, they respond well to pictures, videos, and written words over spoken words of affirmation. Consider creating a photo book with pictures of significant memories with your child and a few words to describe each memory.
Physical touch
Children with autism seek sensory input in a myriad of ways. Some enjoy the physical touch of loved ones through hugs, tickles, cuddles, and kisses. While on the other hand, others find more enjoyment in the sensory input from the physical environment in which we live. This Valentine’s Day, if Michigan winter allows, try spending time outdoors with your child exploring the cold snow. For extra sensory input, take food coloring with you and watch a winter wonderland turn into modern art!
Quality time
Our children receive demands all day long— “get dressed,” “clean up,” “do this,” “do that,” etc. As adults, it is challenging for us to spend time with a child without placing any demands. However, with some effort, perhaps this is a true gift we can offer your child this Valentine’s Day. Intentionally plan for one hour of praise, imitation, attention, and freedom to be exactly who they are in that moment.
Receiving gifts
Although chocolate and a teddy bear may be the perfect gift for some kids, there are other options too. A beautiful gift for any child could be the gift of a new experience. Depending on your child’s interests and preferences, here are some ideas to consider. You could take them to a sensory friendly movie, bake cookies from scratch, complete a science experiment, visit an indoor trampoline park, or explore the various children’s museums in Michigan. Additionally, find a winter activity in this blog post that would feed their need for sensory or motor input. Then purchase the items and package them together for a gift this Valentine’s Day.
Acts of service
As a twist, the recommendation for this category does not directly involve expressing love to your child with autism. As parents and caregivers of children with special needs, we spend much of our time caring for others. In order to give from a fuller cup, try scheduling time for self-care this Valentine’s Day. As little as 10 minutes of meditation can lead to decreased anxiety, physical pain, and even cardiovascular disease.
Remember, “The number of ways to express love within a love language is limited only by your imagination” (Chapman). Let your creativity soar this Valentine’s Day as you express love to your child with autism – and anyone else in your life!
For additional reading on this subject, our Founder & President Jamie McGillivary, MS, LLP, BCBA, LBA, spoke about it with Metro Parent in 2022 – What Love on the Spectrum Looks Like.
Success Stories of Individuals with Autism
We live in a world where it is so easy to think about the negative values of something or someone. That’s why it’s crucial we prioritize the positive aspects. This is especially true for people with autism. There is a reason it is called autism spectrum – each individual is born with their own unique traits and abilities. Some on the autism spectrum may also have an intellectual disability. However, it’s important to note that around 44% of those diagnosed with autism have average or above average IQ. So why wouldn’t there be several remarkable success stories of individuals with autism? Here we hope to share some inspiring examples of people who have used their autism diagnosis to excel in their passions.
Temple Grandin
Starting out with a more well-known story within the autism community, Temple Grandin is a renowned American author and educator. She speaks on the treatment and behavior of livestock animals, as well as a public speaker and advocate for autism.
Grandin was not “officially” diagnosed with autism until much later in her life. At this point, she already had a successful career she had paved for herself. She accomplished this despite hurdles that were uncommon for children to have at the time of her upbringing. These included speech delays and social skills challenges. In the face of these hurdles and the bullying they evoked, Grandin discovered what she was passionate about – science.
She went on to receive several degrees on the topic and remains teaching to this day. In a quote from one of Grandin’s books, The Autistic Brain: Thinking Across the Spectrum, she explains that autistic kids often have uneven skills. “Parents get so worried about the deficits that they don’t build up the strengths, but those skills could turn into a job,” according to Grandin. She adds that “we need to be a lot more flexible with things,” when it comes to what we label as a “disability.” This way of thinking is at the foundation of Healing Haven’s values. We focus on our clients as kids and teenagers first, not their diagnosis. And we celebrate their unique strengths that come through neurodiversity.
More stories of successes like Grandin’s are available here.
Alexis Wineman
Alexis Wineman is the first woman with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) to participate in the Miss America competition, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Wineman’s story presents the perspective of being the only member of a large family to have an autism diagnosis. Her story focuses on what it is like to grow up with the support of neurotypical siblings. She also highlights the key role that siblings can play in the life of an autistic child.
Wineman’s sister, Danielle, said her advice for someone who has a sibling with autism is “to become a solid shadow for your sibling.” She points out that “when you’re diagnosed with autism, it’s a diagnosis for the entire family and not just that person.”
Another sister of Wineman’s, Kimberley, said that it is valuable to “engage them (your sibling with autism) and help them find their niche.” Wineman’s brother, Nicholas, said that he has learned and developed the skill of empathy due to growing up with his sister.
There can be endless advantages of having a family member with autism. And there is no doubt that a diagnosis can also strengthen a family. Comparable stories to Winemans are available on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website.
We love hearing these sibling perspectives and agree that an autism diagnosis impacts the entire family. In fact, it’s another one of our company values – to serve the entire family through parent training and counseling for parents and siblings.
Clay Marzo
Clay Marzo is an American professional surfer. He was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome as a teenager (before that designation was removed from the diagnostic definition in the DSM-5). Clay is known for his “unique ‘double-jointed’ style of turns and spins”. Marzo has “been hailed for his creativity with the board and his innovative maneuvers,” according to Autism Treatment Evaluation Checklist (ATEC) Sierra Leone.
In addition to features in several surfer films, Marzo is also in a documentary, ‘Clay Marzo: Just Add Water‘. The documentary delves into his life as a competitive surfer and a person living with autism spectrum disorder. He also volunteers with the non-profit organization Surfers Healing. The organization creates opportunities for children with autism to experience surfing through surfing camps in the United States and Canada.
Other stories like Clay’s are in this Lifehack article.
Dani Bowman
Dani Bowman is a writer, artist and motivational speaker who is on the autism spectrum. Creating an animation empire, she founded DaniMation Entertainment at age 14 in 2009. She has several professional degrees and is a powerful voice for those on the autism spectrum.
Bowman is also on Netflix’s ‘Love on the Spectrum,’ where she shares much about her personal interests. In this, she brings attention to the struggles she faces to find a potential life partner. She expresses the complications of not only finding someone who relates to her but who understands and accepts her romantically.
Further information about Bowman and her work is available on her company website.
Katie
Katie is currently a young adult on the autism spectrum. She grew up working closely with Healing Haven’s founder, Jamie McGillivary. Jamie credits her journey working with Katie as what helped shape her into the person she is today. Jamie’s experiences with Kaite as child inspired her career path and the creation of Healing Haven. Katie worked as an administrative assistant for the company and also worked at her local library.
Katie spoke at a Healing Haven Open House and shared her story with guests that included parents, doctors, and professionals. “I’m here tonight to tell people you shouldn’t underestimate people with disabilities. Through hard work you can live your dreams. Your child could have a bright future. Tonight, I can live my dreams such as being independent, working as an administrative assistant, and now being a public speaker.” You can read more of her story in this blog article, Never Underestimate Individuals with Autism.
Katie is an inspiration to all at Healing Haven and everyone who knows her personally.
Raising Expectations
We hope these stories inspire and offer hope for you and your child or loved one with autism. An autism diagnosis comes with a broad range of potential struggles as well as unique strengths. An average of 28% of our clients at Healing Haven graduate from our services or titrate down to needing lesser services. We work to make sure clients are as well-equipped as possible to thrive in their educational journey and prepare them for life beyond school.
There are many success stories of individuals with autism we should celebrate. But even if your child may need extra support, we all can work together to highlight the possibilities and help raise expectations for those impacted by autism. Incredible things can be born from the “bounds” of difference.
We would love to hear any stories you might have to share. Please feel free to comment below!